“Don’t let me interrupt.” His voice is silk and his hand rests on top of mine between my legs. His other hand slips behind my neck, holding my head as he kisses me slowly. Each gliding of our lips takes me to the edge of all reason.
Something as simple as a kiss has never felt so delightful. So forbidden yet desperately needed. He breaks away just as I try to enter his mouth with my tongue. Shifting, he presses his temple to mine; the words he utters feel as if they are whispered in my ear. “I told you once that I would like to worship at the altar of your hips. Do you remember?”
“I do,” I say. He hesitates, searching my expression. “It was on the beach, the first time we went,” I add, to prove it to him that I do, indeed, remember. He’s trying to see if the woman he made these memories with is still here. Despite all else that I have become, and so much that I am not, by now.
“Yes. So, tonight I have come to show my dutifulness to you.”
A flush rises up my body, though not from embarrassment. He continues to kiss my face and neck as our hands begin to move again. Ilryth pulls away slightly and I lock eyes with him. I want him to watch as I reach the pinnacles of pleasure. Every gentle caress and twist of my fingers feels all the better with the pressure of his hand over mine.
His lips reach my chest. He pulls aside the meager scrap of fabric with his teeth and encircles the peak of my breast. My back arches off the bed, leaning toward him, yearning for him. For more.
My thoughts are a hazy blur, but pleasant. I focus on nothing but him and this feeling of his body next to mine.
I release my breast to touch his face when he pulls away, shifting to the other. He pauses and looks at me with all the admiration in the world. He looks at me as though he loves me even though I know he could not because we both know our fate. We both know what destiny is waiting for us.
But in that moment, I don’t care, and I don’t think he does, either. He is here with me. Not because he wants to take something, because I have already given everything that I have left to give. I have given him my body. I have given him my thoughts. I have traded away my life with him. There is nothing more that he has to gain from indulging me. There is no other promise he could be seeking to solicit.
No, I must believe that he is here because hewantsto be. Nothing more or less. Perfect in its own way. Having always measured myself in the context of what I can give to others—defined my value in terms of what I can offer—the idea of him wanting me with no other ulterior motive is the most attractive thing I have ever known.
And I want him in equal measure. That thought, combined with the sustained movement of his fingers, is enough to push me over the edge, to have my nails dig into his shoulder and my chest press against him as I float off the bed and drift away from my body for several blissful moments.
* * *
“I can hear them now,”I say as I stare out into the Abyss. The Abyss stares back at me tonight. Waiting. Growing ever more impatient by the week.
“Hear what?” he asks from beside me. He gently caresses my arm, as if he seeks to remind himself that I’m still there.
I wouldn’t be anywhere else. There are still two weeks until the summer solstice. I cannot be sent into the Abyss yet. But soon.
“The songs of the dead,” I answer.
He’s silent for a long moment. I wonder if this information has displeased him. Finally, “What do they sound like?”
“Screams.”
* * *
The warmthof his arms feels like a long ago, forgotten home. His touch is bliss and comfort. It is not unlike the hymns I sing by day. Ilryth and I sing a different song by night. One that is wholly ours but in harmony with Krokan and Lellia’s.
He drags a finger up my collarbone. The touch grows more distant by the night. It reaches the tip of my chin, bringing my face to his. He leans down and kisses me sweetly. Longingly.
I shift, responding to his need with my own. This is the only thing I know in the world—this need of him. This want.
Ilryth pulls away from the kiss, rubbing his nose against mine. We float through the room, weightless, carried on the currents of bliss. “I know, you are resolved…but I cannot help wishing that there was still another way. If I could take your place as the sacrifice, I would.”
“You cannot.” I smile, somewhat sad…because I can feel the sorrow within him, even if I struggle now to fully comprehend it.
“I know. And—”
“Your Holiness?” another voice interrupts. It’s the young woman who has been coming to attend me regularly.
Ilryth releases me and we drift apart as she enters. Her eyes dart between us, disapproving. She says nothing as she paints upon my flesh with song. Then she gives a slight nod of her head and leaves promptly.
“I do not think she likes me any longer.” At first, she seemed a bit fond of me. But that’s faded.
“Lucia is worried for me, is all.” He sighs and runs a hand through his halo of golden hair. “You know how sisters are.”
“I do not.”
