His lips part slightly and then close as his chest swells. He looks like he’s bracing himself. The affection that was in his eyes runs away from the sorrow that’s filling them. Pain…at the idea of me not remembering. At what I’ve lost.
That will be it, the key to destroying everything when the time comes. It will be to let him go in a way that only I can—in a way that he has no control over. A way that there is no going back from. I won’t falter. When it is right, I’ll kill this budding love memory by memory, stripping it from me, and him.
“You…made a deal with me…” He starts slowly, finding his stride as he speaks. Some of what he says I remember from things he’s told me in the past. Others are gone completely.
Why was I in the ocean that night?He doesn’t know, and neither do I anymore. When he is done speaking, I rest my temple on his shoulder and allow my eyelids to grow heavy. They close slowly.
“I’m glad we met,” I admit, even though there are still blanks in my memories. There are things he’s not saying.
“Me too.” He kisses my forehead, lips lingering, quivering slightly. “A human and a siren. What an unlikely pair.”
“No more unlikely than the human breathing underwater…or being sacrificed to an old god.”
* * *
My singing is betterthan ever. I practice with Ilryth as I have before. But I also sing by myself—for myself. There’s peace in the words. In letting go. In the sweet blankness that follows every song.
Vast swaths of nothingness overtake my mind. The lacking makes room for me to focus on my work in learning the words of the old ones. But Ilryth has other intentions.
It is as if he wants to fill those voids solely with thoughts of him. His life. His body.
He takes me back to the shores of the Lifetree and we tangle in the surf. His body is ecstasy. Our moans a song. Every time feels as though it is the first.
The next time I sing, every time becomes the last.
* * *
If I runmy fingers lazily over the marks Ilryth drew on me earlier today, I can still feel him touching me, holding me. His hands magically summon paints and pigments underneath my flesh, smearing and shaping them as he kisses my every worry away. I do not hear music when I study my skin tonight. Instead, I hear the song of our lovemaking ringing in my ears, a rhythm of sound and percussion of hips.
It churns a deep and fierce need within me. A beast has been awoken within, more fearsome than any old god, and I welcome the opportunity to become the monster.
Night has fallen across the sea, and I wait on the balcony, wondering and hoping he will come to me again. Will he steal me away to the shores of passion? Will he lie with me in my bed?
If his body and mind are too weary from the day’s preparations for such forbidden delights, then I still hope he comes to me as I would like to delight in his mind. There’s so much I wish I knew about him. So much I know I’ll never have the chance to learn.
Every day he tells me more. He fills my head with stories. This man with the handsome face, and his loving tongue…and sad eyes. He tells me tales of a deep, dark trench, filled with monsters. Of a great escapade to brave it for rare silver. He tells me of a woman who saved him once when he was on the brink of death.
The stories stir something in me. Warmth, at first. But then restlessness. Nagging. Something…not quite there.
I look over the Abyss once more.
The water is murkier than normal tonight. The rot is churned by currents unseen. I wonder if Krokan is restless. I imagine the monstrosity writhing and slamming his tentacles across the sea floor, kicking up silt. He knows I’msoclose to being his. He must feel it, because I can.
The pigment that has soaked into my flesh is beginning to constrict around me. It won’t be much longer now until the stars are aligned for my offering. I’m nearly ready.
Yet, one thing pulls me back. One thing keeps me here, for now. I look toward the edge of the castle Ilryth swam around previously. Hoping he will come to me… We don’t have many nights left.
But I still know better than to expect it. He still has other obligations and we must be careful. Biting back a sigh, I turn back into my room and settle back into bed as the evening verses have begun. The sea is filled with siren song that begs for peace, and protection. It enhances the throbbing glow of the anamnesis.
I tune it out, lie back, and sink into the sponge. Expelling my worries. I relish in the delightful ache that has seeped into my bones thanks to Ilryth. While I do not have any need of sleep any longer, I don’t think that will stop me tonight from dreaming. My eyes flutter closed. I drag a hand down my breast to smooth my palm along my stomach. Even without him here, my core within is already on fire.
My fingers slide farther down, nestling between my thighs. I make lazy circles with my middle finger, sighing a second time, easing into myself and the motion. I think of how he felt within me, under me. His hips colliding with mine. Our breaths and moans a song of our own design. My other hand grabs my breast, pulling, twisting, teasing like his tongue did. I increase my speed and my hips arch slightly with need.
Through heavy lids I notice movement and I pull my hands from my body instantly. A cold sweat overcomes me, trying to douse the heat that had been building. Luckily, it’s not extinguished as my gaze quickly focuses on the man floating in the entry to my balcony.
There he is. In all his glory. I relax.
Ilryth looks at me as though he wishes to devour me whole. Consume me one delicious bite at a time. Wordlessly, he glides over and perches himself next to me.
