What would I do without her? Without any of my family?Gemma thought as tears stung her eyes. The thought alone of losing any member of her family was enough to upset her.
Gemma decided to keep their conversation light and had rather go ahead and try the dresses on to see if they needed to be adjusted. They all fit almost perfectly.
She and her mother spoke well into the night about who was now getting married or had to move to another country after getting divorced. Her mother, who did not like rumors, would ironically know more than those who chased after other people’s misery.
Did she know of Lothar and the baroness? How could she not have if it was general knowledge?
“Mother, do you know a Baroness Whitcombe?” Gemma asked. She did not want to relive seeing Lothar with her, but she had to know if her mother knew anything she did not.
“I do not believe that I do, why do you ask?” her mother inquired with a slight frown.
“She was Lothar’s first choice for marriage, but her wishes were taken more seriously,” Gemma replied.
“I am confused,” her mother said, her frown more pronounced now.
“Mrs. Baker said that his heart belonged to another. I saw him with her at the haberdashery and I am quite unsure that it is over between them. Even if he says different,” Gemma explained.
“You spoke to him about it?” Her mother asked wide eyed.
“Yes mother, why do you look so surprised?” Gemma said putting her hand infront of her mouth as she could not help laughing at her mother’s shocked features.
“I am just taken aback. You are not one to speak freely about your feelings, let alone to a man. I am sure that if Lothar says he wants to marry you, then he means you alone. He had better. White silk is the most expensive color to buy,” her mother replied with a teasing grin.
Chapter 16
Lothar could not contain his excitement as he waited for Gemma and her mother to arrive for tea. His mother had taken quickly to Gemma and her family, and it just served to make him believe in their union even more. When their carriage arrived, he almost ran down the stairs to go to her.
What will I do if she does not want to marry me? I already cannot live without this woman.Lothar thought as he stepped outside.
Gemma looked like a vision. Her hair was styled to perfection with the fringe curling down the sides of her face and the rest twisted into a neat bun. She wore a blue dress with pale silver inserts that brought out her eyes. When he approached her to greet her, the wind carried notes of vanilla and honey.
“Good afternoon, Lady Castwell, My Lady. Welcome to our home. I am so glad you could make it today. How did you find the trip here?” Lothar asked quickly. He hoped they could notsee that he was more nervous today. He had not slept more than an hour or two last night.
I must know if I stand a chance with Gemma. Her father gave me three months and one is already at its end. Today I must ask her the question that steals my sanity and my rest. I must ask if she has changed her mind and will marry me. What if she says that she will not.Lothar thought as his mouth went dry with the emotions churning in his stomach.
He took them to see his mother who had arranged an impressive amount of eats. He worried that she had prepared their entire pantry and would now be without food for weeks.
It would be worth it if only she would be mine.Lothar thought as he pulled a seat out for Gemma and her mother.
“I am so glad the two of you could make it today,” his mother said as she poured their tea for them.
“Thank you so much for having us, we are delighted to be here,” her mother said as she lifted her porcelain cup to take a sip of tea.
They ate and spoke until there were only crumbs left on the plate and they had gone through four kettles of tea.
“Shall we go for a walk to aid digestion?” Lothar asked Gemma once she had finished her tea.
“I think it has become necessary, thank you, Your Grace.” Gemma rose from her chair. Lothar felt thrilled to have her to himself. The only frightening part was that he knew he would not forgive himself if he did not ask her about marriage. He felt he had given her enough time by now to have drawn a conclusion. He was just worried that her feelings on the matter had not changed. They had made their way from the house and were now in the gardens.
Lothar knew they were not nearly as lovely as the gardens at her home, but he knew that one day they could be.
“My Lady. Do forgive me for asking. I must know, have you thought about us?” Lothar asked and felt relieved that he had said it.
“About us, Your Grace?” Gemma asked.
“Yes, My Lady. We agreed that we would give this a chance. That perhaps we could at least try for the three months your father initially gave me,” Lothar replied gently. He did not want to push her, yet he knew the uncertainty would ruin him.
“Your Grace I can honestly say that I am still very unsure about marriage. It is not because it is you, Your Grace. I have thought this way for many years, it is difficult to suddenly change,” Gemma said, and even though she had not saidnoit still felt like a rejection from her.
