“How did you learn to love him, Grandmama,” Gemma asked.
“Well it turned out that we had much in common. It was something we could build on,” her grandmother replied.
“Is that why you believe we will work Grandmama? Lothar and I?” Gemma asked with a smile.
If my grandparents could make it for all these years, then maybe Lothar and I could as well.Gemma felt her mood improve and her hope for her and Lothar becoming stronger.
There is still one matter that does bother me…
“Grandmama, what if he simply wants to marry me to improve his estate, and once he has done that, he leaves me?” Gemma asked only now realizing how much the prospect hurt her.
“He does not strike me as the type of man to do such a thing. Then again, I have been fooled a few times in my life” her grandmother admitted.
“What should I do, Grandmama. I care for Lothar I am just so afraid I will get hurt, that he will not ever love me. You should have seen him with this other woman. I find it hard to believe that he could just stop loving her.” Gemma felt what little hope that rose within her almost dissolve completely.
“My girl, life is not like the books you so enjoy reading. Real life is full of emotions and decisions that alter the course of your life. It is never perfect, and we hardly ever get everything we want. My dear girl, I know you have a romantic heart and there is nothing wrong with that. If you are waiting for it all to be exactly how you wish it to be, you will wait till my age,” her grandmother said, with more feeling than she had heard her have in years.
“I am aware how imperfect life can be Grandmama. I do not want it to be perfect I only want to marry a man who will love me, and who finds the same things to be of great importance, such as my writing and being able to help whomI desire at the drop of a hat.” Gemma felt she was not being unreasonable.
“You cannot guess how your marriage will be. You must experience it and change what you do not like, even if that is your husband,” her grandmother’s tone was teasing, no doubt wanting to cheer her up.
“First, I will have to find a dress for this tea we are invited to. Where does my mother think I shall find a new dress for the occasion?” Gemma asked not wanting to disgrace herself by being seen out in the same dresses.
“She has, as I understand it been making a few dresses since Lothar has entered your life. I dare say she is as in love with you and he getting married than it seems the two of you feel,” her grandmother said with a laugh. “Do not be surprised if she asks to fit you for your wedding dress.”
“Mother has not even mentioned any of those dresses,” Gemma said in confusion.
“She wants to be prepared. Do you know that when she was a little girl, she would make dresses and suits for the ducks we had at the time. Every few days there would be a wedding for these animals. Your mother enjoys happy events.” Her grandmother shrugged her shoulders as if it explained everything.
“Well I have sat down long enough now,” Gemma said as she got up to move more pot plants to where they would do better. Though her grandmother had offered her insights into the situation, she did not feel any more confident in knowing what to do.
Gemma thought it over as the days passed and the tea they were to have with Lothar and his mother came closer. She enjoyed Lothar’s company, and his mother was a pleasant woman. She had heard of how mothers-in-law have made their children’s spouses bitterly unhappy.
I hope that is not my future. To be in a loveless marriage with a woman who seeks my destruction,Gemma thought as she looked at thedress she was to wear. Her mother had indeed been making her a few new dresses.
Her mother had enjoyed making her children’s clothes. They could afford to shop for clothes, but were not as good quality as what her mother made. She had not once encountered a loose thread or an uneven cut in all her years. The clothes that were ordered, even fine ones from Paris, paled next to her mother’s skill.
“You have been busy, mother,” Gemma said as she entered her mother’s sewing room. Her mother was concentrating on the fabric she was putting together while she hummed a joyful song. It was only when Gemma came to sit in front of her that her mother noticed she was not alone.
“Oh hello dear. What do you think?” Her mother asked earnestly as she carefully put her work aside and got up to show Gemma the other dresses.
“They are as magnificent as always mother. I hope you have not worked too hard,” Gemma replied.
“Never mind that. This fabric, have you ever seen such rich colors?”
Gemma knew this conversation was not going to be easy. Her mother had so much joy since she had started showing an interest in marriage, that Gemma feared she was running away with it and would get hurt.
What if I do not marry Lothar and she has already started with the dress for the occasion?
“Mother it is very beautiful, as always. I do hope I will get the opportunity to wear them all,” Gemma replied.
“Why would you not?” Her mother asked.
“It is not official that Lothar and I will wed, Mother.” Gemma waited to see her mother’s reaction. She merely smiled and shrugged.
“It does not have to be Lothar, my dear girl. I want to make sure I have done my duty before my hands are too old.” Her smile showed it was a joke on her part, yet they both knew timedid not wait. Soon her mother might be too old to create things with her hands.
“Thank you, Mother,” Gemma said, and embraced her mother.
