“Then what can I do to help change your mind, My Lady? Is there something I am doing wrong?” Lothar asked.
“No, Your Grace. It is not that you have done anything wrong. I wish to have a marriagewhere we both care about each other,” Gemma replied.
“I do care about you, My Lady. And I can live with knowing you do not… if I must…” Lothar said. He knew it sounded desperate, but he already could not live without her.
I can live without her love, but I cannot be without her.Lothar thought with growing despair.
“Actually, Your Grace, I do care for you deeply as well. If I may be honest, I do not think you will so easily forget about Baroness Whitcombe,” Gemma said.
“My Lady, I was a complete fool. I have not so much as thought about her since you have given me the opportunity to spend time with you. I find we are more compatible than I had realized, and I believe we could make this place, our place, a paradise for us and our family.” Lothar resisted the urge to take her hands in his. He did not want to push her further away as it seems he had not convinced her absolutely as yet.
“I am not even certain that I want to start a family, I have a perfectly good one already,” Gemma replied.
“It would be a shame, My Lady. You are so very good with children.
“And what would the cost be? To lose myself in the process. To be in a marriage where I will constantly wonder if you are thinking of me or pining after your old love? No, Your Grace. As it stands now, I do not believe we shall get married. The funds you seek are not tied up in matrimony. I can help you with the funds needed but I must know what it is you wish to do here before I do,” Gemma explained.
“I am not sure what you are saying, My Lady,” Lothar replied.
“You see, Your Grace. My father raised me like he would have if he had any sons. I have been working with my own finances since in my teens. After a few sound investments I have more than tripled my money. I could teach you if you like,” Gemma said. Lothar was impressed that Gemmawould be in charge of such things. There was of course nothing wrong with it, it was just unusual.
“So you have a counter offer of the funds to help my estate. Your terms being that we do not get married?” Lothar asked hoping he had misunderstood.
“Yes, Your Grace. I can help you turn this estate around and we would both not have to burden ourselves with marriage,” Gemma said, looking satisfied.
A burden?Lothar thought with a tight chest.
Then without warning Gemma reached out and held onto Lothar’s arm. The unexpected touch made Lothar’s heart do its best to escape his ribcage.
Had she changed her mind and find that did want me?Lothar wondered. Then he noticed that she was visibly shaking.
“My Lady, what is the matter? “Lothar asked as she jumped forward to bury her facein his chest. Something had frightened her, and she had trusted him enough to seek safety and protection with him. It was a precious moment where he allowed himself to touch the tip of her head gently to give her comfort.
“Is it gone?” Gemma asked. The warmth of her face against his chest made him feel unsteady on his feet as the scent of honey and vanilla, of her, drifted towards him.
“Is what gone, My Lady?” Lothar asked. Gemma moved away from him, and he felt colder almost immediately.
“I thought I had seen a bat, Your Grace,” Gemma said, looking up at him still looking pale.
She had been truly frightened.Lothar thought as he tried to understand.
“A bat, My Lady? Are you very sure? I have not ever laid eyes on a bat, and I have lived here all my life.”
“Forgive me, Your Grace. Perhaps I was mistaken. I have a terrible memory from one,”Gemma said. He held onto her waist to ensure she would not faint.
“Would you like to tell me about it, My Lady?” Lothar asked wanting to know everything he could about her.
“I was about nine years of age, Your Grace. I had the loveliest pet hound. She was sweet yet protective. One day when we were running in the field as we did every day after my daily lessons. We stayed out later than we should have,” Gemma stopped to wipe a tear from her face.
This part of the story must be difficult for her,Lothar thought with sympathy.
“As it became dark one of those wretched things flew at my dog and bit her. She was just trying to protect me you see, and it was my fault for being out so late. At first, we did not think anything of the bite.
Then one day she became so ill that she did not even recognize me. She looked like a wild wolf with her eyes bulging and foam coming from her mouth. My father had to put her out of her miseryas the doctor said there would be no saving her.” Gemma finished her story angrily wiping away at her tears.
Lothar gently wiped one away. “My Lady that was not your fault. Children forget the time of day most days. I am so very sorry that happened to you. No wonder you fear them so, I would also.
They stood there a while before deciding to go back into the house. Lothar had his one hand at the small of her back and she had taken his other hand in hers.
