"I don't know, Mom. I wish I did," Caleb answered since Devon continued trying to breathe through his panic attack.
"Lori is a mess, Caleb. Why don't we take Devon and you get your wife home?" Don suggested.
Caleb hesitated, looking around for Lori. She was inside the office, sitting on the couch with Vince's wife Anna.
"Go, Caleb," Devon gasped. "I'll be fine with Mom and Dad."
Caleb didn't exactly believe him, but he stepped away regardless. He had to focus on Lori and how losing Hailey was affecting her, especially since she was pregnant. Don took his place, helping Devon out of the truck since it appeared the panic attack had passed. Lydia wrapped her arms around Devon and just held on. He didn't have it in him to console them, even though he knew they were upset, too.
"What did the police say?" Devon asked his father eventually.
"They said they'll begin again in the morning."
"I don't know what to do. She's alone, and it's dark and cold. She's my baby, Dad, how do I live with this?"
"I don't have the answer to that, son. I'm sorry."
A sob escaped him as he clutched his mother tighter. He had no idea what he was going to do with himself until Hailey was found.
Caleb and Lori left, and then Vince and Anna went home. Don and Lydia put Devon in their car and drove to his place where he wandered the empty house, lost and alone again. He found himself in his daughter's room picking up her favorite stuffed bear and staring at the pink and yellow comforter on her bed. Tears slid down his cheeks even as his knees gave out and he sank to the floor. He screamed as loudly as he could, roaring his anguish into the space surrounding him. Without Hailey, he had no reason to go on. They had to find her. Theyhadto.
Lydia found him, alarmed by his screams. She simply sat on the floor with him and held him as they both cried. "We'll find her, Devon. I promise we'll fix this. I promise."
If only he could believe her.
Chapter Two
That first night withoutHailey was the stuff of nightmares. He screamed and begged for God to spare his daughter's life. In his opinion, God owed him after taking Kathy away from him. Lydia did her best to soothe him, but he was so far beyond her help that there wasn't much she could do. It reminded her of the day her daughter-in-law died.
Devon had worked himself into such a frenzy that he vomited on himself and on his daughter's bedroom floor. He choked and gagged until there was nothing left inside him, leaving behind an empty shell. Lydia helped him to his feet and pushed him into the shower with his clothes on. He merely rested his head on the cold tiles and cried his eyes out. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't even focus on putting one foot in front of the other. All he could think of was going back out and finding his baby girl. Staying in the house rendered him useless. Resolve hardened, he moved quickly to dry off and change.
As soon as he’d redressed, he grabbed his keys and headed out the door, but his father intercepted him in the kitchen. "Son, where are you going?"
"To find my daughter." Devon thought it was pretty fucking obvious, and he didn't like being questioned. He was going out there whether or not his father liked it.
"It's the middle of the night. You need to sleep." Don tried to speak in soothing tones to placate his distraught son.
