"I don't need to sleep!" he screamed at his father. "I need to find my girl! I need to get the fuck out there and not give up looking until she's found!"
"Listen, Devon, I understand you're frustrated—"
"Do you? Do you understand what it's like to watch your wife die in your arms because some bastard was drinking and driving? Do you know what it's like to put yourself back together piece by piece and think your life isfinallynormal, only to have your daughter go missing?"
"No, of course not. I apologize for insinuating that I understand your pain. That's not what I intended. I merely meant I can empathize with your need to search for her, but you also have to take care of yourself and stay strong so you can be healthy when they find her. She'll need you when she comes back."
"She can't be found if no one is looking, and right now, no one is looking."
Devon brushed past his father and headed out into the dark. Once he reached the shop, he retrieved his flashlight from the truck before starting on a journey through the woods. A small part of him knew there was no point going through there since the search dogs had found no traces of her, but he wasn't in the frame of mind to think rationally.
It wasn't long before he heard someone calling his name. He stopped moving and shined the beam of his flashlight in the voice's direction. "Vince?"
As he neared him, the form of his lifelong friend came into focus. "Your dad called me. He didn't want to piss you off by coming himself, but he didn't want you out here alone."
"I can't just go to bed while she's still missing, Vince."
"I know. Let's look for a little longer."
Vince and Devon swept their flashlights back and forth, aiming at the ground as they walked. There wasn't even the slightest sign of Hailey, but Devon noticed some dog footprints in the softer soil. He knew they were wasting their time.
"This is bullshit." Devon stopped walking, looking around himself at the pitch black night. There wasn't even a moon to guide them.
"I don't know where else to look, Devon. Maybe you really should sleep and let the cops figure it out in the morning."
He knew Vince was right, that it was the logical thing to do, but his chest hurt at the thought of giving up. Sighing, he felt another tear slip out. "You're right, I guess. Thanks for helping me look."
When they reached the parking lot, Vince hugged Devon for a good long while before they parted and went back to their respective homes. Devon didn't sleep; in fact, he felt worse than before. He was exhausted both mentally and emotionally, not to mention his physical state. He'd never cried so much in his entire life, not even after Kathy died. At some point in time after her death, he'd reached a numbness that allowed him to be dry-eyed, but not that night. All he could do was cry for his baby.
Sunrise came and Devon prepared with a thermos of coffee. He couldn't imagine choking down any food, so he didn't even bother trying. At barely daylight, he pulled into the shop parking lot, impressed to find several police cars there already. Someone had set up a table under a white awning and people were moving about.
"Okay, everyone see where the grids are marked off? Don't stray past your sector and remember to radio in every half hour."
The chief was the one speaking, and there were men and women in similar Merrimac Police coats like the one she wore.
Spotting Devon, the chief headed over. "Mr. McMillan, are you joining us this morning?"
"Absolutely. What can I do?"
Chief Hemsworth motioned to someone. A lanky man with blond hair falling across his forehead came over. He was wearing a police uniform. "Sergeant Hurley, this is Mr. McMillan. Take him with you."
"Yes, ma’am." Hurley turned to Devon. "Call me John. It's your daughter we're looking for, yeah?"
"It is." Devon choked on his answer.
John touched his shoulder. "Let's get out there and find her."
Devon could only nod. They headed toward the woods again and joined up with a young woman. She said nothing, just fell in step with them.
"Why are we looking here when the dogs have already covered this area?" Devon asked.
“We'll spread out farther than the dogs went," John responded. “Chatsworth County Search and Rescue is currently on the far side of this sector, heading in our direction. The parking lot at your place of business is the best location for a base of operations because of the thickness of the forest area."
"Why are they that far away? She's only five, she couldn't have gone that far on her own." He saw the sergeant and the young woman exchange a look. "What?"
The woman spoke with authority, though she didn't wear a police uniform or coat. "Sir, we're no longer treating this as a child that might have wandered off. We're treating it as a child taken against her will."
The idea of someone taking his daughter sent bile racing up the back of his throat. Devon fell against a tree trunk and threw up, his thermos hitting the pine needles near his feet. There was little left in his stomach to come up, but he continued to dry heave, regardless.
