“What’s wrong?”
“I need your help.”
For reasons unbeknown to him, he’d been blessed with people who loved him so much that they did what he asked without question. Her response was immediate. “Anything. What do you need?”
He inhaled several breaths, trying to keep his voice steady when he spoke again. “I need you to get me back home.”
“Okay. Tell me where you are.”
He spent the next few minutes giving her his location. After he hung up, he received a string of texts. A cab was going to pick him up and take him to the airport and she’d even booked him a flight back home.
He didn’t know how long it took before the cab arrived. He was too preoccupied with tormenting himself to notice the time. He sent her text when he arrived at the airport to tell her that he was safe and on his way home. That was his last coherent thought, because afterwards he switched onto autopilot. Thirty-five days on the road and he was a bigger mess now than before he left Montana.
December, 10
Back in Montana
Kevin arrived in Great Falls early the next morning. He inhaled a breath, basking in the smell of home as he hopped out of the cab. The place he’d tried to escape from now felt like a sanctuary. Dom would probably come by soon to drop off Kay and there were a few things he needed to do before then.
He needed to make peace with all the disgusting things he’d said to Jasmin, find a way to ignore the method and focus on the end result. She would get over it in a few days. She was resilient like that. She would forget about him and move on, find happiness with someone who could give her what she needed. Deep down, he knew it was for the best. He probably wouldn’t be able to forget her and move on, but it had never been about him.
He walked around the house to the backyard, went to his dad’s shed and got a hammer and a few nails. He found a log that adequately represented Jasmin. Small, but flawless, smooth yet still a little rough around the edges, and he took his time carving her name into it.
Once it was perfect, he began hammering in the nails one by one, tainting it with holes, destroying it. Because that’s what he’d done to her. One nail for every vile comment.
“We’re not friends.”
“You’re socially inept! It’s no wonder no one wants to be around you.”
“The concept of we doesn’t exist.”
He hammered each one a little deeper.
“The fact that I indulged you in a pity make-out session before doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you.”
“I only fuck real women. Not little girls who are just pretending.”
He was breathing harder now, pounding with more fury. The wood splintered and broke with the force. It was the same thing his words had done to her.
“…the worst thing that has ever happened to you in your entire sheltered existence was finding out that a woman you don’t even know doesn’t love you.”
“…you deluded yourself into thinking I care. I don’t. I don’t give a fuck about you.”
A deep breath was needed for this last one and he tasted the remnants of blood in his mouth before he even started hammering.
“You were just a convenient fuck when no one else was around.”
His arm went wild, smashing it in until the nail was completely embedded in the wood. It would be impossible to get it out, a symbol of how deeply that comment had hurt her.
She hadn’t deserved any of it. The entire trip, she’d been nothing but nice to him. And yesterday, all she wanted to do was help. She should have left when he asked her to. He wanted her gone before the inevitable implosion and instead she got caught in the blast.
He’d made a royal mess of his life and he needed to start picking up the pieces and make amends. Not in a million years would he ever be able to make it right with Jasmin, but she wasn’t the only person he’d hurt. Maybe it was time for a little redemption and it needed to start with one woman.
The backdoor was still locked, but his mother would have left the front door open for Dom. Kevin walked to the front of the house again and entered as quietly as he could. He dropped his bags at the entrance of the dining room and headed for the kitchen. She was there, going about her morning choreswith little enthusiasm. Her shoulders sagged and she looked as distraught as she did the day he left.
“Mom.”
Although it was barely a whisper, his voice startled her and she spun around to face him. Tears immediately filled her eyes, but she was wary to approach him, scared he might pull away like he always did. That gesture alone was enough to confirm the damage he’d caused. He didn’t know if it was irreversible, but there was only one way to find out.
