“Care to talk about it? The wife says I’m a good listener.”
At that, Adam had to laugh. “Mr. D, you lie. You told me you tune out half of what she says because she’s either complaining about her sister or some other nonsense, and all you do is nod every two or three minutes. You are so busted.”
“You’re correct.” His eyes twinkled behind his black-framed glasses. “But I hear everything she says. I choose to ignore it because I’ve been listening to her talk about Rosa for forty years and it’s always the same. You’re different. This is something new, am I right?”
“Maybe. I dunno. I guess.” Adam ran a hand through his hair. “It’s nothing really. Something I shouldn’t have done and now I have to undo it. That’s all.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you have to undo it?”
Adam had never revealed his sexuality to Mr. D simply because it never came up, and now certainly wasn’t the time, so he chose his words delicately.
“I’m sort of involved with someone, and we said it wasn’t going to get too heavy, yet for me it has. So I don’t know how to tell them.”
“I don’t understand you young people. How do you get physical with someone and not have it be ‘heavy’?” Here Mr. D made quotation marks with his fingers, and despite his internal struggle, Adam couldn’t help but smile.
“Things were different in your day; that’s all I can say.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. Love doesn’t change. The way I feel about Maria when I see her walk into the room is the same as the first time I saw her. I knew she was special.”
“You’re a romantic.”
“Maybe so. But I know the world would be a much better place if people listened to their hearts and not their heads.” His grip on Adam’s wrist proved surprisingly strong. “Don’t overthink it. Go with your heart. I’ve never had it fail me yet.”
Adam contemplated Mr. D’s words on his walk back to the firehouse. He bypassed everyone on his way to the locker room, and before going out to join the guys for dinner in the kitchen, he took a moment to plan what his next course of action should be with Rico. Should he say nothing and continue as they were, or tell Rico how he felt and risk losing him? He pressed his fingers to his eyes to ward off the dull thump of a headache building at the base of his skull.
“Whassamatter, kid? You look like someone stole your puppy.” Patrick walked in and plopped himself next to Adam.
Living with these guys underfoot for days on end meant loss of personal space sometimes. “I’m fine.” He forced a smile. “See? Been a long day is all. Let’s get something to eat.” Wishing his shift was over now instead of in twelve hours, Adam pushed himself up off the bench.
“Not so fast.” Patrick put a restraining hand on his arm, and Adam quirked a brow.
“Yeah? What?”
“Sit.” Patrick tipped his chin to the bench. “I got something to say.”
“Nothing new there.”
“Wiseass. Now, look.”
Adam winced at those two words. Whenever Patrick started a conversation with those words, Adam knew he was in for a lecture. “What? I’m hungry, and those guys won’t save us anything if we don’t get there.”
“So I’ll buy you dinner. Listen. Ever since you got back from Texas last month, you’ve been moping around, staring at the wall when you think I’m not looking, shit like that. PJ’s been wondering why you haven’t called either.”
Guilt niggled at him; Adam honestly liked the kid and didn’t want him to think he’d been forgotten. “Tell him I’ll speak to him this week.”
“Tell him yourself; you’ve got his number. He looks up to you. You’re kind of his role model now.”
What a joke.“You’re right. I’m sorry. I have a lotta shit on my head, but I promise I will; thanks.” Adam flashed him a smile and hoped that would be the end of the discussion.
“I ain’t finished. So what’s going on with you? And don’t give me the brush-off by sayin’ nothin’. I know you. Is it still that kid’s death?”
When Patrick had asked him to talk to his son and help him, Adam’s respect for the man as a father and all-around person increased tenfold. They’d spent hours beforehand talking, with Adam detailing the horrors that could occur should Patrick and his wife reject PJ, and Adam had given enough of an inkling into his own past for Patrick to figure out something bad had happened. The love and support Patrick and his wife gave their child was how every family should respond. So Adam knew he needn’t have any fear in talking to this man about his own life, but what he felt for Rico was so personal, so life-altering for him, he had no idea where to begin.
“Yes and no.”
