“I know; we do. You don’t have to worry.” Another thing that bugged him. No matter how old he was or how successful, his father never stopped lecturing on the right way to do things. It made him feel like a child all over again. Remembering the reason for the phone call, Rico took the plunge. “Gideon and Jonah are planning their wedding. They’re going to get married soon. Isn’t that great?” He held his breath.
“I don’t understand why those people need to get married. Marriage is between a man and a woman; that’s what was intended.”
“Intended by who? A bunch of old white men? So you’re saying you’d deny Gideon the right to get married to the person he loves?”
“Enrico,” his father said in that maddeningly calm voice. “Don’t get all upset. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Of course it does. Gideon and Jonah are my best friends. And what if it did? Would you still feel the same way?”
“You’re joking, of course. You’re not like those people.”
“Stop saying that. They aren’t ‘those people.’ They’re people. People I love and care about who deserve all the same rights everyone has. How can you, a minority yourself, deny them?”
“I’m not denying them anything. What happened to you since you moved up there? You’ve changed.”
“No. I haven’t. I’m more me than I’ve ever been.”You just don’t know who I am. You never did.But Rico stopped short of saying it out loud—he couldn’t. And now he knew he couldn’t tell his father he was gay. He’d lose him. And as much as he hated what his father stood for, he couldn’t take that final step and break away from him. What a fake-ass he was. Gideon always joked about him being the strong-and-silent type, but he was weak. Weak and pathetic because he choked down the hurt and forced himself to pretend it would all be okay.
“We’re not going to agree, so why don’t we move on?”
“I was planning on calling you when I heard it officially, but since we’re talking now, I might as well tell you.”
“Tell me what?” Hearing the restrained excitement in his father’s voice sent a tingle of nerves through Rico, and he sat up. “What’s going on?”
“I’ve been nominated to be the state party’s chairman. It’s one step closer to me running for statewide office. It’s going to take a while, and there’ll be a whole new bunch of background checks on both of us, so make sure you keep your nose clean.” He chuckled. “I don’t want to read in the papers about you doing something silly in the clubs with any young women.”
“That’s great, Dad. Congratulations.” The words tasted bitter on his tongue, and a stab of disappointment pricked him for not standing up more for his friends and for himself. Adam, Gideon, Jonah, all the men who gave the finger to the world and lived their lives deserved better than a man like him as a friend.
“Imagine, Rico. One day you might even want to run for office. We could be a great team.”
Not likely.“I’m happy with what I’m doing; we’ve had this discussion before. I’m never going to want to go to law school or go into politics. I love cooking and creating and running my own business.”
“I know, I know. But you can’t blame a man for trying. It would be nice to have you down here, though, when I get sworn in. Show the world the serious and smart man your mother and I raised.”
“I miss her.” Rico shocked himself by blurting out the words he held in every day. He’d never had a chance to say good-bye, as she passed away before he could make it to the hospital from school. It was something else he and his father never talked about but left festering like a sore. Only once, after her funeral, did he see his father walk by the piano she loved to play in the evenings, brush his fingers over the keys, then walk away.
“I do as well. She’d be very proud of your accomplishments. As am I.”
“Thanks,” he whispered, a bit too overcome to speak further.
After they hung up, Rico remained in bed, ruminating over their conversation. As usual, it had revolved around him and his work; his father never said he was proud of him as a man. It was the work. Always the work. He rolled over, hugging the pillow close, the scent of Adam strong, and Rico wished…fuck it. He punched the pillow and got up to shower. Rico had no malice toward Gideon for forcing him to face the truth. But that validation didn’t help. Not when he knew what he had to do.
Chapter Twelve
Not having beenin a relationship in, well, forever, Adam still understood the concept of the brush-off. And Rico, making excuses every time Adam called to see if they could get together, was clearly giving him the message. Adam knew what had happened. He’d come on too strong for Rico by involving him in his life. He’d broken the rules they’d set for themselves of no emotional entanglements, only physical, and it cost him.
Walking back to the firehouse after a break, Adam had badly wanted to go to Rico’s store and force him to talk, but he refrained, knowing it would have the opposite effect and drive Rico away, never to talk to him again. His pace slow and ambling, Adam couldn’t even appreciate the beautiful gardens the homeowners had planted or enjoy the fragrance of the rose bushes that now bloomed with such riotous abandon.
“Adam.”
He jerked his head up to see the concerned face of Mr. D peering up at him from the stoop of his brownstone, and forced a smile.
“Mr. D, how’re you doing?” He stopped and leaned on the wrought-iron gate to say hello. “Beautiful night, huh?”
The tiny man joined him at the fence. “It is, and that’s why I’m wondering why you’re walking by like you’re wrestling with the devil. I had to call your name four times before you heard me.”
Age didn’t make a person any less perceptive, and Adam shifted from left to right under Mr. D’s bright-eyed scrutiny.
“Sorry. I’ve got a few things on my mind.” More like one dark and handsome chef named Rico.
