“If I’ve learned anything from being with Jonah, it’s that falling in love isn’t a mistake.”
A nervous laugh escaped him even as his heart kicked up. “Love? Who said that? I’m not in love. We’re having fun, but I think it’s gotten to the point where I need to ease back.”
“Because of your father?”
The mere thought of sitting down with his father and having a discussion about anything not work-related was as foreign a concept as him walking on the moon. Rico recalled a few awkward hugs and kisses at the funeral, but a few days later, his father was back at his desk, putting in longer hours than ever, speaking at community board meetings or attending fundraisers for state and local politicians. Their paths crossed only occasionally at breakfast, when his father would ask him about school and his grades, but Rico decided after several weeks of eating dinner by himself in front of the television to accept the invitation from his uncle and aunt to join them at their house for dinner. He’d grown tired of being alone night after night.
“What does it say about me that I’m thirty years old and too afraid of my father to tell him I’m gay?”
“It says that you’re living your life under assumptions, which is always dangerous. I did it with my dyslexia—for years thinking I was too stupid to ever make it in business or find someone who’d look past it to love me.”
“But you did.” Watching Gideon let go of his mistrust in people and fall in love with Jonah, who loved him so much, was a beautiful thing. “Jonah is a special man, even if he can’t cook.”
Recalling the kitchen disaster on Valentine’s Day that resulted in Jonah nearly burning down the apartment in an effort to surprise Gideon had them laughing so hard, it brought tears to their eyes.
“Yeah, he stays far away from the stove. The man has other talents.” Gideon smirked, and Rico had a flashback to that morning and him riding Adam’s cock while Adam melted down from orgasmic pleasure. The bruises from Adam’s tight grip on his hips pressed against his jeans, but Rico welcomed the pain, glad he had his desk to hide behind so Gideon couldn’t see his hard-on.
“I’m sure.”
“You think I don’t know you’re deflecting? I think you need to seriously consider talking to your father. How do you know he won’t accept you?”
From an early age Rico had been instructed in “the right way” to act; how the most important thing was to stay the course; fit in with everyone, don’t draw attention to yourself, don’t be different, and whatever you decide to do, always be the best.
As a teenager, discovering he was gay meant living inside two skins, being two different people, until he wasn’t sure who he was at all. Was he Enrico Estevez, straight-A student, class president, and the son of a county commissioner and potential senator? Or was he Rico, who, though underage, hung out at bars and had sex with strange men behind nightclubs in the seedy parts of town, always making sure it was dark enough so no one would recognize him…even though he was most unrecognizable to himself?
“You think I haven’t thought about it every damn day? I love my father, but we don’t talk. He’s never had the time, and even when we did, it was never about anything other than school or my grades.” Irritable and frustrated now, he drank his cooled coffee. “You know all this already.”
A frown marred Gideon’s face. “Yeah, but this is the first time I’ve seen you unhappy about it. Before, you shrugged it off and never cared. Now it bothers you because whoever it is you’ve been seeing”—and here he pierced Rico with a hard look, then continued—“that man has you wishing it wasn’t so. So think about it. Are you willing to give him up when maybe all you have to do is sit down with your father and have that talk?”
“You don’t get it.” Emotions he’d kept bottled up inside crashed down on him. “The man’s whole career is built on keeping the status quo of hard-line conservatives. He’s helping in the reelection campaign of a man who voted against gay marriage in Florida.” This was a conversation he never wanted to have because it hurt. It hurt so badly, Rico found it hard to take a breath. “He doesn’t want to be around people like you.” He held Gideon’s mournful gaze. “Like me. He’d walk away from me.”
“Rico, no way, man. Your dad loves you. Look at me and my father. Even we’re cool now, and we hated each other.” Gideon’s father may have ranted against his son being gay when Gideon was a teenager, but they’d made up and had a decent relationship. But this was different. The ramifications of Rico’s coming out might not only hurt his father’s chance at a future political career—they had the potential to drive them apart permanently.
“I can’t take the chance. My dad, even with all his faults, is all I have.”
A shout rang out from the kitchen.
“Rico, Gideon. The meat delivery is here.”
Grateful for the distraction, he stood and gestured to the door. “Time to get back to work.”
“Rico. I know what you’re thinking. But being with Jonah has taught me things aren’t always as they seem. If I’d kept pushing him away and he didn’t fight me on it, we’d never be together. Talk to your father.”
They headed to the kitchen, and throughout the day, whether he was mixing flour for the cookies or taking down orders for the weekend, Gideon’s words stayed with him, offering a tiny ray of hope that his father would put him first for once over work.
Coming out wasn’t a conversation he’d ever intended to have over the phone, yet when Rico went home that evening, he called his father, hoping to feel him out. He’d drop a few hints and see where they went.
“Hey, Dad, how’s it going?”
“Good, good. You caught me in between things, so I can talk. I don’t have to be downtown until nine p.m.”
Glad you could fit me into your schedule, Rico thought bitterly. Determined to banish the negativity, Rico lay on his bed, propped up on his pillows. Pillows that still smelled of Adam.
“Everything going well with the business?”
“Of course. We’re still taking in orders, and our word-of-mouth is through the roof.” He couldn’t help the satisfaction in his voice; he was so damn proud of what he and Gideon had accomplished.
“That’s excellent. Sounds like everything is going well, but make sure you don’t begin to take it for granted. Keep things new and fresh, and always watch the competition. That’s what I do.”
