“Carter, your next client is here.”
He gazed at her as if he’d never seen her before. Was this what it all came down to? Meeting after meeting, call after call, and for what? It seemed even Jacks was trying to find his place in the world, a place that no longer included Carter as the focus. Reed only wanted him if he was willing to tell him everything, but he couldn’t. The whole world he’d painstakingly built was slipping away bit by bit.
He had no answers.
“I’ll let you know when to bring them in after I finish this call from Helen.”
For now, he’d focus on his business, the one thing in his life he had total control over and had never let him down.
***
Walking into hishouse to see Jackson’s face light up with a smile made every miserable part of this day irrelevant. Never one to be demonstrative, tonight Jackson got up from the kitchen table where he and Helen had been going over his homework and gave him a hug.
“Hey, buddy.” Carter smoothed Jacks’s hair off his face. It was like staring into a mirror of innocence. He and Jacks shared the same dark hair and silver eyes, but there was no taint of disappointment or hardship on Jacks’s smooth cheeks. “How’s it going?”
He didn’t expect a response, so when Jacks took his hand and led him over to the center island, Carter prepared to listen to Helen give a recap of the day. He settled down on his stool, and Jacks handed him a sheet of paper with math problems.
“I did them all.”
Frozen with shock for a second, Carter recovered and quickly glanced at Helen who unsuccessfully tried to blink back the tears which streamed down her face. Afraid to break the magic, he swallowed hard and kept his voice steady.
“You did? That’s awesome.”
The brilliant smile on Jacks’s normally somber face was as if Christmas, New Year’s, and winning the lottery all happened simultaneously.
“The teacher said they were all right.” His legs swung under the counter top. “Can I have mac and cheese for dinner?”
Helen answered him, but Carter barely heard her response; he couldn’t take his eyes off the paper. Jacks had done some fraction work and several complicated-looking logic problems. At every parent-teacher conference they’d praised Jackson’s intellectual capabilities but confided he had trouble translating what went on in his mind, putting it down on paper, and verbalizing his needs. To come home and find a set of math problems written and have a conversation about them blew Carter away.
A hand touched his. “In the phone call today the paraprofessional told me she thinks these new friends of his are not only bringing out Jacks’s need for social interaction but are helping him in other ways as well. His sleeplessness could be his body and mind adjusting to overstimulation from all the new experiences. I knew once he found his niche and other children he felt comfortable with, he’d blossom. Isn’t it wonderful?”
With a stab in his heart, Carter watched Jacks happily eat the dinner Helen had prepared. The occupational therapy he’d had several years earlier had helped him with his dexterity and muscle tone, and he had little trouble handling his utensils or pens and pencils anymore. Now he was learning to branch out emotionally and take tentative steps toward creating a social life. This breakthrough should have thrilled Carter, but instead it filled him with dread.
As much as he wanted Jacks to soar, Carter feared a crash.
“What if they decide they don’t like him anymore or don’t want to play with him? You know how sensitive he is. I’ve tried to shield him from how miserable life can be, but I can’t do it all for him.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “No matter how much I want to protect him.”
“What if they love him and it all works out? How can you keep him from it?”
A soft rain pattered against the windows, and Helen went to shut the blinds.
“How long has Jacks been with you now, three years?”
Carter slid off his stool and went to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water. “Yeah. I found you right afterward.”
“Oh, I remember.” She chuckled and shook her head when he offered her one. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so scared yet so determined to do things right.”
He glanced over at Jacks who, having finished eating, was now scrutinizing the workbook that lay open before him on the large center island in the kitchen. Everything in his life from that day forward had been planned with Jacks’s needs in mind. Carter had always wanted a home with a large kitchen and a big center island. He’d never planned on having children of his own, but having devoured family television shows as a child, a big kitchen where everyone sat around at the end of the day spelled home. As soon as Jacks came to live with him, he’d had one installed.
He felt a tug on his arm.
“Can I have dessert?” Jacks gave him one of those increasingly more common smiles. “Helen bought ice-cream pops.”
If this kept up, Carter would buy him an ice-cream truck just to have Jacks happy and feeling safe. “She did, huh? What flavors?”
“I don’t know; I’ll check.” He tore off, running over to the refrigerator and flinging open the freezer door. “Vanilla and chocolate. I want chocolate. Can I, please?”
At Carter’s nod, Jacks brought the box over to him and laid it on the center island. “I don’t want to rip the box. Can you open it?”
