Recalling Jacks’s need for precision and order, Carter understood, and he showed him where the little pull tab was. “Here. Pull that, and it will open the side of the box.”
Jacks did, but a little of it stuck and tore the side off.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to ruin it.” Looking devastated, Jacks blinked back tears. “Now it won’t close right.”
“It will; it’s fine, see?” With the patience he’d taught himself in dealing with Jacks, Carter took out an ice-cream pop and then pointed out the little tab. “That fits in the little slot, and that’s all there is to it. So don’t worry.”
“Are you sure?”
“Totally. Now go eat, and then after we go over your homework, you get to pick what we do tonight since you did so well in school today.”
That was their everyday routine—dinner, dessert, homework, and then family time. He was helping Helen with her coat when Jacks, whose face was covered in smudges of chocolate, piped up, “I told my friends I’d go on the computer tonight.”
Carter heard Helen’s swift intake of breath, and he too needed a moment to respond. Before now, surprisingly, Jacks had never shown any interest in computer games.
“The computer? For what?”
“When I was over at Henry’s house he taught me to play this game called Minecraft, and it’s so fun. I want to play. Can I?”
“Minecraft?” Bewildered, he turned to Helen. “Do you know what that is?”
Chuckling, she finished buttoning up her jacket. “Oh, you’re in for it now. It’s all the rage with the kids; I hear them talking on the playground, and it’s like the black hole once they get started.”
Carter couldn’t have cared less; this newly talkative Jacks, one who asserted himself with a circle of friends, was all he’d hoped for the past three years and never thought he’d see. Despite the doctors advising him that it would take time, Carter had never believed they’d reach a milestone like he considered this day to be.
“Sure, buddy. After cleanup and homework I’ll get you set up.”
Helen left, and after he made himself a sandwich, he and Jacks cleaned up the kitchen. Armed with a big cup of coffee, he poured Jacks a glass of orange juice, and they sat down to tackle vocabulary. Jackson’s mind was anywhere but on the paper in front of him. After several attempts to settle him down, Carter issued an ultimatum.
“If you don’t finish the list of words, you’re not playing the game.”
Jackson pouted but set his jaw in determination and powered through the rest of his words while Carter ate. After testing him, Carter was satisfied he understood and closed the workbook. Helen had proven correct again when she told him once Jackson felt safe and secure enough, he’d be like a little sponge, sucking up as much information as he could take in.
“All finished. Let’s get you going on your game.”
The biggest smile he’d seen yet broke across Jackson’s face, and he danced around Carter as they walked to the living room where he had a desktop set up.
“I got really good at the game; wait until I show you.”
Carter created a profile for Jacks on the computer and then watched him sign in to the game with deliberate keystrokes, tongue caught between his teeth. An animated screen appeared, and Carter had zero desire to figure out the game that so entranced his little brother. But after settling down on the sofa and listening to Jacks’s satisfied “Yes!” and cheers, it was clear at least he was having a good time.
Carter opened his laptop and attempted to work on the new Chop to It account, but his mind refused to concentrate on salads and juices. How could it, when he wondered what Reed was doing tonight and if he had started seeing someone else yet. The thought of someone else touching him, never mind fucking him, nearly blinded him with a wave of pain so strong he physically felt it in his chest. The screen blurred before his eyes, and he wanted to throw up. What the fuck was wrong with him? It had never been difficult to walk away from any other man without a second thought. But Reed was nothing like any other man.
Different from his usual pick-ups, Reed had neither the swagger of the sexually confident serial clubber nor the polished appearance of the urbane, Upper East Side sophisticate Carter typically bedded. But none set his blood on fire like Reed did, his sleepy golden eyes heavy with lust as he took Carter deep inside his body, or gazing up at him from his knees while he sucked Carter off, his glistening lips wrapped around Carter’s cock.
What Reed had said to him in his office was the truth: Reed was by far a better man than Carter and much less of a coward. But fuck it, he had reasons. Reed couldn’t know the fruits of Carter’s three-year-long journey sat in front of a computer tonight having the time of his life. None of that would have been accomplished if Carter hadn’t been there every step of the way, being there for Jacks, protecting him, and always loving him.
Jacks’s brilliant smile alone made every sacrifice worthwhile.
An hour later, Carter shut his laptop and stretched. “Okay, buddy boy, time for bed.”
Usually amiable, Jacks scowled. “Not yet. I’m still playing.”
Remembering what Jacks’s doctor and Helen had said, that defiance was normal and even good for Jacks, Carter remained firm yet calm. “It’s a school night, and we both need to get some sleep. Say good night, and you’ll see everyone tomorrow.”
Jacks stuck out his lower lip in a pout. “We were in the middle of something.”
The full conversations he and Jacks now had disconcerted Carter a bit; Jacks had gone from mostly silent and agreeable to talkative and recalcitrant. Carter understood testing limits came naturally to a child and wondered if this was a precursor to the rebellious teenage years. He gazed longingly at his liquor cabinet.
