We pull to a stop in front of one of the cutest little houses I have ever seen. Situated back on 40 acres off a dirt road, the brick house has white shutters and a small white porch. A few rocking chairs sway back and forth in the heavy winds as they pick up speed. A crop of corn grows behind the house. A large black barn sits at the far end. I look to the left and notice Noah’s truck parked in front of a large outhouse building, which, oddly, is almost larger than the house in front of me.
“You ready for this?” Gwen asks exiting the car.
“Ready as I will ever be,” I whisper more to myself than her as I grab the door handle and step out into the Kentucky evening. A small face appears in the screen door watching us. I smile remembering the little girl we met earlier. Gwen and I slowly walk up the steps coming to a stop in front of the door and notice the little girl’s smile grow bigger as she rocks back and forth a few times on her feet.
“Anna May, leave these young ladies alone,” an older woman’s voice calls out from somewhere inside the house.
“Hello again,” I manage. “Did we come at a bad time?”
“Baby, you’re fine,” Noah’s mom smiles. “I was just telling Noah you stopped by earlier. He’s just right inside. Noah company here to see you, honey,” she yells over her shoulder.
A brown haired woman steps around the corner towards us as Noah’s mother opens the screen door and ushers us inside. The new woman smiles as she leans against the wall to the right and puts one hand on her hip. Her other holds a wine glass. Under her scrutiny, I feel extremely small and begin to second guess every motive that brought me here. Gwen tenses at my side as she watches the woman we have never met before stare us down.
“I’m sorry, where are my manners? You remember Anna May? This is her mother, Jolene. Noah’s sister. Noah Ryan! Don’t be rude.” Noah’s mother yells once again over her shoulder.
I smile softly at her as a tall figure comes into focus behind her. My breath hitches as he comes a few steps closer. The room begins to spin, and with it, so does my stomach. I look down briefly at the ground before raising my gaze back up to meet his. Tears threaten to break free because all I want right now is to run into his arms. To hold him and be held by him. But, from the look he’s giving me, it’s probably the last thing I should do. Maybe this whole idea of showing up on his doorstep was the stupidest plan ever. I should never have listened to Gwen.
“Hi,” I whisper. Unable to find a better greeting than one word. I shift my weight on my feet as I take in his haunted stare. He doesn’t say anything. It isn’t long before everyone in the room starts to grow uneasy. Anna May breaks the silence.
“I picked strawberries earlier with MeeMaw,” she says. “I don’t like strawberries, but momma makes me eat them. Want to see them?” The little girl asks jumping up and down.
“Anna May, why don’t we go into the kitchen with your momma and this young lady’s friend, and give her and Uncle Noah a minute, okay?” Noah’s mother says obviously catching onto the mounting tension between the two of us.
Anna May isn’t having it though. She begins tugging on my arm and swaying back and forth. “Promise you’ll see my picture before you leave? And the strawberries, too?”
I look down at her little face and smile. “I promise.” I say as I look back up and into the eyes of a man who seems so guarded, so distant, it scares me.
Anna May grabs ahold of Gwen’s hand. “Come on! I’ll show you first!” She pulls Gwen in the direction of the back of the house. Noah’s mother follows, and shortly after, having given me a dagger of a smile - so does his sister, Jolene. Now alone, Noah and I stare at one another as an uneasy feeling builds like static between us. I start to speak, but stop. I shift on my feet and look at the ground. Glancing back up, I stare into his eyes pleading for him to open up to me. Quickly, he walks towards me, but just as I swear he might reach out, he shoots past without a touch and barrels through the front door. Following quickly, I find him descending the few steps off the porch.
“Noah! Where are you going?” I begin to yell. Noah comes to a stop and turns around. The look he gives me makes me falter on the bottom step and come to a halt. A few raindrops start to fall. The wind whips viciously around us as we stand in the driveway fixated on one another.
“I..” I begin to stutter, and then suddenly stop.
He looks at me like it pains him to see me. Like he wants me to speak, but yet still not say a word. His face fills with sadness and begins to harden as a few more drops fall from the sky. His jaw clenches as he stands a few feet from me and looks me up and down. Taking me in with a madness I have never seen before, a fire builds in his eyes as they raise once more to meet mine. My eyes well over with tears. I don’t try to stop a few that break free and run down my cheek. His eyes darken. He gives me a pleading look, and then quickly glances away. When he looks back, the fire once again replaces his hardened stare as he takes a few steps towards me and forcefully grabs the back of my neck pulling me into him.
I gasp as he rests his lips seconds away from touching mine, our breaths quicken. Seconds drag, feeling more like minutes, while I wait, wanting him to claim my lips with his own. I close my eyes. Then open them when his grip starts to loosen on the back of my neck. My eyes grow wide as he backs away. His hand drops to his side, making my skin grow cold from where he pulled me close. He rests his head against mine as a few more tears fall from my eyes. I sob a little leaning against him. His eyes raise once more to meet my stare.
He holds still for a moment before saying, “I’m sorry. I can’t.” Then he releases me completely and races across the driveway toward his truck.
“Noah!” I yell out behind him, but it’s no use. His sad eyes meet mine for a brief moment before his foot hits the pedal and he speeds out of the driveway and down the gravel road. I hear the screen door open and close behind me as I release another sob and the rain begins to fall harder. I watch, heartbroken, as dirt flies up from his truck tires.
“There are a lot of things about my brother you don’t understand,” Jolene says.
I timidly turn to meet her stare, unsure of her intentions after such a comment. I have a brother and know all too well how these encounters typically go. I’m sure she’s about to let me have it. After what I have put her brother through, whatever she has to say is probably well deserved.
“The way I see it, I’ve got two options,” Jolene says as she takes a few steps toward me. I tense slightly, not exactly sure if I am ready to hear what she has to say. “I can hate your guts and plot each and every way I intend to make you pay for whatever happened between the two of you, or,” A sympathetic smile spreads across her face as she links her arm through mine and gives it a tug to follow her up the steps. “I can help you. Because Lord knows sister, you need it. If you’ve been half of the lovesick puppy he’s been acting like, which I’m guessing you have been since you followed his sorry ass all the way to Kentucky, then there is only one thing to do. And that is to find a way to get you two kids to stop acting so stupid.”
She pushes the screen door open and ushers me back inside Noah’s mother’s house. We walk down a hallway and take a right into the kitchen. Jolene heads to the fridge as Noah’s mother looks up at me from making dinner with Anna May. Gwen is standing with them, mixing something together in a dish, and laughing at a remark the four-year-old has just made. Jolene returns to my side and hands me a wine glass. Gesturing towards the small kitchen table, I follow her and sit down.
“So, Eva,” Jolene starts as I take a sip of the sweet wine before glancing up to meet her stare. “I’ve already heard his take. Tell me, how’d you meet my brother?”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Noah
“You’re an idiot. The fire marshal would have totally shut that place down no matter what,” Rex says to Cash as I stare out of the fire station on Main Street to the cars passing by.
“All I am saying is they don’t have no place to go.” Cash argues back. “The city should do something. Lots of those people don’t have the money to try and find another place to live. What are they supposed to do?”
