Cash’s feet forcibly hit the treadmill he is running on as he breathlessly tries to make a point Rex could honestly care less about. Normally, I’d be more into the debate over whether or not it was right one of the largest local apartment complexes was just condemned, but after what and who I left standing on the steps of my mother’s house a little over an hour ago, I don’t have it in me to argue either side right now. Their conversation fades into a blur as I try and wrap my head around the fact that Eva is here, in Kentucky, at my house - and I just ran away from her like a scared stupid son-of-a-bitch.
“Earth to Noah.” Rex says, bringing me out of my nightmare. “Dude, what the hell is up with you? You’ve been acting strange since you got here.”
The scanner goes off in the distance and we all stop to hear the call. A couple still moments later, we all relax a little when we realize the station across town is the one being alerted. I don’t exactly know what to say. Especially in the presence of Cash. Rex, maybe. But the mess I made which suddenly followed me across the country is not something I want to share with a guy I am just getting to know since taking a job at the station almost a month ago. No matter how well we hit it off and became friends.
“I’m fine,” I say, leaning back in my chair and stretching, trying my best to act nonchalant. Cash hits the end of his workout, slows his run to a walk, and steps off of the machine. Grabbing a nearby towel, he heads off towards the showers leaving Rex and me alone in the bay, obviously fully aware of a conversation he’s not welcome in.
“I call bullshit,” Rex says as the door to the building closes. “You showed up here after just getting off a few hours before. I mean hell, don’t lie to me and tell me you don’t have something better to do because we both know you’d be full of shit. Whatever happened to that redhead that was rubbing a little too close to you the other night at the bar?”
I shake my head and look out at the street once again. “It isn’t that redhead that I am thinking about. It’s another one that showed up at my mom’s house earlier with a blonde I thought I’d never see again!”
Expecting some sort of surprise response from Rex, I am confused when he doesn’t say a word. I look back to see him only staring at me with a smug smile.
“I thought trouble wasn’t blowing in until tonight. The girls must have caught an earlier flight.” Rex says making my head spin. “Don’t tell me you weren’t happy to see her?”
“You knew?” I demand.
“Of course, I knew. Someone had to tell the duo how they could find you. Besides, you’d be lying if you tried to tell me you hadn’t been secretly wanting her to show up anyways.”
Played by a guy I trusted most, I debate kicking his ass until I realize - he’s right. Sure, ever since I left California I had nights where I’d wake up in a damn cold sweat from a nightmare I couldn’t shake. Much like last night. But fuck, seeing her today made me realize I can’t let her back in. Not when she might walk away again. I barely lived through that the first time. It would kill me to lose her twice.
“I didn’t want her coming here asshole,” I yell, but Rex doesn’t even flinch. “Stay the fuck out of it Rex.”
Rex laughs, “Maybe you should come down off your high horse country boy. There might be more to this whole story than you think. You might actually thank your dumb ass for actually listening if you do.”
“The only thing I need to know is when is she leaving? End of story. I told you, I had to let her go. Hell, letting go does not equal letting her back in, idiot.”
Rex nods a few times, then says, “One of these days you’re going to regret this, you know that.”
Snorting, I look away and out across the street and stare at all the cars coming and going and I wonder for a brief moment if maybe Rex is right. But he can’t be. Fool me once and all that bullshit. I’ll be damned if I will let her do to me again what I swore I’d never allow a few years back after Becky.
“Nah,” I say as my hateful glare takes in a couple across the street. A couple who is so in love they are oblivious to the world around them. “I think this is one time you’re going to be wrong. That girl should have stayed in California. I’ve got nothing left to say to her.”
Rex slaps his hand against my back as he walks away. “I’ll remember you said that. I’ve heard eating crow can be a bitch.”
“Something you would know better than me you ass.”
He laughs as the station door closes behind him.
Remember I said that? Hell, he can write it down, record it, I don’t give a shit. There is nothing that will ever make me change my mind. As much as I’ve lost sleep the last few months since leaving her behind, there is no way I am about to let a woman back in my life that only puts herself first. I’d still be willing to bend over backward if she hadn’t knocked me to my fucking senses.
I thought letting her go would be easy. But months later, it still stings. Letting her back in would only end up hurting me more. It’s a chance I am not willing to take. Not even if she did follow me across the country weeks, months later. I bet her dream didn’t work out. It was only an interview after all. I bet they didn’t want her, and so she thought she’d come crawling back to me and I’d just open up and let her back in and let her walk all over me again.
Like hell, I will. Lesson learned. This is one time I refuse to be made to look like an idiot. Every day it has become easier to live life without her. In time I won’t need her. In time, she’ll only be a memory. Walking away is the smartest choice I ever made. It will take time, but I’ll make sure I forget. And when I do, she’ll thank me.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Noah
“Man, I’m telling you, the Dodgers don’t stand a chance if the Giants sign Bryce Harper. It would be a death match every damn game, even with Kershaw pitching,” I overhear Cash say to Rex Friday night over a few beers at one of our favorite downtown dive bars.
“You’re full of shit,” Rex laughs. “Harper or not, have you seen that kid Buehler. He’s even one of your own, straight out of Lexington. Thought you bled blue Montgomery?”
“That’s basketball you dumb ass.” I stifle a laugh, and don’t correct him that people around the world bleed blue for the Dodgers, too, not just the Kentucky Wildcats. “Didn’t say I was a San Fran fan. I just think that would seal the deal on any World Series for a long ass time. Not that your Dodgers have even been able to seal the deal there in the last few years. Harper or not.”
I laugh as Rex huffs off in the direction of the bar. “That was cold man,” I say to Cash once Rex is out of earshot.
Shrugging once, Cash lifts his beer to his lips and smiles. “He’s such an easy target,” Cash says. “Doesn’t take much to ruffle his feathers.”
