“Yes, I do.” Briefly, Rupert shared about what had happened with Eleanor, watching his brother’s eyes round as he spoke. “I did not tell her about the letter I received that day, however.”
His brother frowned. “So whatdidyou say?”
Rupert hung his head.
“Pray do not tell me that you said nothing to her?” Preston exclaimed as Rupert hushed him quietly, his gaze darting leftand right, afraid of being overheard. “You did not simply leave without explanation?”
“To my shame, I did.”
“But why?”
Rupert threw up his hands. “I was in a great commotion of upset and worry! The letter threw me into a state of shock, and I could not eventhinkabout Eleanor! Do not think for a moment that my heart feels anything less for her or that my intentions were not true and determined… but I could not go to her. I could not tell her of what had happened.”
“Because you thought she would be horrified by it?” There was a hardness in his brother’s voice now. “You did not trust her?”
Rupert blinked. “I did not think that it was about trust.”
“Yes, it was.” Preston’s eyes had sharpened, striking hard at Rupert. “You were unfair to her, Finchley. If you truly cared for her, if you had promised her such a significant thing, then you should have taken the time even to pen a note to her to explainsomethingof the situation.”
Rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, Rupert shook his head. “I could not. Even if she agreed to wed me still, I could not be sure that the threat would have faded by the time our wedding took place. Someone could have discovered all and whispered about it, ruining everything. I could not bring her into a place where she might find herself in just as much difficulty as I, where she too might endure censure for the rest of her days.”
After a few moments of considering this, his brother’s expression softened. “I suppose I can understand that,” he agreed, as Rupert dropped his hand back to his side. “You sought to protect her by stepping away from her, and that, I can see, was the right thing to do. But all the same, you should have saidsomethingto her instead of leaving her alone and without any understanding of what you were doing or why!”
“I regret deeply that I did not.”
“And this is why you are downcast,” his brother finished, as Rupert looked away. “You wish to go to her and yet you stay back from her, filled with regret as you have only just said.”
“With an overwhelming shame that I cannot shake,” Rupert added, ruefully. “One that I fully accept I must bear, one that I understand is mine to cling to.”
Lord Preston let out a slow breath, his lips bunching for a few moments. “Well, what is it you intend to do?”
Rupert frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You intend to stay in London, yes? Or will you return to your estate?”
Scrubbing one hand over his face, Rupert let air hiss through his teeth. “I want very much to stay in London. Not because of her, but because I realize that I must move away from her and because I must find a suitable match. That is my duty.”
“Good. You will have to speak to her, however.”
A knot tied itself in his throat.
“You cannot simply avoid her and continue in this silence,” his brother continued, firmly. “You must tell her the truth – or as much of it as you wish to share – and apologise for your abrupt departure.”
Rupert shook his head. “I cannot. As far as thetonknows, we are not yet acquainted.”
“Then write to her.”
Opening his mouth to find an excuse for this, Rupert was forced to snap it shut again, seeing there was no reason he could not.
“You may go through a good many sheets of parchment before you are contented with what you have written, but you must do so, all the same. You have always been a gentleman with a steady conscience, and I am quite sure that part of the reason for your struggle is because youknowyou must speak with her…you simply do not wish to because of the pain you have not only caused her but also keep within your own heart.”
Rupert’s lips twisted as he studied his brother, wondering just how it could be that he was so very insightful.
“I know you well,” came the response, as if he had been able to read Rupert’s thoughts. “Be assured, that will bring you some comfort.” He looked away, hesitating, then returned his gaze to Rupert. “Are you quite certain there is no hope of reconciliation?”
Remembering just how cold her eyes had been, how she had made no step towards him but had only held his gaze, Rupert shook his head. “No, there is nothing between us now. I have injured her too greatly for there to be any sort of repair, I am quite sure of that.”
“Then I am sorry.” Putting his hand on Rupert’s shoulder, Lord Preston looked back at him. “And I apologize for being a little harsh. I do not mean to speak with any cruelty but – ”
