I nodded slowly. “I love what I do. And…I mean, you have your master’s, and you’re still teaching general ed.”
“Well, yeah, but I plan on transferring to something else once I have my Ph.D.” He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Is teaching just burning you out?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. I just…” I sat up straighter. “I’m tired of living like I’m the one making the world go round. I want to teach children, and I love the ones I have, but I can’t help wondering how much I might have missed while working so hard for this next degree that I’m realizing I don’t even want.” As I spoke, I thought back to Mrs. Allen’s text. Jade had gotten into the choir on her own, but last summer, I was convinced she wouldn’t be able to do any of it without me. What else might I have been wrong about?
“Okay, well…” He scratched his head. “I mean, if that’s what you really want…”
I smiled. “It really is.”
“Well, good for you then.” He nodded. “You deserve to be happy, Jessie. Whatever you do.”
“Thanks.” I took a deep breath. “Hey, I’m going to go get another drink. You want one?”
He stood. “Let me get it. What do you want?”
By the time he got back with our drinks, he looked a lot less worried, and that made me feel better. As for dates, this one had had an interesting beginning. And I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about that.
“Now that you have all this free time,” he said as he handed me my drink, “what do you think you’ll do with it?”
I took a long sip of my caffeinated pumpkin goodness and thought for a moment. “My mom always said we’re made to serve in ways that bring us joy. I think maybe I’d like to find those ways without trying so hard to plan them.”
“Well, then,” he said, raising his cup, “to new horizons.”
I met his toast.And finding,I added in my head,where those horizons are meant to be.
39
Live
Derrick
Ismiled as my sister’s face flashed on the screen. I could tell she was trying to poke the buttons on the phone by the way her brows were furrowed. Hopefully, she wouldn’t hang up on me. Getting video chats connected was hard enough here. I’d only successfully gotten three through in the three months I’d been deployed, and I would need to be heading to work soon.
“Jade,” I called softly, trying not to wake the sleeping guy across the room, “what are you doing with Mom’s phone?”
“Bored,” Jade replied, as though this should be obvious.
“Girlie, you just had a birthday. You shouldn’t be bored with the millions of presents people sent you.” And millions was hardly an understatement. From the pictures Mom had sent me, our extended family, particularly on my dad’s side, had sent Jade a pile of gifts that nearly made the dining room table beneath it invisible.
“Everyone’s gone.”
“Everyone is not gone,” Mom’s voice came over the phone as her face appeared behind Jade’s. “And you’re not supposed to have this until your homework is done.”
Jade rolled her eyes and handed the phone to my mom, and I couldn’t help chuckling. “Did she turn seven or seventeen?”
“This attitude is partly your fault, you know.” My mom gave me the evil eye. “She got used to having someone to play with twenty-four seven this summer, and now she thinks she’s desolate if no one is there to entertain her at the drop of a hat.”
“She’s probably lonely.” I shifted on my cot. “At least I could go play with the neighborhood kids when I was her age.”
“She’s got school, therapy, choir, and Sunday school, so she’s not abandoned completely.”
“You’re still taking her to church?” I sat up straighter. “That’s awesome.” My heart leaped as I inwardly rejoiced for my family. Was it possible my parents weren’t doing the easy thing for once?
Of course, with the thought of church came other thoughts, thoughts about the pixie-like creature who sang on the worship team. But no, Jade had nothing to do with that. She was going to Sunday school, and I would simply be grateful for that.
“But we’re not here to talk about Jade’s playdate schedule,” Mom said, rousing me from my thoughts. “I want to hear about you. How is it over there?”
“It’s cold, actually.” I laughed softly. “You wouldn’t think so with me being in the desert and all.”
