“Are you warm enough?”
I shrugged and looked at my surroundings. “I’m currently in a real building, so I can’t complain too much.” I glanced at my watch. “Unfortunately, I’ve got to go soon. I’ve got work starting in about half an hour.”
My mom was strangely silent for a moment, long enough for me to wonder if she’d heard me.
“Mom?”
“I’m here. I’m sorry, I was just thinking…” She sighed. “Dad isn’t here right now, but he and I were talking the other day, and we…Well, we just want you to know we’re proud of you.”
I stared at my phone screen. Had I heard that right, or was the phone freezing up again and garbling all the words?
“I know we haven’t said it enough,” she said, looking down. “And I know we haven’t shown it. It’s just that I never pictured my sweet baby boy in camouflage with a gun.”
I looked down at my uniform and brushed away a few crumbs from breakfast. “I usually carry a wrench instead of a gun, if that makes you feel better.”
“But you were right,” she continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “We never stopped to ask what you wanted. And if this…if this makes you happy, then I want you to know that we support you.”
My throat was suddenly too thick to swallow, so the best I could do to nod. All my life, I’d been waiting to hear that. And now that it was mine, I wasn’t sure what to even do with it.
“Have you talked to Jessie lately?” she asked half a minute later, after a long stretch of silence. Her voice sounded hopeful, which was odd, considering I hadn’t actually told them about me and Jessie, aside from the one night we’d shared on the bridge.
“Nah.” I forced a smile. “We’re not actually together. Plus, one of my buddies said he saw her out the other day with one of the guy teachers from her school at some restaurant.”
“Oh. That’s too bad.” Then she brightened up again. “You should see some of the things she’s doing with the kids at school. They’re all going to be in a talent show, and Jade’s choir is performing!”
“Is she Thing One in a skit like I was in second grade?”
Mom laughed. “She’s going to be the fairy with the other girls. You should just see her, prancing around the house in her tutu and cowgirl boots.”
I laughed. “Well, good for her.”
“Jessie even made her choir try out for the part before she gave it to them.” My mom looked smug. “Jade was a little miffed, but in the end, she and her choir did great.” Then she paused. “Are you sure you don’t want to chat with Jessie sometime? Even if it was just to catch up? I could let her know what time of day you’re—”
“I’m sorry, Mom, but I need to get ready for work.”
Her face fell, but she gave me a tight smile. “All right then. Take care of yourself, son. I mean it.”
“I plan to, Mom. Love you. Tell Dad I love him, too.”
As soon as the connection went dead, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the familiar ache in my chest. The separation had been good for me. It forced me to think about work stuff that was in no way related to Jessie. We didn’t even wear our dress blues over here, so I didn’t have to think about the ball or the way she’d felt pressed against me in the dance, or how bright her eyes had been when she’d seen me in my uniform, like I was the only man in the world. Out here, I didn’t have to think about that at all. In fact, if I lost focus, I could make a mistake on the job and get someone killed, and that wasn’t an option. So focus was the best cure for all my ails.
But there were days, particularly slower ones, like today, when she was much harder to chase from my mind. Still, the deployment was only halfway over. By the time I got back, it would be March, and that would double the time I had to get her out of my mind before being in the same city again with her. Only this time, I wouldn’t fall prey to her charms. Because even if she refused to live her life, I would absolutely live mine.
40
All I Ask
Derrick
Iblinked in the light of the rising sun as I stepped off the plane and started my descent down the fold-up stairs that led us to the runway.
I couldn’t see my parents’ faces or my sister’s in the throng of family and friends who had come to welcome us home. Six months away, and somehow, it felt like I’d never left.
Unfortunately, that also meant that as soon as the warm, wet air that smelled like clover and sweet grass hit my face, I was also bombarded with a million memories that came springing back like a Jack in the Box that just wouldn’t close.
The deployment, while not what I would call fun and games, had been mostly uneventful. We’d had a few brushes with danger, but nothing to get over-excited about. The best part, however, had been my state of mind. I was focused on work, and when time allowed it, the long-distance college classes I’d started up again. A certain woman had been on my mind less and less, and by the end of the six-month tour, I was sure I was ready to face Little Rock again without her. But this sudden feeling of deja vu was so bad that when I finally found my family, despite knowing she wouldn’t be with them, I was surprised to find only three people instead of four.
Good grief, the woman had only been in my life for two months. It wasn’t possible for her to have taken this much of my attention and expectations, especially after I’d been deployed for three times that amount of time. It was early March, and time to be looking away from the past and to new adventures.
