“And you won’t be able to do a thing about any of it.” She took another sip of her coffee. “You like to be in control of things, don’t you?”
I laughed ruefully. “Unfortunately, I do.”
“See? We’re never really in charge of anything when you think about it. An asteroid could hit us now where we sit. The military doesn’t change that. It just makes the truth painfully obvious.”
I held my hand up. “But what about here? I’ve got so many responsibilities. It feels wrong to just…abandon them all.”
The corner of her mouth twitched. “And isn’t it possible God has other responsibilities planned for you somewhere else, too?” She glanced at her watch. “I’ve got to go. My daughter’s lesson will be over soon.” She laid her hand on my arm. “And I promise, I’m not trying to make this decision for you. I just…I think you deserve to know the truth before you throw away this opportunity forever.”
And there I sat, even more confused than before. The only thing that could wake me from my trance was the buzz of my phone, Mrs. Allen’s name flashing across the screen. Sighing, I braced myself for the worst, which I fully deserved, as I opened the text. But where I had expected a tongue lashing of sorts, I couldn’t have been more surprised.
She’ll tell you Monday when she gets to school, but I was so excited I had to tell you now. The choir director loved her. She even agreed to let Jade memorize the songs instead of reading them. She said if she passed someone up who was as good at memorizing as Jade with such a sweet smile, she’d better quit her job now.
This text was followed quickly by another.
I can’t thank you enough, Jessie. You’ve done more for my family than I can say. This is just another way to build Jade’s confidence, and if it hadn’t been for you and your hard work, I never even would have considered it. So…thank you.
I stared at the text, trying to decide how to respond. But the longer I thought about it, the more it hit me. Sure, I’d worked with Jade. But I’d gotten busy with school. Honestly, it had been almost two weeks since Jade and I had practiced. Sure, maybe I’d talked to the top parent about giving Jade an alternative way to join. That was my job, though, to find ways for my students to participate in the world using their personal strengths. Whatever Jade had done to get on that choir had been her doing. Not mine.
“Jessie?”
I stood and forced myself to smile at the sound of Sam’s voice. He was all grins as he came and sat down across from me.
As always, he was smartly dressed, a perfect blend of muted style and practicality. His hair was slightly rumpled, and his glasses were oddly endearing, and as he swam regularly, his form wasn’t anything to sneeze at. In fact, if I looked around now, I’d probably find a few women glancing his way a second time.
“Hey, I was thinking Tex Mex, but this’ll work, too.” He grinned. “Can I get you a coffee?”
I forced a smile and held up my empty cup. “No, thanks. I’ve already had one.”
Sam got himself a drink and then came to join me.
“I have to say,” he blushed slightly, “I’ve been pretty excited about tonight. I should have done this a long time ago.”
“I’m excited, too.” I tried to take a swig of coffee, only to remember that I was out. Dang it. I should have gotten another one. “I’m in the need of a little fun.”
“Yeah, you’ve buried yourself in projects since the start of school. I’m not surprised you need a break. Especially with all that studying and degree paperwork, too.”
“Mm. Yeah, that was kind of intentional.” I wished greatly I had the courage to tell the truth. Yes, I’d been buried in projects. Because projects meant keeping my mind on my own world and away from the one across the sea.
He looked away. “That makes sense.” A long moment passed before he spoke again, and I couldn’t help thinking that he was hearing the double-meaning behind my words.
“So,” he finally said, taking a long sip and leaning back. “How is your mom?”
Ah, a safer topic of discussion. “She’s doing well, thanks. We’re not out of the woods yet, but the recent tests have all been good.”
“Glad to hear it.” He poured a packet of sugar in his coffee. I’d never understood that. It wasn’t like you could actually taste the sugar by itself. Cream was needed for true enjoyment. “What about your paperwork? Are you all set to start classes in the spring?” His eyes were bright, and he leaned forward slightly.
I twirled my empty cup in circles on the table. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”
“Oh?”
“I…” I cleared my throat. “I don’t think I’m going to pursue my master’s right now.”
He blinked at me. “You mean…you’re quitting?”
I laughed nervously. “I don’t know if you can count it as quitting if I never actually started.”
“I just…I know you wanted this so much. Are you sure about this?”
