Still, when I looked back on those memories, I found myself wondering if I’d had a bit of a crush on my stepbrother without realizing it. Tall, dark, and handsome was definitely my type and I had years of boyfriends to prove it. And it’s not like Cole and I wereactuallyrelated.
I shook my head, going back to my packing. There was no point in really thinking about it though. Cole wasn’t into guys, and hedefinitelywasn’t into me. In fact, most days I was pretty sure he wanted to rearrange my front teeth instead of looking at me.
Maybe the loneliness of being in Hell Creek was finally getting to me. I didn’t really miss Derek, but I did miss having someone to sleep next to… someone tofuck. I could download all the apps I wanted, but there was nobody for me in Hell Creek.
I let out a long sigh, glancing down at my right hand. “I guess it’s just you and me, buddy.” Then I looked at my left. “And maybe you can join in too, stranger.”
God, I felt pathetic.
Chapter 11
Jesse
It was well before dawn when I was roused from my sleep by a deep voice and a hand on my shoulder.
“Jesse. Get up,” the voice grunted in the dark. “The cattle are waitin’.”
“What’re you talking about, Derek?” I asked, still half asleep and dreaming of simpler days. “C’mere.”
Grabbing my boyfriend’s hand, I pulled him into bed with me. His body was heavy on the mattress, making it creak, but I didn’t care. I just wrapped an arm around his waist and snuggled close, my leg snaking between his. I leaned forward, kissing the back of his neck. “Just a few more minutes.”
There was a long pause and for a moment I thought I’d made the entire thing up. Then the warmth against me shifted.
“Jesse. Let me go.”
Now that I thought about it, something about that voice didn’t sound like Derek. It was too deep.
“Jesse. Wake up.”
I cracked one eye open, seeing the mass of dark hair in front of me. And beyond it the same wallpapered walls of my childhood bedroom. The gears in my brain finally started toturn. Derek wasn’t here in Hell Creek. We’d been broken up for over two months now. So, who was in my bed?
“Will you let go of me, Jesse?”
Oh my god. It was Cole.
I released him like I’d been burned, scrambling backward until I hit the headboard. The room was still dark, but I could make out Cole’s silhouette as he stood up quickly, adjusting his shirt. His face was beet red.
“Fuck,” I muttered, mortification washing over me in waves. “Cole, I’m so sorry. I was dreaming?—”
“Get dressed,” he cut me off, his voice tight. “We’re burnin’ daylight.”
He moved toward the door with quick steps but paused in the doorway. Even in the dim light, I could see how rigid his shoulders were, the tension radiating off him in waves.
“And Jesse?” he added without turning around.
“Yeah?”
“That never happened.”
The door closed behind him with a soft click, leaving me alone with my humiliation. I flopped back onto my pillow, covering my face with both hands.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I whispered into my palms.
Had I really just pulled my stepbrother into bed and kissed his neck? I groaned, replaying the moment in my mind. I’d even put my leg between his. And my cock was still rock hard from sleep. There was no way he didn’t feel that with nothing but a sheet between us.Jesus Christ. If Cole hadn’t been uncomfortable around me before, he sure as hell would be now. Good thing I didn’t grind on him like I used to in order to wake up Derek.
Or had I? I couldn’t remember.
I forced myself to get up, fumbling for the lamp on my nightstand. The clock read half past four. No wonder it wasstill pitch-black outside. With clumsy fingers, I pulled on the warmest clothes I could find. I put on thermal underwear beneath jeans, three layers of shirts topped with the old fleece, and thick wool socks. My body moved on autopilot while my mind kept circling back to the mortifying encounter.
