What must Cole be thinking right now? That I’d done it on purpose? That I was coming onto him? The thought made my stomach twist. I’d spent so much time trying to prove I could be professional, that I could work with him despite our history, and now this.
By the time I made it downstairs, Evelyn was already in the kitchen, packing food into saddlebags. Cole was nowhere to be seen.
“Morning, dear,” she said, glancing up at me. “Coffee’s hot.”
I poured myself a mug, wrapping my hands around it for warmth. “Where’s Cole?”
“Already in the barn, getting the horses ready.” She studied my face. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Just tired,” I lied, taking a sip of the scalding coffee. “Not used to these early mornings yet.”
Evelyn didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t push. “Eat something before you go,” she said, sliding a plate of eggs and bacon toward me. “You’ll need your strength today.”
I forced down a few bites, though my stomach was in knots. Outside, I could hear the ranch hands gathering, their voices carrying through the pre-dawn stillness. Time was running out on my ability to hide in the kitchen.
“You can’t avoid him forever,” Evelyn said softly, her knowing gaze making me squirm in my seat.
I swallowed hard, nearly choking on my eggs. “I’m not avoiding anyone.”
“Sure you’re not.” She turned back to packing the saddlebags. “That’s why you’ve been staring at your plate like it’s the most fascinating thing in Montana.”
I set my fork down with a sigh. I trusted Evelyn. I knew I could talk to her about anything. “I just made things really awkward, Evelyn.”
“With Cole?” She didn’t even look surprised. “What’d you do this time?”
“Something stupid.” I rubbed my face, feeling the stubble I hadn’t bothered to shave. “He came to wake me up and I was half-asleep and thought he was... someone else.”
Evelyn’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh boy.”
“Yeah.” I drained my coffee, wishing it was something stronger. “And now I have to spend three days on the mountain with him sharing a tent.”
She patted my shoulder. “You boys have survived worse. I’m sure he’s already forgotten about it.”
Cole? Forget things? Right.
The cold hit me like a slap as I stepped outside. The sky was still dark, stars visible between patches of gathering clouds. My breath clouded in front of me as I made my way to the barn, each step feeling like I was walking to my own execution.
Inside, the barn was alive with activity. Ranch hands moved with practiced efficiency, checking saddles and gear. Cole stood at the far end, his back to me as he adjusted the cinch on a large chestnut horse. I recognized it as Whiskey, one of the more reliable mounts on the ranch. Next to him was a smaller bay mare I didn’t recognize.
I approached slowly, trying to formulate some kind of apology that wouldn’t make things worse. But before I could speak, Cole turned and thrust the mare’s reins toward me.
“This is Penny,” he said, his voice neutral, eyes focused somewhere over my shoulder. “She’s steady and knows the trail. Don’t yank on her and she’ll take care of you.”
I took the reins, our fingers carefully avoiding contact. “Thanks.”
Cole gave a curt nod, still not meeting my gaze. “We’re heading out in five. Check your saddle bags and make sure everything’s secure.”
With that, he turned and walked away, calling out instructions to the other hands. I stood there with Penny’s reins in my hand, feeling like an idiot. So, this was how it was going to be. Polite avoidance and pretending nothing had happened just like always. But maybe that was for the best.
Penny nudged my shoulder with her soft muzzle, as if sensing my discomfort. I patted her neck, grateful for the simple interaction.
“At least you’re not judging me,” I murmured, securing the saddlebags Evelyn had packed.
Mounting up was easier than I expected, muscle memory kicking in despite the years away. My body remembered the motion, the slight shift of weight as I settled into the saddle. What it didn’t remember was how hard saddles were on the ass. I shifted uncomfortably, already dreading the hours ahead.
Cole gave a sharp whistle, and the group began to move out of the barn yard. I fell in line near the back, figuring it was best to stay out of the way. The ranch hands rode with easy confidence, their bodies moving in rhythm with their horses. I tried to mimic their posture, but I wasn’t sure I was getting it totally right. I probably looked more like a fraud than ever.
The sky was just beginning to lighten as we rode out, a thin gray line appearing on the horizon. The mountains loomed ahead, dark silhouettes against the predawn sky. I kept my eyes fixed on them, focusing on staying upright in the saddle ratherthan on Cole’s broad shoulders a few riders ahead of me. Was it the exhaustion and the loneliness or did he look more handsome than usual?
