Unprepared for that bit of honesty, I glanced down and started fiddling with a button on my shirt. His attraction to me wasn't secret. I could sense it. It also wasn't one-sided. There was an energy between us that hummed, waiting for one of us to rev it into life.
"It's funny…I dropped Simon when I found out about him and Lissa, and not soon after that I heard he was seeing Sofia. So we inadvertently had a crossover there," I softly remarked. "I don't think anything happened with Sofia while he was also sleeping with me –"
"It didn't. Believe me, I also had a front-row seat in seeing their courtship. They used to annoy each other but I guess spending so much time together, something was bound to happen. It was around that time that Barron and Eden were about to be married."
I gave a puff of laughter as another unfortunate memory arose. "Now that you mention it, I saw a little spark between them. Simon had invited me to Eden and Barron's engagement party as his plus one." I waved my hand dismissively. "Oh, I know he only did it because he felt bad that he was ditching me that night. But I knew something was going on. Suffice to say, I wasn't very nice about it. Eden and Barron probably don't have a great opinion of me," I shrugged.
"Eh, well, who are they to judge? Barron cheated; Simon slept with your best friend; I fucked up a good thing with you…we were all asses."
I swore my heart skipped a beat at his last statement. He slipped it in there so casually but by the puppy dog look he was giving me, he hoped I would pick up his bone.
I glanced at my nails again. "Well, when you put it like that..."
I knew without looking that a broad smile crowded his face.
A beat passed before he cleared his throat. "Maria," he haltingly started. "I have a feeling that if I don't say something now, I'll leave here and never hear from you again."
I stared at him blankly. He wasn't wrong, but I didn't think he required a response.
"Do you remember our last conversation? How it ended?"
I glanced at the clock on the wall. He’d been here for over thirty minutes now. I honestly thought we would be having words before I kicked him out. "Err…I said a lot of things to you that day. I was pretty pissed."
He nodded, not at all put out by my response. "Before you walked out, you told me I had unresolved issues related to the death of my wife."
My expression cleared, and I nodded. "Ah, yes, I think I told you that I didn't want to deal with your issues." My face reddened. "That's not exactly what I meant, and I'm sorry it came out that way."
"No, no. You were right. You didn't quite say it like that, you were actually a lot more generous to me than I deserved."
Generous. That word had never been used to describe me.
"I was still holding onto a lot of pain over my wife's death. A lot of unresolved emotions that I was redirecting into relationships that weren't healthy for me."
My eyes widened, and I dropped my stare from his. My throat tightened as his words rang a familiarity that hit home.
"My mother-in-law suggested grief counseling a few months after Hannah's death, but I dismissed it. When you told me that you thought I needed help to deal with my grief over my wife's death, it finally resonated with me." He took a deep breath. "I've been seeing a therapist for over a month now."
I didn't think; I just instinctively moved quickly across to him and sat down. Reaching over, I gripped his hand, ignoring the familiar spark that flowed between us. I focused on giving him my support.
"Brian, that's amazing. I know that step was hard."
He blew a breath as he shifted his hand around so our palms gripped each other. I knew it was a sneaky move on his part to touch me more intimately, but I decided to give him a pass. "You have no idea."
"Actually, I do." At his inquisitive stare, I raised my other hand. "Fellow person in therapy here."
He laughed, shaking his head. "I should've known. You're a lot more sensible and put together than I am."
"You have no idea," I drolled, and we smiled stupidly at each other.
Awareness lanced through me as I became conscious of how close we were. His scent filled my nostrils, clouding my head with his addictive aroma. His eyes were hooded as his gaze fixated on my mouth. I slipped my hand from his, noting a small resistance on his behalf before he finally released me.
I cleared my throat before subtly inching away from his inviting body heat. "So, ah, how are you finding it?"
"Really fucking good," he enthused, surprising me. "I wish I'd done it sooner."
"You have to be ready for it. Sometimes, it takes hitting rock bottom until you realize you need help.Believeme, I know."
He tilted his head, curiosity written across his handsome face. "But you're finding it useful?" I was relieved he didn't pry.
