Simon was out of my life. I'd never been friends with Sofia and her crew. And after tonight, I couldn't see a path where Brian and I would need to communicate again.
The thought made my jaw clench.
"I'm making it your business. Seriously, Maria, I'm an open book—ask me anything."
My eyes roamed over his features. Those brown eyes pleading at me to indulge him, that firm mouth that was tightly drawn, waiting for my response.
That annoying curiosity poked up again.
"Did Simon or Sofia tell you anything more about our relationship?"
He shook his head. "No. Just that you two used to be a casual thing, and, you know, he was a dick. Sofia seemed annoyed at him. Not because he used to be with you, but I felt like she didn't like how Simon behaved."
"Hmm." I examined my nails. "That sounds about right. Sofia and Eden were always nice girls. Me?" I glanced up at him, fixing him with a cool gaze that used to shred strips off a lesser opponent. "Not so much."
His brow pulled down, and I decided to push forward before he asked any questions. "Since you're friends with Sofia and Simon, let me give you a little insight into our relationship," I offered. "You know how Lissa and I used to be friends?"
His expression cleared, and he leaned back in his seat, his eyes dropping from mine. "Yeah," he rasped.
I quickly gave him a rundown of our history, explaining that Eden and Barron were high school sweethearts until Barron cheated on her with Lissa in high school. That was how I met Simon. At a year older, I was witness to Simon coaxing Barron to hook up with Lissa. Lissa had been my best friend, and I admitted to Simon that I didn't care what she or Barron did. I was loyal to Lissa at the time and was under the belief that you can't steal someone away unless they wanted to be.
Besides, I'd been infatuated with Simon. Even though he wasn't that much older than me, he felt otherworldly with his college plans and his ability to sneak alcohol. He and I fucked the second time we met, which was at a house party.
I held out my hand as Brian's eyes bulged at the tea I was giving him. It did seem salacious, but it became a lot less serious when you held it in the context that we were a bunch of immature seventeen and eighteen-year-olds. "Please don't thinkbadly about Barron. He was a young idiot and obviously Eden has forgiven him. It was a long time ago."
He shook his head. "I'm fucking stunned. Barron can barely take his eyes off Eden long enough to wipe his own ass, so the thought that he would hurt her seems impossible."
I gave a snort at his explicit visual. "Yeah, well. He didn't stay with Lissa long. Let's just say that as quickly as I got a front-row seat into their hook-up, I got one just as fast in seeing his regret at losing Eden. At the time, though, I was only a dumb kid and only cared about my friends and having sex."
He nodded. "Like, any eighteen-year-old."
I paused at his observation, knowing that my situation was a little more nuanced than a silly kid ruled by their hormones, but I didn't want to get into my personal shit.
"Anyway, Simon and I were on and off for a few years. I won't get into the history, but long story short, I found out that Simon slept with Lissa."
"Shit." His guilty stare dropped again, and I knew he was remembering his own interaction with Lissa. Brian was off the hook in that regard, though, seeing as he didn't know that Lissa and I used to be friends.
"We weren't exclusive," I stressed. "I knew he was seeing other girls, and I was also dating around because I wanted to keep my options open. But my ultimate goal was to be with Simon."
I heard rather than saw his breath expel. The hands he kept on his thighs retracted into a tight fist clench.
"What?" I quizzed.
"Huh?"
"You look pissed." I indicated to his hands which he belatedly tried to loosen.
"I'm not."
"Brian, if you're going to judge me like you did with Logan, then –"
"What? No! No, that's not what this is." He raked a hand through his hair as he leaned forward and shifted back in his seat. "I'm fucking jealous." His voice was so low I almost didn't hear him.
"What?"
He glanced at me with a tortured expression, and I was surprised at how much I wished I could sit near him. If only to pry his fingers apart.
"Maria, I'm still very much attracted to you. I know I fucked up with you, and I'm sorry. I'm not judging you at all. Believe me."
