She held out her hand. ‘You must be Ben.’
‘I am. This is our mother, Carol, and Justin’s girlfriend, Anna. How is he?’
‘Please don’t say he—’
Before Carol could finish the unspeakable sentence, the woman held up a hand to stem the flow of her words.
‘He’s hurt, but he’s going to be all right.’
Carol only heard the last words. With a stifled cry, she started to sink to the floor, only for Ben to put his arms around her and guide her to a seat. He sat beside her, and his arms around her felt like the only thing keeping her afloat in a raging sea of fear.
‘How badly hurt is he?’ Anna asked quietly.
‘He has second degree burns. A couple of broken ribs and some lacerations. A tree fell on their unit and he was burned as he tried to get one of his team out of the vehicle.’
‘The man who died?’
The liaison nodded. ‘His family is here. If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to them. I just wanted you to know Justin is all right. They’ll take you to see him as soon as possible. And if you need me for anything, I’m in the waiting room at the end of the hall.’ The woman left.
The room seemed unbearably quiet. Carol looked down at her hands. Ben’s hands were entwined with hers, holding her as if she was the only thing keeping him sane. As she looked up at his white, distraught face, she saw the boy she remembered. The boy she had lied to for all those years. The boy who had grown into a man and never forgiven her.
‘I am so, so sorry.’
Ben shook his head, looking confused. ‘None of this was your fault.’
‘I don’t mean this. I mean for lying to you for all those years. I didn’t really see it as a lie. I simply saw it as a way to survive.’
Carol was aware of Anna stiffening beside her. It didn’t matter. If Anna was going to be a part of the family, she should know this.
‘What do you mean … to survive?’ Ben asked.
‘Your father left the day he found out I was pregnant.’ Carol’s voice sounded very far away. ‘I thought we were in love, but apparently I was wrong. He never knew there were two of you. He didn’t want to know. I looked for him for a while, but he could have gone anywhere. I eventually gave up so I could focus on you. So there I was, a single mother expecting twins. I knew it was going to be hard, but it was so much harder than I ever imagined. There wasn’t much government help available to me. I had no family. My father threw me out when he heard I was pregnant. When you were about five, things were really bad for us, and I got in contact with him again. I hoped his anger might have faded or that being a grandfather might soften him. Or that my mother would want to see the two of you. But no. They still wanted nothing to do with me. Their version of morality was more important to them than me, or you.’
In the silence of the waiting room, Carol’s words flowed. The truth of the past was easier than the reality of the present.
‘I had to work two jobs just to keep a roof over our heads. I wanted to give you both a better start in life than I had, and the only way to do that was to work every hour I could.’
‘We were always looked after.’
‘By friends and other mothers who understood. But when time came for school, your birth dates were going to make it impossible for me to manage.’
Carol sensed Anna’s confusion and turned to her. ‘They were born on different days. The births were only a few minutes apart, but it was midnight.’
‘And not just any midnight,’ Ben jumped in. ‘Justin was born on July thirty-first. I was born on August first.’
Anna frowned and shook her head. ‘I don’t understand.’
Carol almost laughed. ‘School. They would have been in different years at school. But I lied. I would never have been able to cope with one at school and one not. Then, for all those years that followed, different days and times and activities. So I lied and enrolled them both at the same time. It was years ago, before much in the way of computers in a small country town with a small school. The school knew me and the twins. They didn’t check too closely.’
‘I found out when we turned seventeen and went to get driver’s licences,’ Ben said, firmly holding both Carol’s hands in his. ‘I didn’t take it well.’ He hung his head.
Carol laughed, relief and fear and years of loneliness bubbling uncontrollably out of her. Then she coughed. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh, but that was—’
‘Something of an understatement?’ Ben smiled ruefully. ‘I lost it completely. I was sixteen years old and realised I had never celebrated my birthday on the actual day. And the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I should have been in a different year at school. Instead of the youngest in the class, I would have been the oldest. And I wouldn’t have been overshadowed by my brother for all those years.’
‘I’m sorry you felt like that.’
‘It wasn’t Justin’s fault. He’s just so damned good at everything. I always felt I had to live up to his standards. And it wasn’t—isn’t—easy. But that’s on me, not you. I also couldn’t get past the fact that you lied to me for all those years. How I hated you for that.’
