‘You know, at school, he was always better than me. At everything.’ Ben’s voice was soft as if he was lost in good memories. ‘The teachers preferred him. His schoolwork was better. He always had his homework done. He was captain of the cricket team. And the footy team. He got all the girls, too.’
Despite the fear gripping her, Anna gave a short laugh. ‘I can believe that.’
‘I once heard another kid call me “the lesser Turner brother”. That made me so mad. I went to pick a fight with him, but Justin came along and pointed out that he was bigger than me.’ Ben chuckled. ‘Always the smarter one, my big brother.’
‘Not always,’ Carol said from the back seat. ‘When you sat for scholarships exams, you scored much higher than him.’
‘Did I? You never told me that.’
‘There were a lot of things I never told you. And I’m sorry for that.’
Anna could sense a message beyond mere words in Carol’s voice. She wondered what it was, but perhaps Ben understood.
Ben turned in his seat. He reached into the back of the car to touch Carol’s arm.
‘We’ll be there soon, Mum. Just hang on and don’t lose hope now.’
***
Mum. Ben had called her ‘Mum’. For a few joyous moments, Carol almost forgot about Justin. Forgot about their desperate race to the hospital. Forgot about the fire and what it might have done. All she could hear was Ben saying that word for the first time since he was a boy. Her eyes filled with tears as Ben removed his hand from her arm and turned back to face the road.
Maybe there was hope for that reconciliation she so desired. Maybe her boys would welcome her back into their lives and they would be a family again.
But Justin …
What if he was badly hurt? What if he died? The thought tore a great hole through her heart. If she lost him, them, without being reconciled, she would not be able to bear it. The only thing that had kept her going through all these long, lonely years was the belief that one day they would be reconciled. They would be a family again. If that didn’t happen …
She turned her face to the window, so Anna wouldn’t see her tears in the rear-view mirror. Outside, the trees lining the motorway had given way to frequent houses. The traffic was heavier now and their progress slower. Carol wanted to scream at those other drivers to get out of the way, they had to get to Justin quickly. But in a dark, hidden part of her soul, she wanted this journey to never end, because until they got to the hospital, there was always hope.
When they turned off the freeway, they slowed even further as they drove through suburban streets before they reached the hospital. Anna found a park and, as they leaped from the car, Anna’s phone alert beeped. They stopped as she unlocked it and scrolled through the screen. Watching her face, Carol felt her heart stop beating. Her legs started to buckle.
‘The news says one of the firefighters has … died.’ Anna’s voice broke.
‘Do they give his name?’ Ben sounded almost like the small, frightened boy Carol remembered.
‘No. Come on.’
The three of them dashed towards the hospital entrance and darted through the main doors.
The receptionist took one look at Ben’s sweat- and soot-stained uniform. ‘Intensive care. Level three. The lifts are over there.’
They followed her pointing finger. The lift descended at a snail’s pace and when the door opened, several people were inside. Carol stood back to let them out and was suddenly fearful of stepping inside.
‘Come on, Carol.’ Anna held out her hand.
Carol clutched it like a lifeline. She held her breath as they rose to the third floor.
The receptionist must have phoned ahead, because a nurse was already approaching when the doors opened. ‘Please come this way,’ she said before anyone could ask the questions that were tearing at their souls. She led the three of them to a small, empty, waiting room.
‘The doctor will be right with you.’ And she was gone.
Carol took a step as if to follow her, but Anna’s grip on her hand tightened. ‘They know we’re here. I’m sure they’ll tell us what’s happening as soon as they can.’
‘There should be an RFS liaison,’ Ben said. ‘If there is a fatality, there is always someone to be with the family.’
‘Perhaps that’s where they are,’ Anna said in a remarkably calm voice. ‘With the other family.’
Hope flared for an instant in Carol’s heart, only to be dashed when the door opened and a woman entered the room, her face showing no emotion. The uniform she wore was not a nurse’s uniform.
