“Then close your ears because I’m about to rant about it.” Callie leaps up as Sandra Bullock’s character barges straight into Ryan Reynolds’s character, unleashing chaos.
Once the actors stop shouting at one another, Calliepops up from the couch. “I need to pee real quick. I’ll be right back.”
She heads toward the front bathroom around the corner, and I don’t miss the fact that she snagged her phone off the couch too.
I pause the movie and glance in Olivia’s direction. “What do you think that’s all about?”
“Don’t look at me. I love the woman, but I don’t always understand her.”
A sharp knock cuts through the sound of the rain, and I groan as Bella’s head shoots up. I have to grab her to keep her from lunging off the couch and ripping her stitches. She still has about a week until she can get them out.
As I walk toward the door, I wonder who could possibly be showing up on my porch right now. All the cowboys should be out in the fields.
I slip off the couch, and pad toward the door, swinging it open to find a damp Jax, wincing. “Hey, Freckles.”
“Jax.”
A flood of conflicting thoughts whirl in my mind at the sight of him. I want to fly into his arms and assure him that I’m here for him, just like I’ve been planning to all along, but there’s also a part of me that wants to run far away and protect my heart from that golden smile that’s flashing on his face.
He wrings his hands together. “We need to talk.”
I glance back at Olivia, and she gives me a nod, taking Bella from my arms. I know that’s her way of telling meyou have to try.
“Yeah, we do.” I join him on the covered porch, closing the door behind me and crossing my arms. The rain patters insistently on the roof overhead.
“I screwed up. I’ve been keeping things from you, andit’s not fair. I’m really sorry.” There’s pain in his eyes as his brows pinch together. “I thought I was doing the right thing, but all I was doing was hurting us both.”
“I hate that you pushed me away, and I’m not the same girl I used to be.” I have to raise my voice a little to be heard over the pounding of the rain all around us. “I’m not going to wallow and think that it has to do with me not being enough. I’m going to recognize my worth. I’m going to recognizeourworth and fight for us. You don’t get to push me away when things get too hard.” I drop my shoulders, realizing they’ve been creeping toward my ears as my frustration builds. “You don’t get to do all these wonderful things that make me think we’re moving forward and then pull back. You need to open up to me. I want to help. I?—”
He grabs both my hands, pressing them between our chests. The action makes me melt back into him. Between the anger and hope mixing in my chest and the fact that I’m so close to Jax that I can smell the familiar scent of oak on him, my heart is pounding.
I wrangle my feelings back in, going rigid. I want to give us a chance, but he doesn’t get to come back and think I’m going to immediately forgive him. I want to fight for us, but I need reassurance this won’t happen again. I’m not going to be in a relationship that cycles back and forth between hot and cold. Not again. I deserve better.
“I’m sorry for being so stupid. My fear of not being enough got in the way, and I suppose my ego did too. It told me I needed to fix this problem on my own to protect everyone. I’m not perfect, and I know I never will be, but I’m going to fight like hell to be good enough for you because you deserve it.”
Thunder booms, shaking the ground. The storm is rolling in closer.
“You’re my favorite person in the whole world, and there’s no one I’d rather go through life’s ups and downs with than you. It’s always been you, Freckles. Please just give me a chance to prove it to you.”
It’s always been you.A swarm of butterflies unleashes in my stomach, but I bite my lip, trying to remain steady. “You really hurt me when you pushed me away. You acted like you didn’t believe I was enough to stand by you when life gets hard.”
“I’m sorry. You were never the problem.” I open my mouth to speak, but he presses on. “I’ve spent so much of my life hiding: how I feel for you, what happened with my dad, and the fears plaguing my mind, but I’m done hiding.” The rain picks up, pouring over the edge of the roof in dredges, but Jax’s focus doesn’t waiver from me. “Freckles, I love you with every fiber of my being. I have for years. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but I always got in my own way, just like I did over the last few days, but that’s over.”
He releases a puff of air, building more confidence. “I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen. Your kindness, your laugh, your sense of humor, your wisdom, your passion, your drive, they all immediately drew me in, and as much as I’ve tried, I haven’t been able to keep myself from falling head over heels for you. When you were with Austin, Itriedto push you away and bury my feelings, but it was pointless. My heart was made to love yours.”
My mind swirls. This is all so much to take in. Not only does Jax love me, but he apparently has for years.How did I not know?My heart aches for all the time we could’ve had together instead of suffering through the pain we’ve both endured over the last several years, but then again, I don’t think we were ready for one another any sooner. We’ve both grown a lot just in the last couple months, and we’re stillcontinuing to grow. Maybe we collided at just the right time.
“You’ve loved me for that long?” I swallow, trying to tamp down the butterflies in my stomach.
He nods, squeezing my hands. “And I’m going to do everything in my power to be worthy of you because I need you in my life more than I need air.”
The sky lights up with a flicker of light, and only a few seconds later, thunder shakes the ground. My eyes widen in shock, and Jax holds me tighter. “I already missed my chance with you once because I didn’t tell you how I felt. No more secrets, okay?” His blue eyes swirl with hope and desperation. “Anything you want to know, I’ll tell you.”
“Really?”
He nods earnestly.
Unable to hold myself back any longer, I lunge into his arms, grabbing two fistfuls of his T-shirt as I crash my lips into his.
