That place was always Ryder.
When I lay in my bed in the darkest hours of the night, curled into myself, with no hope, no future, and no change in sight, I would close my eyes and remember Ryder. My safe place wasn’t a place at all, but this incredible man that had changed my life so irrevocably.
As Ryder’s warm, soft lips moved over mine with such intimate affection, I realized I would have always come back to him.
I would never have been able to deny myself this forever. I would have eventually given into the memories and the aching of my heart.
Because it was worth it.
Ryder was worth it.
A sharp ringing sang through the quiet cab and brought reality with it. I jumped from the sudden, obnoxious ring and Ryder immediately pulled away.
His cellphone continued to scream while we stared at each other from three inches apart, both breathless and panting. My arms were still wrapped around his neck and his hands were still buried beneath the hem of my tank top.
I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, desperate to savor the taste of him for a moment longer. His eyes tracked that movement and I felt his body harden underneath my touch. He moved forward an inch before his phone stopped ringing.
The silence was almost as strong as the noise. I let out a shaking breath before jumping again when the phone started ringing a second time.
“Holy shit,” he groaned. “I’m coming. Geez.”
He retracted his hands and sunk back to his seat. I felt the loss of him immediately. I wanted nothing more than to climb into his lap and resume whatever that was.
He picked up his phone and answered it. As he said hello to his dad, I tried to calm down and return my breathing to normal.
I turned in my seat and melted into the soft upholstery. My fingers fluttered to my lips as if they were physically trying to hold the feel of Ryder’s mouth on mine for as long as they could.
I closed my eyes and let this beautiful feeling wash over me and sink into my bones.
I had missed this. I had missed it more than I knew you could miss something. And not just the physical affection from Ryder, but the trust and desire that came along with his affection.
I had been convinced I would never get to experience that again. When I made the decision to leave, I knew it was a very real possibility that I would never see Ryder again, let alone kiss him again.
I gave up everything real and substantial with him for freedom. I left him and the lovely thing that was between us so that I could get away from Nix. It had been selfish and devastating. It had destroyed me.
But in my defense, when I left him, I didn’t think a happy ending was possible, no matter what happened. We cared for each other, but eventually I would have destroyed that. Eventually, my curse would have poisoned our relationship.
Or worse, my curse would have killed him.
And if I didn’t do it, Nix would have eventually found us and finished the job himself.
“He found my passport,” Ryder declared, breaking into my thoughts.
“That’s good news,” I whispered.
“We need to meet him somewhere so I can pick it up.”
“What if Nix follows him?”
“We have a plan,” Ryder explained. “I think it will work, but if it doesn’t, then we have a backup plan.”
“Okay.”
“Ivy.” The tone of Ryder’s voice made me turn to him.
The deep rumble of his concern washed over my skin and I closed my eyes from the force of it. When I opened them, I met his silver eyes and let his presence hit me all over again like a blast of a hurricane wind or the tremor of a violent earthquake. Ryder’s attention held the strength of a natural disaster and the depth of the ocean. Whenever he focused on me completely it was a physical thing that permanently changed me.
“Yes?”
