“No,” he growled.
“Good. I’ve missed so much work—oh, mother Mary, I was supposed to be at Roy’s tonight!” I sat up in bed. If I left right then, I wouldn’t be that late.
“Roy knows you’re not coming. You need to rest, sweetheart.”
“Can you lie down with me? Just for a second.”
Luke quietly got into the bed pulled me down to his chest. He was so warm.
“Close your eyes.” His fingers traced circles on my back. “Sleep.”
Chapter 10
When I woke up on Saturday morning I knew it was late in the day. The sun shown in brightly through the un-curtained windows. Charlie’s mattress was empty, and I wandered downstairs to find everyone. I could see through the French doors leading to the back deck that he and Luke were down at the lake, so I got dressed, sat down on the couch, and fell back asleep.
The rest of the weekend passed in much the same way. Every time I sat down I fell asleep, and every time I was awake, Luke tried to force food on me. We stayed the whole weekend at his house, with me avoiding the thought of going home to Nana’s, the place where I had so thoroughly let Cassie down.
Charlie and Luke schemed about fixing his house (adding secret room under the stairs and a fort outside), buying a sailboat (a Sunfish that Charlie could learn to sail on his own), and summer fishing and camping trips. For Charlie, all the attention must have seemed like a dream, but all the plans for the future scared me to death. You never knew what was going to happen. Maybe Luke would move back to Florida next week, and where would that leave Charlie? When Luke was out of earshot, I tried to temper Charlie’s expectations, much as I had done when Mike was coming home. But it was like fighting the tide.
I didn’t end up going back to Roy’s on Saturday night either. I called him to make sure that I still had a job, and he told mehe didn’t want my sad face driving away the customers, and to come back next Thursday. Then he told me again that he was sorry about my sister and sorry for her little boy. Somewhere deep within his wiry little body, there was a soft heart.
On Saturday night, after Charlie got to sleep, I walked quietly into Luke’s guest bedroom, where he was crashing on another air mattress on the floor. “What’s wrong?” he asked quickly, sitting up on one elbow. The sheet pulled down, exposing a swath of his muscled chest and stomach.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I told him. I walked to the other side of the bed and got in, scooting over to him and putting my arms around his neck. I kissed him, and sucked on his tongue, pulling him to me as tightly as I could. Through the fabric of his boxer shorts I ran my nails up and down his hardening length, and he hissed in a breath. I slid my fingers under the band of his boxers to reach lower and stroke him, feeling a drop of wetness at his tip that I ran up and down, slowly at first, then picking up speed.
Luke leaned into me and took my breast in his hand, thumbing my nipple. I pulled away and slipped his boxer shorts down, pulling my panties off too. I reached into the pocket of my t-shirt to get a condom and slid it over him, then put my leg over his hip to pull him inside me. “Are you ready?” he asked hoarsely, reaching down to run a finger through my folds as I grasped his hips.
“Please, right now,” I told him, and he rolled on top of me, sliding inside, and pulled my shirt over my head.
“Oh, you feel good,” he said into my neck. He was moving slowly, kissing me, and gently squeezing my breasts. I needed to be close to him, even closer. I reached and held onto his ass, feeling the muscles flex and pulling him deeper.
“I’m not going to last,” he told me breathlessly.
“I don’t care,” I answered. He pounded into me then until he came, and I clasped him to me. Finally he made a movement to pull out, and I reluctantly let him go.
“Now you,” he said, and his hand moved down to finger me until I shook and cried out softly, with my face on his chest. I stayed there, pressed against him, until he cupped my face in his hands and tilted it up. “Did I hurt you? Emmy, did I hurt you?”
I reached up and felt the wetness on my cheeks. I was crying? I shook my head no, but I couldn’t seem to stop, and he pulled me back to him, using the sheet to wipe away the never-ending tears. I sobbed myself to sleep in his arms, and woke up the next morning back in the master bedroom.
Luke reluctantly agreed to let us go back home on Sunday night after another day of rest and play at his house. I had to face it sometime—there was no use running away from the truth. Martha was shocked and angry when I came back to work on Monday. “You should be home!” she told me, twitching her head. But I thought that Charlie and I should get back to our routines. And what was at home for us? Sitting on the sofa, staring at the wall? I wanted to be busy. If I stopped moving, I was filled with regrets and recriminations. I should have known. I should have done something.
I sat down that afternoon to look through the bills that had piled up, and to call the power company to discuss our imminent service disconnection. But when I called the 800 number, the representative said we were caught up—the balance was zero. In fact, I found that every bill in the scary stack I had labeled “DUE NOW!!” had been paid. The cable was back on. The funeral home said that the account had been settled. The thousands, and thousands, and thousands of dollars we owedto the hospital? That account was paid up too. Everything, every debt, was gone. The feeling of relief that flooded me almost choked me. But it couldn’t be right. I called each place I owed again, asked them to check and double check. There it was: I was suddenly solvent.
Then I called Luke, who had been summoned to his dad’s—an emergency, that turned out to be that his father had something to discuss with Luke of dire importance. “Did you pay my bills?” I asked, my voice high. “Luke, everything is paid. Did you do it?”
“You should talk to my sister,” he answered, and I heard his dad’s voice in the background, deep but querulous. “I’ll be over as soon as I can.”
My next call was to Annie, and I left her a disjointed, thankful message. If she had done this, and I thought she had, I would never be able to repay her. I was indebted to her for life, but I was so grateful. Better to be indebted to Annie and have the lights and the heat on for Charlie.
Luke came for dinner and tried to convince us to go back to his house. I thought it was important that Charlie get used to sleeping at home, in his own bed, and I didn’t think it was right for Luke to be in mine. “I’ll call you,” I said, and gave him a quick kiss as he left. “Talk to you soon.” I could see in the way he held his mouth that he was annoyed. Luke Whitaker was accustomed to getting his way.
Charlie and I got through the week. I worked in the yard, weeding, raking, picking up sticks, clearing away the debris that had hidden under the snow. I cleaned the house from top to bottom, ridding it of any last vestiges of Mike. I aired it out, opening every window and door, and I washed every piece of fabric or furniture that would fit in the washing machine and scrubbed every surface I could to vanquish the stale cigarettesmell that lingered behind him.
I saw Annie at practice on Tuesday. I thanked her again, and in a miserably embarrassed, red-faced way, I asked if we could start a payment plan for me to compensate her.
Annie was astonished. “Emily, are you kidding? You’re practically family! It was a gift, I don’t expect you to pay me!”
“It’s too much,” I told her. I knew exactly how much it had been. “I can’t accept you just paying off all my debts.”
