“That’s the pack you're destined to be in, baby. Get used to it because nothing about our lives is normal.”
“I’m starting to see that,” he comments. “I could use a little excitement in my life.”
“Come on.” I get to my feet, tossing our trash into the basket. “Let’s take a walk on the beach."
Tucker takes my hand in his and we head to where the water meets the sand.
“Are you glad it all happened?”
“With the guys?”
He nods, looking out at the water.
The sun is starting to set and the sky looks gorgeous. I kick at the sand and say, “Yeah. I mean, the way we met isn’t exactly ideal, but I’m glad it led me to where I am now. I love living here. I love my life, my pack, my pets. I have things I never dreamed of.” I smile up at him. “The best thing is, I don’t have to work anymore,” I laugh. “I spent so many years working dead-end jobs just to make ends meet, and I was never appreciated. In the end, I lost the only two people I thought were my family. Now, Ihave a bigger and better one.” I look up as the seagulls fly above us, watching as they swoop down and land on the sand. “This is what I needed. Excitement. A life that keeps me on my toes. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine, and it’s better than the life I had before.” I shrug. “What about you? What’s your story?”
“Honestly,” he laughs, “it’s kind of sad, but in a boring way.” He smiles down at me. “I had a good life, parents who loved me. I always wanted to be like my dad, a detective. For the most part, I’ve gotten pretty damn close. Growing up, I had good friends, school was great. The only time I’ve ever went off the beaten path was probably a few years ago.”
“Yeah? What happened?”
“I was a few years in, working at the NYPD, and we were on a call. Someone reported seeing their neighbor’s home getting broken into. I didn’t realize I knew the address until we pulled up to the house. I got a sick feeling in my stomach, but didn’t know why. We took all the proper precautions that we were supposed to do when we arrived. When no one came to the door, despite cars being in the driveway, we headed inside.”
Tucker’s voice softens, and I can feel the pain in it. I give his hand a squeeze, showing him my support for whatever he’s about to tell me.
“I’ll never be able to get the image out of my head,” he chokes out. “Blood everywhere, their lifeless bodies.” My heart drops as he takes a shuddering breath. “It was the wife and son of my best friend. Someone broke in and killed them.”
“Oh my god,” I gasp. “I’m so sorry.”
“That’s not even the worst part,” He huffs out a sad laugh. “Turns out, no one broke in. It was my best friend who did it. He found out his wife slept with someone at work and that his newborn baby boy wasn’t his. He lost it.” Tucker isn’t crying, but I can see he’s destroyed. Me? I’m doing everything in my power not to cry like a baby. That’s so fucked up.
“I was the one who arrested him. He begged me, pleaded with me that he was sorry, but he had to. I was numb for days, everything felt like a blur. I couldn’t get the images of their cold, bloody bodies out of my head, seeing them every time I slept. I’d have a few drinks to help me sleep, and then that lead to being drunk and high every day. Nothing too crazy, but I was in a deep depression. I took time off work, got most of these tattoos.” He points to his arms. “The pain felt therapeutic.”
“What brought you back around? Got you out of that state of mind?” Clearly he doesn’t live like that anymore.
“I was out one day, hungover as fuck, going for a walk to get more beer. I stopped to sit on a bench in the park I was using as a shortcut. I felt sick and shaky and needed a break. That's when I heard a little girl screaming. I jumped into action and ran toward the sound. A man was dragging a little girl toward a car. I knew what was happening, and I ran faster. I almost didn’t get to them in time because I was so weak and hung over, but I made it. I tackled the guy to the ground and the little girl took off running to someone nearby. The car drove off, leaving the guy behind. I realized that because I was drinking, because of how I chose to live my life at that moment, I almost missed the chance to save that little girl from being kidnapped.” He blows out a breath. “So, I got my shit together. Got sober, gave up weed, and went back to work. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.”
“Woah.” I lean my head against his arm, my heart breaking for him. “I’m proud of you.”
“For what?” He stops and I look up at him, his brows furrowed.
“You could have kept letting your pain win, but you saw that there were people out there that needed you and you got yourself better. You chose to be better for your job, a job that gave you the power to make a difference. That’s brave.”
He stares at me, his deep blue eyes locked with mine. Lifting his hand, he tucks some hair behind my ear. “You're the only person who’s ever said that to me. Thank you.”
“You're welcome.”
He licks his lips. “Can I kiss you?”
My heart races and my stomach flutters, but I shake my head. “Not until you tell Nick.”
His shoulders slump and I feel bad, but I won’t do this behind Nick’s back.
“I’ll be there with you if you want. We can tell him together, like the others.”
“I’ll think about it. I still need some time. So much has happened in such a short amount of time, I’m still adjusting to the big career changes.”
“What changes?”
“The fact that I don’t think I want to be a detective,” he admits. “All this has got me reflecting on what I truly want. I think because I wanted to be such an amazing person like my dad, I led myself to believe that I had to have the same job as him. I just enjoy being a police officer, making the world a better place. I can do that by just being a regular officer. No fancy titles needed. Also, there’s no jobs for lead detectives nearby. The nearest would be Atlanta and the commute would be a pain in the ass. Maybe that's just me making excuses, but I want to just have a nice life here."
