“I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered. “This constant push and pull with you…it has to stop.”
Kabir didn’t respond. He just continued to watch her with those wild, almost feral eyes.
“I get it okay,” she said, defeat making her shoulders slump. “You don’t want this. You don’t want me. I’ve accepted it and I’m trying to move on.” She turned away from him, heading back to the car. “Let’s just go home and face the music. I’m sure they’re waiting for us.”
“You think I don’t want you?” His voice was low, a growl of sound.
Tani froze. She didn’t turn, not daring to meet his gaze and have him retreat again. She heard him approach, felt the heat ofhis body bracket her back, his shaky breath whispering over the curve of her ear.
Kabir dropped his head to her shoulder, his forehead resting on the skin bared by her tank top, his hair gently caressing her and leaving her breathless.
“In all this time,” he whispered, “In all these years, there has only been you, Tani. In my heart, in my soul, in my veins, in the music I make, in the air I breathe…in every atom of my existence, there has only ever been you. I love you. You know I do.”
His tortured words had her heart breaking. Her hand came up, slowly, fingers lacing through his hair, gently holding him, showing him her love without saying the words that would break him.
“You love me but you won’t be with me.” Her heart was crumbling in her chest, chunks of it falling away from pain like she’d never felt before.
“How?” His voice broke before he tried again. “How can I love you and destroy you? How can I love you and break you? How can I love you and bring you down to the filth I exist in?”
“You don’t,” she replied, her voice a bare breath of sound. “You just allow me to love you like I do. If I am in every atom of your existence, Kabir Kashyap, you are the love I felt before I even knew what it meant. I have never doubted that you were meant for me. Not even when you decided I wasn’t meant for you.”
“There is no one for me but you.” His lips moved to kiss her bare skin, sending a shiver down her spine. “There never will be. Not now, and not until the day I die. Not in this lifetime, or any of the ones to follow.”
A tear streaked down her cheek, cutting a trail through the dirt and sweat of the night. “Then how can you just stand by and watch me marry another man?”
“I can do anything,” he replied, brutal truth in every word, “if it meant your happiness. I would rip my heart out and lay it at your feet for you to trample if it meant watching you smile, watching you live the life you deserve.”
“My happiness-“
“Don’t say it, Tani,” he cut her off, his voice tortured. “I can’t stand to hear you talk about dreams that can never be reality.”
She moved to turn but he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close, her back flush to his chest.
“Give me this moment, Tani, please.” His voice was a broken whisper. “Give me something to live the rest of my life with, something to hold on to when I no longer have you in my arms.”
“I would give you everything,” she said, leaning back and dropping her head on his shoulder, “if you’d just let me.”
He nuzzled his cheek against hers, the stubble rasping against her skin. “I can’t,” he rasped. “If I thought things were bad earlier, now they’re…”
“They’re?” A pang of alarm shot through her. What was he talking about? “They’re what? Are you in trouble, Kabs?”
“Shh.” His arms tightened around her, holding on for dear life. “Just one more minute.”
And because she could never deny Kabir anything, she gave him the minute, shutting up and keeping her questions to herself. For now.
Her phone rang shrilly, breaking the moment. And she pulled away from Kabir. He let her go, slicing away another piece of her heart.
“Dad,” she said, glancing down at the screen. Time to face the music. She sighed. “Let’s go home and get it over with. I’ll send him a message saying we’re on the way.”
Kabir nodded, not looking at her as he went to open the car door for her. Tani walked over, sliding in to the car and allowing him to shut the door behind her before walking around to get into the driver’s seat. Kabir had just put the car in gear when she spoke, her voice cutting through the quiet that enveloped them once again.
“Once this is done, we’re going to talk,” she said quietly. “And you’re going to tell me everything.”
“Tani, I-“
“Give me this, Kabir, please,” she echoed his words from before. “If I’m going to live the rest of my life without you, the least you can do is give me the truth.”
CHAPTER 29
