“You shut me out. You ran. You disappeared for months, Kabir. And when I finally stopped chasing you, when I finally tried to put the pieces of myself back together…” She jabbed a trembling finger at him. “Youcome back into my life claiming my boyfriend drugged me.”
Kabir opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His throat worked but it hurt too much to talk. It felt like he was swallowing glass and he welcomed it, every second of pain. It was nothing less than what he deserved.
Tani shook her head violently, tears streaking down her cheeks, her voice a raw rasp. “You think you’re the only one hurting? You think walking away from me was some noble sacrifice? You think you did something great?” She let out a harsh, broken laugh. “I don’t know what you achieved but you didn’t just ruin my life, Kabir…you ruined me.”
She took a shaky step closer, anger giving way to devastation. “And you know the worst part of it all?”
Her eyes met his, bruised and shattered. “I would’ve forgiven you. I loved you so much I… I would’ve forgiven anything.”Her voice cracked completely. “But you didn’t even ask for forgiveness.You just wanted to be gone, as far away from me as possible.”
Kabir’s chest caved in like she’d driven a blade straight into him.
He stumbled back a step, breath ragged, hands trembling at his sides. Whatever he’d been holding together inside himself, whatever flimsy, stubborn, survivalist wall he’d built, began to crumble in the face of her agony.
“Tani…” he breathed, voice wrecked. “Bug-”
“Don’t,” she whispered fiercely, cutting him off. “Don’t call me that. You don’t get to call me that anymore.”
“You don’t get to be my emergency call anymore, Kabir. You can’t be both the hero and the villain in my story. You have to choose and we both know what you chose.” Chest heaving, she faced him, her hands clenched at her sides. “So, what difference does it make to you if I’m locked up in a police station or drugged out of my mind, or lying dead in a ditch somewhere-“
Whatever else she’d been about to say, disappeared into the ether as his mouth found hers. Desperate, unforgiving, and harsh, his lips devoured hers like she was the last breath of air available to him, the broken song of his soul, the frantic beat of his heart. He kissed her like he loved her and he kissed her like he hated himself for it.
He broke away, his heart pounding as he stared into her eyes, those beautiful, hazel eyes that stalked his dreams and haunted his hopes.
“I’m sorry, I-“
This time he was the one who was cut off. Tani surged forward with a sound that was half-rage, half-sob, her fingers fisting in his hair. She yanked him down, dragging him to her like she’d stopped caring about caution or consequences or the ruin waiting for both of them on the other side.
Her mouth crashed into his, her soft lips meeting his hard fury. The salt from her tears mingled with the desperate fire of their desire for each other, only, ever for each other. Her lips moved over his like she wanted to brand him, rewrite their history, undo every moment he’d tried to push her away. She kissed him with years of precious memories, with the ache of what they could have been, and with the heartbreak of what they never were and what they never would be.
He froze for a second, just a second, caught between instinct and agony. And then he was kissing her back, hands gripping her waist like he was drowning, like she was oxygen and he had no business breathing without her. Her breath mingled with his, hot and trembling. She tasted like fury and heartbreak and forever. She promised him eternity with every desperate press of her mouth. An eternity in heaven or hell, he didn’t know…for him, when it came to Tani, it was always both.
Because loving her felt like salvation. And losing her felt like damnation. And kissing her…God…kissing her felt like willingly stepping into the fire in the pits of hell itself tinged with the promise of heaven.
And for the first time in months, Kabir didn’t stop himself. He didn’t want to. This time he let himself burn.
CHAPTER 28
TANISHA
She was drowning.
Sensation and emotion rose within her like a tide she couldn’t fight, heat, grief, longing, anger, all of it crashing, colliding, and swallowing her whole. Her fingers curled into his shirt, dragging him closer, clinging to him like he was the only solid thing left in a world that kept tilting beneath her feet.
She held on to him like she’d never let go. Because she didn’t want to. Because she never had.
Because some part of her, some foolish, stubborn, aching part, had always known she belonged exactly here, in his arms, in his space, in the complete and utter mess of him.
Her chest pressed against his, her heart thudding wildly echoing the beat of his, their breaths tangled and frantic. She kissed him like she was trying to breathe through him. Like he was the last thing she’d ever love and in every single way, he was.
A lorry thundered past them, horn blaring in vulgar, judgmental disapproval of their antics. The sound ripped through them like a gunshot. They tore apart, stumbling back and gasping. Thecool morning air rushed in, cooling flushed cheeks and bringing with it a reminder of their surroundings.
Her lips were swollen, breath shaking. His chest rose and fell like he’d sprinted miles.
Their eyes, wild and stunned, refused to look away from each other even as every instinct screamed that they should.
The world reasserted itself with cruel clarity. The impossible choices they’d just shattered. The lines they’d crossed. The people they belonged to. The promises they’d broken simply by touching.
Reality rushed in like freezing water pouring over their heads as both of them stood there, panting, tasting each other on their lips, knowing the moment was both everything they’d ever wanted and the one thing they could never afford to have.
