I hadn’t expected him to agree to meet so fast or so soon. I was hurt that he hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me who the child was on his phone screen. Hell, he hadn’t even acknowledged her.
We’d kept everything superficial, which had been fine with me at the time. I never would have known about Maddie if fate’s fucked-up sense of humor hadn’t made me her new soccer coach. I understood why he’d kept Tessa’s death and his new role as a father to himself since we’d already gotten throughenough emotional truths and reveals for one night. While it hurt that he hadn’t confided in me, imagining what he and his entire family had gone through upset me more. He’d never asked for my help once I knew, but I had a burning need to offer it anyway.
Why the need bordered on obsession was something I’d worry about later.
Me:Sure. Is 7 okay?
This time, I was the one pushing for us to talk things out, at least to prevent any awkward moments between Jesse and me that could make Maddie uncomfortable if she picked up on anything. But more than that, regardless of if it was my business, or who Jesse was or wasn’t to me anymore, I needed to know what had happened to his sister.
I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant Jesse had suggested, taking everything in on my way inside. I scanned the dining space next to the bar with various large-screen TVs hanging along the walls playing different games without sound, and I stilled when I spotted Jesse.
No man had a right to be that stunning in a simple T-shirt and jeans, and for the reasons we were meeting tonight, it shouldn’t have been the first thing I noticed. He leaned his elbows onto the table and was about to take a pull from a tall glass of what looked like beer when his gaze snagged on mine.
He set down the glass, a smile curving his lips as he popped off the high seat and came over to me.
“Hey, Em.”
I felt more than heard his raspy greeting over the din of the small crowd, yelling at something happening on one of the screens.
We stared at each other for a long minute, that same lump from earlier today scratching at the back of my throat.
“Hey. Thanks for inviting me.”
I’d noticed the extra layer of stubble covering his cheeks earlier today, and had tried to ignore how it’d made him even more attractive, if that was possible. I held back a laugh, remembering how he and Caden had tried and failed to grow goatees in high school.
But he’d been a boy then. Now, he was a man with a life and struggles that I had no idea about. I’d come here tonight to learn more and not just tell him how sorry I was about a thousand more times, although, at the moment, that was all I had.
“Have a seat.” He gestured to the chair across the table. “I waited for you to order. I’ve only been here once, but the burgers are good, unless you’re on a soccer diet.”
I laughed at the smirk tipping up the side of his mouth and climbed into the seat.
“I’m only coaching, not playing. I won’t put the kids through the same drills I had to suffer through in high school and college. It’s less about building muscle than making sure my team doesn’t destroy the field.”
My smile deepened despite myself as Jesse chuckled.
“I can enjoy a burger tonight with no worries.”
“I told the waitress a high table was fine, but if you’d rather a booth?—”
“No, I’m good here.” I set my purse down at the end of the table. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“Thanks for reaching out. I was surprised that you still had my cell phone number.”
I laughed as I picked up a menu.
“Full disclosure, I deleted your number during my first semester of college.” I sent him a sheepish grin. “I read your number off the team roster. I shouldn’t have used a parent’s cell phone for personal reasons, but…” I stilled, not sure how toexplain the burning need I’d had to talk again. “I was concerned about you. All of you.”
Jesse shut his eyes and nodded. “I know you probably have a lot of questions.”
“I do, and most of them are none of my business, I’m sure, so feel free to tell me that. But what I’m not understanding the most is why you didn’t just tell me about Maddie when we went to the diner, especially since you asked me for the purpose of talking things out.”
He propped his elbow on the table and rubbed at his temple.
“You’re absolutely right. I didn’t bring up Maddie or Tessa because I felt that we had enough emotions to get through for one night. After I dropped you off, I was relieved, yet exhausted.”
“Same,” I agreed. “I didn’t know if you were married or a single dad or what. And, honestly, I didn’t have the guts to ask.”
“I sweated it out a little when it looked like you were going to.” He let out a nervous laugh. “We ended up in a nice place,” he said with a shrug. “At least, I thought so. I wanted to take you home and hold on to the good from that night. And if I’m being honest…” he started, darting his eyes away from mine.
