“How about, I’m sorry I was a jerk and busy with my pity party, but I want you to talk to me about what happened to you? Or something like that.”
“Pity party?” He squinted at me with his arms folded.
“Yeah, your three-month-long pity party. It would be nice to finally see you leave, big brother.” I patted his knee before rising from the bench.
He stood and held out his hand.
“I’ll walk you to your car.” He crushed me to his chest when I stood. “You’re a little shit all right, but I wouldn’t have you any other way.”
34
Danielle
“Lift your leg.”My eyes darted to Jack’s then quickly focused on his leg. It was long enough to glimpse the discomfort in his gaze. Gone was the easy rapport, the friendly flirting, the candy dates, and the scorching kisses. Now, our conversations were stunted and all business, neither of us knowing how to be in each other’s presence after the fight we’d had.
After this last session, anything I’d had with Jack would be done and over. He’d head home and finish healing, and we’d part ways. It would be the best thing for both of us.
He wasn’t even gone yet, and I already missed him. He was still very much the boy I remembered and adored, but that sweet, funny guy had grown into a gorgeous man with a determination I’d never seen before. He’d come such a long way since he’d first arrived, and I was so proud of him. As much as I tried to compartmentalize it as a therapist’s pride for her patient’s progress, it was so much more than that. Jack came into this place broken, angry, and terrified. Would he be able to return to the fire department? There were no guarantees, but I had no doubt he’d keep fighting. He had too much heart. He had a wonderful heart—a heart I couldn’t accept. All the things he’d said were spot on. Iwasa coward.
Jack still had a long way to go, but his body was strong and solid. Memories of that hard body pressed against mine, the soft but virile groans erupting from his throat when he’d deepen our kiss, the passion making us forget ourselves for a little while. Now, he wouldn’t spare me a single glance as I tested the dexterity of his leg, bending and raising it while gauging his face for any signs of pain. He chewed on his full, soft bottom lip that I knew tasted as good as it looked. The moments I’d gotten lost in his beautiful mouth as it moved against mine played over and over in my brain on a bittersweet repeat reel. Jack had been honest and never pulled any punches about what he meant or what he wanted. He’d said he wantedme, but while I hadn’t doubted his sincerity, the doubts I’d had about myself and how that could ever really be true were deafening—and I couldn’t hear anything else.
“You’ve made amazing progress, Jack. How are you feeling today?” The smile faded from my lips as his cold gaze met mine. I wasn’t his cheerleader or even his friend anymore. Once I signed this final assessment form, I wouldn’t be his therapist, either. All ties would be cut, as if I hadn’t severed the most important ones already. The friendship, the all-consuming attraction with the thrilling promise of more, the looking forward to something each day. All already gone.
“I’m fine,” he said as his gaze stumbled on mine but darted away. “This is it, right?”
Setting down his leg, I nodded as the sting of his words caused my chest to tighten. My hand shook as I filled out the rest of the forms.
“Yes, it is, Jack.”
He nodded as the corners of his mouth turned down in a frown. He seemed to hate saying goodbye as much as I did, but we had to. Things had already gone too far. I grabbed the folder on my desk, blinking away the unshed tears so Jack wouldn’t see.
“Here is the prescription for the outpatient physical therapist. Whichever one you choose should have no problem following along with the instructions. If they have any issues, they can call me—”
“Got it.” Jack grabbed the paper, still not meeting my eyes. “That’s it? We’re …” He swallowed—the Adam’s apple I loved running my tongue over bobbing up and down. “We’re done?”
Again, all I could do is nod. “We are. Good luck, Jack.”
He finally lifted his blue eyes to mine. They were still warm and bottomless and all I wanted to do was to get lost in them again. To revel in the hunger and want I’d seen reflected back at me. So many words dangled, unsaid, between us. His pride had taken a beating after our fight, as had mine.
He slid off the table, and I yearned to leap into his arms as I begged his forgiveness, but I couldn’t. I needed to detox from Jack, no matter how much it broke my heart.
Despite everything, I wanted him to ask me again. I wanted him to push me to give us a chance. I’d dreaded losing Jack and even planned for it, but in no way was I prepared for it. Standing before him, the long minute our gazes locked felt like hours.
Ask me again, Jack.
His eyes bore into mine, his mouth opening to say something then shutting with a fierce shake of his head. “Thanks, Danielle. I hope … well, I hope someday you can let go of whatever’s holding you back. You deserve more out of life than the scraps of it you let yourself have.”
The air drained from my lungs as Jack walked away from me. I was frozen and unable to do anything but watch him leave.
* * *
Imanaged to make it home at a decent hour for a change, clueless as to what the hell to do with myself. I dug into my purse for my phone and dialed my brother.
“Hey Dani!” Kyle’s incredulous laugh boomed in my ear. “You’re calling me? To what do I owe this honor.”
“Well, you’ll be happy to know I’m home, not at work … but I fucked up. Can we go get a drink or pizza or something?”
“How about both? Meet you at Rudy’s in twenty?”
