One minute, I’d been in Dylan’s arms wondering how life could possibly be this good, and the next, my universe had imploded. I knew my father would freak out at the notion of Dylan and me together, but actuallyseeingus together, the all too recent memory of it made my stomach roll over.
I don’t even know my own daughter anymore.
Dad had always been overprotective and unreasonable when it came to me. Did it frustrate me? Sure, but there was so much pride and love in his eyes, I could never get mad at him for it. Now, there was disappointment and disgust when we made dodgy eye contact, and I hadn’t figured out how to process that. My father’s love had been a warm blanket that wrapped around me my entire life. Ever since the awful turn of events, I was ice cold even in the late August heat.
Going for a drive with a friend or having coffee at Tommy’s wouldn’t soothe me. It would only highlight how terrible everything truly was. I had to remove myself from everyone and everything that would remind me how much I’d screwed up. I was sure my brother would note the same thing, but I didn’t care. Jack was always the first one I wanted whenever I was hurt, sometimes even more than my parents. There was no Band-Aid or ice pack that would help anything, but here I was. He was the only one I wanted, and the only one who could make this horrible catastrophe better.
I’d texted Jack when I arrived at the rehab center and waited for him in the courtyard. The last time I’d come here, Dylan and I left, tense yet relieved, that Jack knew about us. I knew my brother well enough to know he’d let Dylan have it later on, but I never doubted Jack would come around eventually. Dad seemed like a lost cause, and if I lost Dylan, too, all this hurt would be for nothing. Maybe running away would have been the safer bet.
“You know I’m coming home tomorrow, right?” A wry, but sad grin lifted my brother’s more stubbled than usual cheeks. “The long drive up here now doesn’t make any sense, Peege.” He settled next to me and grabbed my hand.
Of course, he already knew. Dad probably called him right away and reamed him for not saying anything.
I nodded, the sobs I’d managed to finally stop yesterday afternoon now choking me. All Jack had to do was tilt his head before I collapsed onto his chest.
“It’s all right,” he whispered before resting his chin on top of my head. “It’s okay, baby sister. Now that they all know, everything will get settled.”
I pushed off his chest, wiping away my tears with the back of my hand. “It’s going to take a long ass time to work up to settled. Dad can’t even look at me. You were right, I should have told them before they caught us. I just … knew Dad would react this way. Although, telling him and having him find—”
“Please,” he groaned and held up his hand. “I already have an all too vivid picture in my head from Mom and Dad. You’re … grown up now. We all still think of you as a little baby, and that’s our issue. Was having Dylan sleep in your room with them not home smart? No … but I’m not innocent, either. I just had the luck of not getting caught.”
“I guess but—” My head jerked back on a delayed reaction. “Who did you sneak in?”
Jack rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh. “Marina, in our senior year of high school, on and off. Back then, I had possibilities so she was all too happy to do it.” Something was weighing on my brother. His hair was a mess, and he hadn’t shaved in days, but the most telling was his vacant stare as he turned toward me.
“You still have possibilities now. You don’t even have crutches anymore, and look how amazing you’re walking. Plus, didn’t you say you and your therapist …”
“Not anymore.” He stiffened and leaned back on the bench, jutting his chin to the side entrance. “That’s her.”
I strained my eyes to see a pretty, tall brunette adjusting a woman’s wheelchair. Her smile was warm as she straightened and tucked in the loose wisps of her ponytail behind her ear.
“She’s pretty.”
Jack sucked in his bottom lip as he nodded. He hadn’t seemed this sad and dejected after Marina broke it off. Back then, he was more angry than sad, about everything.
“She is,” he whispered. “I thought we had something, but she only felt sorry for me. She never gave me a straight answer about what would happen with us after I left.”
“I doubt that, Jack. I’m sure she sees patients a lot worse off than you and doesn’t give them the … special treatment you told me you had.” I elbowed his side. “Maybe she’s scared about something. Didn’t you say she was divorced? Was it really bad?”
“Fuck knows. She never told me anything about it. I pretty much poured my heart out to her about everything on an almost daily basis and she never gave any details about her own life.”
“Did you ever come out and ask her?” I cocked my head to the side, chuckling at a rare moment of my brother being speechless. “Well, maybe you should. I’m not the only one in this family who’s a stubborn little shit as you like to call me.”
His chest shook with a laugh. “You’ll always be my stubborn little shit. I know it makes no sense, and maybe it has to do with the accident and how Marina blew me off, but we had this … connection. In fact, what I feel for her is much stronger than … well, my feelings for anyone. I didn’t imagine it. We got into an argument the other day, and she’s rushed my discharge so I can leave. I said some awful things to her.” Jack dropped his gaze to the ground and kicked a rock back and forth along the concrete.
“That’s another thing we share. Passionate people say stupid things in the heat of the moment. I threatened to move out the other day, even packed a bag. Dad threw it across my bedroom and told us we’d lost our minds. Dylan was the only voice of reason. Well, Dylan and Mom. He’s really following Mom’s request to take a break,” I scoffed.
Jack barked out a laugh. “Peege, do you really think after everything, Dylan is going to bail on you? No way. It all may still give me the creeps, if I’m telling the truth, but he loves you. I know that much. He’s letting everyone cool off.”
“Maybe. I don’t know, Jack; everything is all messed up.”
“I know,” he whispered and scooted closer. “Soon this will be a distant memory. Maybe we all won’t laugh about it or anything, but you’ll move past it. I’m sure of it.”
I let a smile curve my lips for the first time since my parents had come back from the Poconos.
“And I think if you listen to Danielle,reallylisten, you’ll figure out why she’s so scared.”
“What do I even say?” He breathed out and raked his hands through his messy hair.
