“Hey,” Jack whispered and grabbed my hands. A crinkle ran along his blond brow as he studied me. “Don’t get spooked on me now.” A sad smile ghosted his lips before they found my forehead. “I meant what I said. I don’t want this to end.”
“I don’t either.” I rested my temple against his chin, wishing it didn’t feel so damn inevitable that it would.
We said goodnight after a few more desperate kisses. Jack went back to his room to clean up, and I stumbled back to my office on wobbly legs. My head spun and my heart pounded as my entire system went into turmoil. Yet, at the same time, I felt an odd satisfaction. That hollow feeling I’d become so accustomed to didn’t seem so gaping anymore. Something filled it. Or someone.
“Burning the midnight oil?”
I stilled before stepping into my office as Dev snickered from behind me. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up at the … something … in his voice. Accusation? Amusement? Either way, I didn’t like it. Sucking in a deep breath, I lifted my chin to meet his gaze.
“I’m always here late. Problem?”
Dev crossed his arms and closed the space between us before leaning into the doorjamb. “I didn’t think your new job description included cleaning out the closets after hours. Is Jack Taylor the first patient you’ve messed around with, or is this your pattern?” He strutted up to me, holding my gaze as I willed myself not to panic. “Danielle Marsh isn’t so frigid after all.”
“Get to the point, Dev,” I spit. “I don’t know what you think you saw—”
“I saw two people coming out of a closet, who at least had the foresight to not walk out together. Wouldn’t Kathryn love to know where her star therapist does her best sessions.” His eyebrows jumped as he leaned in even closer.
“I was showing him the resistance bands he needed to purchase upon his release in a couple of days. Not that it’s any of your business. Jack Taylor is my patient. My job was to get him back on his feet, and now, my job is done. He’s nothing more to me, and I don’t intend to ever see him again once I sign him out, so stop trying to create an issue.”
A sickening laugh bubbled out of his chest before he shook his head at me. “Shame, I bet he could have loosened you up a little. You’re so stiff, I’m surprised you haven’t broken in half yet.” Dev backed away and turned toward the exit. My hand flew to my chest as I breathed out a deep sigh of relief.
“Nothing more to you?” Jack’s voice made me jump. My head spun around toward his icy glare as he came closer.
“What? Where did you come from?” I blinked away the shock as I studied his soft lips, still swollen from our kisses not fifteen minutes ago, twisted in a sneer.
“I came to remind you to text me when you got home since it’s late. I had to hold myself back from pummeling that asshole for calling you frigid, but I guess I don’t need to since we’re nothing, right?”
My hand dragged down my face as I fought to hold in a frustrated wail. I’d thought I had one problem handled—or handled for now—but my temporary solution opened an ugly can of worms.
“Dev is a troublemaker. I turned him down a couple of times and got the promotion he wanted. Messing around with a patient could get me into a lot of trouble, and he’d love nothing more than to throw me to the wolves. I needed to make a good enough denial for him to back off.”
“Denial.” Jack nodded and sucked in his bottom lip. “That sounded pretty resolute to me. Your job was to get me back on my feet, and now you’re done, right?” He shrugged, shooting me a nasty glare I’d never seen from him. “I was just acaseto you: a sad asshole with no job or prospects to go back to, so you felt sorry for me. That’s why you never gave me a straight answer about what would happen between us after I get out.” He moved closer, his face twisted in so much anger I almost didn’t recognize him.
“That’s not why—that’s not true,” I stammered as I watched Jack grow even more furious. This was all my fault. I’d led him to believe we were more, that we werereal. Even though it felt that way, I knew deep down it could never be. He was looking for a lifeline, not a girlfriend.
“Once you get out, things will be different. You’re using me as a crutch but are too damn stubborn to admit it. My life is here. Yours isn’t.” I turned to go but before I could run, Jack grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back.
“Trust me, I know this place is your life. Yourwholefucking life. Do you even have any friends? What are you so afraid of? We don’t fit into your perfectly controlled little life. I used to think you were the bravest and toughest woman I knew, but you’re nothing but a coward,”
I flinched, the sting of his words burning my skin as if I’d been slapped. “I’m not a coward. You don’t know a damn thing about—”
“Because you’ve never told me anything!” he roared, looming over me in a rage. “I tell youeverything. How afraid I am to leave here to find out I don’t know who the fuck I am if I’m not a firefighter, how I’m so disposable that my girlfriend broke up with me before I was even out of anesthesia. I fought to get stronger for you, because I thought you believed in me. But you were just doing your job, right? I’m no one to you, and I never was.”
I sucked in a shaky breath, his words gutting me so much my vision blurred with tears. “Do you think you’re the only one that’s been blindsided? That had to start all over again and felt worthless every damn day no matter how deep you try to drown in work? Stop being so goddamn self-absorbed, and grow up,” I spit through gritted teeth. “Not everyone can heal. Some wounds are too deep.”
Jack’s scowl melted into confusion, his icy blue eyes softening as he reached out to grab my hand. I yanked it away from his grasp and turned back to my office.
“I’ll finish the paperwork tonight and scan it over. I’ll schedule your final exam, and you can leave right away. Goodnight, Jack.” I slammed the door behind me and collapsed onto my desk in sobs.
33
PJ
DYLAN:Are you okay?
I sighed at the twentieth text Dylan sent me in three days, with the same three words. Typing out a quick yes, I threw my phone into my purse. It was out of true concern, and he was staying away at my mother’s request, but I hated it. I loathed being treated like a child by all the men in my life. Dylan swore no matter what happened, he wouldn’t stop fighting for me and fighting for us.
Then, why did I feel so alone?
