Nothing was stopping me from having dinner or dating or meeting new people, except an ache deep inside for the man I never thought I’d have to live without. Keeping his side of the bed empty didn’t make him any less gone, but filling it meant he was never coming back. It was a sick logic that made no sense in my head, but nothing could convince my still-broken heart otherwise.
The waitress came back to take our order. I wracked my brain for a change in subject.
“Speak to Mom?”
Kate nodded with a frown. “Nice segue. Yeah, last week. Are you going to continue the ‘you’re too much of a big shot to call your own mother’ conversation?”
“Nope.” I laughed and shook my head. “Although you could call her a little more, Katie.”
“Oh, really?” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Have you spoken to Dad?”
I let out a long sigh and nodded.
“Point taken.”
“He worries about you so much.” Kate’s voice softened as her lips pursed.
I shrugged in reply and dropped my gaze to the menu in front of me.
“You’ve carried on this silly grudge long enough, don’t you think?” Kate reached across the table and squeezed my hand until I lifted my head. “It’s time to let it go, EJ.”
“It’s nice to see a smile on your faces for a change.” My mother grinned as she sat beside me on the couch.
I turned to Jack as he gripped my hand next to me. He cocked a dark blond brow, and I nodded back. “Well, for a change, we have some good news. I’m pregnant.”
A stunned silence spread over my parents’ living room. Mom pressed her palm against her chest as Dad stiffened in his recliner. Instead of being happy for us, he looked heartbroken—and it wasn’t difficult to figure out why. Jack’s leukemia was already in the late stages. “I never wanted this for you, EJ,” was all he could say to me before choking up in the past few weeks. I offered him my biggest smile, but he looked away.
“That is fantastic!” My sister rushed over and tackled us both with a hug. “And lucky. When Jack starts chemo, he could be—anyway; I think this is perfect timing! Congrats, guys!” My eyes clouded at Kate and met her watery smile. She kissed my forehead and cupped Jack’s cheek. She hated this for me, too, but I loved her for ignoring it for my sake.
“Thanks, Katie.” Jack’s lips spread into a relieved smile as he leaned forward and kissed Kate’s cheek. “You’re exactly right; that’s why before I started anything, we saw a fertility doctor. For once, we had luck. It only took one—”
“You did this on purpose?” My father roared at Jack as he stormed toward the couch.
“We both did!” I screamed back at my father. “We wanted a baby before this, so it shouldn’t be a surprise.”
Dad dragged his hand down his face and glared at us. “Jack is in the late stages of leukemia. They told you the chemo has a ten percent shot of working. Now you’re . . . EJ, do you have any idea what you’ve gotten yourself into? Taking care of a sick husband—pregnant—and raising a child alone?”
I sprang from the couch as my eyes narrowed to slits at my father. “Yes. I. Do. I’m having a child with my husband. We didn’t ask for the shitty hand we were dealt, but I’ll be fucking damned if leukemia takes everything away from us.”
“Ella-Jane!” Mom gasped. “He’s . . . concerned. We all are. This is a lot to take in right now.”
“Your married daughter is pregnant. What’s the problem?” Hot, angry tears dropped off my cheek.
Mom sighed and shook her head. “It’s not that simple, sweetie. And you know it.” Her voice cracked as she bit her lip.
“Jack,” Dad’s booming voice was barely a whisper. “I’ve always loved you like a son. But to do this, knowing what you’re up against, it’s selfish.”
“Selfish? To want to have a baby with his wife?” I willed my crying to cease so I could yell back at my father.
“EJ, you’re a smart girl. But this was a thoughtless thing to do, for both of you.”
“Wait just a minute.” Jack’s jaw clenched as he glared at my father. “There is nothing ‘thoughtless’ about any of this. We wanted a baby for a long time, and yeah, we know the risks, but at this stage of the game, we’d rather risk than regret. I love your daughter more than anything in this world, and I’m going to fight like hell to be there for them both.”
“But . . .” Dad bit his lip as his eyes clouded, “More likely than not, you won’t be—whether or not the both of you are thinking about that right now. Who will help her when she’s all alone?”
“Do you really think I didn’t consider everything? That I don’t know how much the odds are against us?” My nostrils flared as I fought the urge to take my mother’s crystal vase off her shelf and bash it against the wall. “You will not take away the last piece of happiness we have. I don’t need help.”
I marched up to my father, refusing to take in the sorrow in his eyes. I was too angry to accept any kind of pity.
