“EJ . . .” Dad pleaded as he reached for my arm. I gritted my teeth as I jerked out of his grasp.
My father let out a long sigh as he shook his head. “I’m so worried about you. You think you considered everything, but I really don’t think you have—”
“Like I said.” I glowered at Dad before I turned toward my husband, and held in a guttural sob as I took in the anguish on his face. Oh no, he wouldnotfeel anything less than happy today. We could cry a thousand days after this, or however many he had left.
“I . . .we .. . don’t need your help.”
I pulled Jack off the couch and bolted out of the house. Cries of my name from my mother and sister only made me run faster to the car. I stepped in the passenger side and slammed the door.
It was oddly quiet in the car. Being married to Jack, moments of silence were few and far between. He swiped at the tears dripping down his cheeks with the back of his hand as he took in a deep breath. My husband put on a brave front with everyone—except me. I saw all his fear, all his anguish, and how planning for a future he may not be a part of tormented his soul.
“Ellie, baby, I’m so sorry. This is so much on you. Your dad is right. I didn’t think—”
“NO!” I yelled into the darkness. “I wanted this. I knew the risks; I’m tougher than everyone thinks. I’ll take care of you and our baby, and it will be a privilege, not a burden. If they don’t want to get on board, it’s their loss.” I rubbed his back, and he leaned against me.
“You need your family, especially now.”
“I don’t need anyone but you.” I took his hand and pressed it against my belly. “And junior in there.” I winked and spied the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile.
Jack laughed and brushed my lips with his. “I know you’re tough, my fierce little pixie. I don’t want to leave you, either of you. God, I love you so much.”
I flung my arms around his neck as he cried into my shoulder.
My mother ran to my house the next day full of apologies. Conversations between my father and I were still awkward and forced. It was almost funny to watch such a big man like Dad tiptoe on eggshells whenever he spoke to me. He was a wonderful grandfather, and deep down I understood his awful reaction was because he loved me. I missed the easy way things used to be between us, but I could never fully forgive him. My son was my lifeline, and he didn’t understand that. I wouldn’t have survived losing Jack if I didn’t have the piece he left behind.
Like I always did, I tiptoed into Jack’s room before I went to bed. Watching my son sleeping peacefully, his features becoming more and more like his father’s every day, was a balm on my soul. He was healthy, smart, and happy, so maybe I wasn’t screwing up the single parent thing completely.
His restful sleep took a sudden shift. Jack didn't have nightmares, at least any I’d seen, so the sight of him thrashing around in bed scared made my blood run a bit cold.
“Jack, sweetie, wake up,” I whispered as I tapped his leg.
His body jerked as his eyes popped open. “Mommy? No one was there. You left me.” Jack’s eyes were wet as his face twisted.
“It was just a dream, baby.” I climbed into bed next to him, and he cried into my shoulder. “I’d never leave you.”
“There were monsters. Like Mumm-Ra.” I sighed and shook my head. Who knew showing Jack an oldThunderCatscartoon would give my son bad dreams?
“I would fight the monsters. No problem.” I winked at Jack only to get a shrug in return.
Jack sat up and furrowed his brow. “But you’re a girl. You can’t fight monsters.”
My mouth turned up into a smirk as I shook my head. “I’m a mom. We’re the toughest monster slayers in the world. Plus, Mumm-Ra is easy. Show him a mirror, and he’s history. He’s afraid of his own reflection.”
“Really? That’s dumb.” Jack’s head settled back into the pillow as he let out a yawn.
“Yes.” I cuddled into Jack’s side as his breathing slowed. “I guess it was.”
My stomach twisted at my son’s words. I was a monster slayer, but I resented fighting them alone.
“HEY, GARCIA! WEneed to tie a knot. Since you’re a Scout and all, can you help a brother out?” Will snickered at me as he held up the overstuffed garbage bag. I took a fair amount of shit for signing up to be a den leader, but my nephew was so damn excited, I couldn’t say no. Family before everything, which is what I repeated like a litany whenever I had to lead a meeting after a double shift. Getting suckered into leading the Tiger Scouts wasn’t part of the plan, but I didn’t want to let the little guys down. I could take one for the team.
“If I can tie it around your mouth, absolutely.” My mouth tipped with a smirk as I strode over to Will and shoved my empty paper plate from dinner into the bag. I’d only been working in this firehouse for six months, but it was home to me. It was the same house my father worked in, and even though it hurt to see memories everywhere I looked, it gave me peace. He was the reason I wanted to be a fireman ever since I was old enough to know my name. Another Garcia was in New York Engine Company Twenty-Three, and he would’ve loved that. I was a lieutenant back in my old firehouse in Florida, but when I moved back when Dad got sick I had to start all over at the beginning with the FDNY. I’d just passed the lieutenant’s test before the transfer here from Queens finally went through.
“C’mon, the real reason you’re in it is for all the hot single moms, right? I should come help you. Be like an assistant. I’m handy.”
“Handy?” I snickered at Will. “I was impressed you figured out how to unravel the hose on the truck. You’d be dead weight in Scouts.” I shoved his arm.
“Yeah, yeah. You want all the MILFs to yourself. I get it.” Will laughed as he shook his head.
