“Nothing—absolutely nothing—has to happen.” Ryder’s eyes never left his, and Jax felt the truth in his words.
Apparently, that was exactly what he’d needed to hear.
“I’m ready; I want this, I promise.” Jax closed his eyes and blew out a breath, trying to calm his racing heart. When he opened them, Ryder hadn’t moved and there was no anger or impatience in his eyes. So Jax nodded. “I want this.”
“We’ll go slow,” Ryder murmured.
He simply nodded, then slipped his hands under Ryder’s shirt and began lifting it. Ryder smiled before shucking his shirt off himself. He hovered over Jax, but didn’t put any of his weight on Jax, so he wrapped his arms around Ryder’s neck and pulled him down.
Ryder whispered, “You sure?”
Jax nodded and sealed their lips together in a kiss. It was slow and long and deep. He poured everything he was feeling into that kiss. The jumble of emotions he felt. Gratitude for Ryder. Relief that they hadn’t taken this from him and he could share it with his mate. And joy, that his mate was who he was and for everything Jax had never let Anton take from him.
“You’re so beautiful,” Ryder whispered against Jax’s lips.
He smiled because his mate really thought so. Ryder had seen his body, even his back, the first time he’d helped clean Jax when he couldn’t shower yet with his stitches. He’d been mortified, but he remembered Ryder’s words then, even though he hadn’t believed him.
“You’re perfect; everything about you is perfect,” his mate had said.
Jax truly felt those words in this moment.
“Beautiful,” he murmured and then Ryder was skimming his lips over his skin. Jax’s head fell back at the feel of Ryder’s tongue tasting him, and he moaned when he grazed Jax’s nipples with his fingers.
Sparks shot through his body at the touch. When he grazed the other nipple, pinching it and rolling it between his fingers, all Jax could do was moan as his cock stiffened in his pants. His hand slipped into Ryder’s hair as his tongue laved his nipple.
“Ooooh,” Jax moaned.
When Ryder grabbed Jax’s nipple between his teeth and gently tugged before biting down—the sting of pain had pleasure rocking through Jax’s body. Ryder’s soothing lick a second later had precum leaking from his cock and slick from his hole.
Ryder came back up and took his lips in a kiss as his fingers began to work on Jax’s jeans. With one hand, he pushed Jax’s pants and underwear down, then pulled back to look into his eyes.
Even though he didn’t ask that time, Jax saw the question in Ryder’s eyes, so he gave a small nod. His mate’s lips curved slightly before he stole one more kiss, then moved to take the rest of Jax’s clothes off.
Ryder kept their eyes locked as he reached for his own shirt and began to peel it off. He was considerably broader and taller than Jax, but that didn’t scare him. Jax knew his mate’s strength would never be used against him.
Instead, he wanted to touch Ryder to see if his skin was as smooth as it looked. So he did. Jax sat up and trailed his hands down Ryder’s abs but stopped at the waistband of his jeans. Ryder covered his hand, and he looked up at him. “You okay?” he asked.
Jax smiled and nodded. He opened the button slowly and pulled the zip down. Damn, it sounded so loud in the room where the only other sound was their breathing.
He paused and met Ryder’s gaze. “Do you want me to finish taking it off?” Ryder asked.
Jax nodded. Ryder got off the bed and shoved down his jeans along with his briefs. He stood in front of Jax, seemingly anxious.
His mate stayed still, and for some reason, that had Jax chuckling. It was like he thought not moving would help. Wasn’t that how people dealt with wild animals?
Ryder folded his hands, and Jax fell to the side, laughing louder.
“Should I be taking this personally?” Ryder asked.
Jax straightened, and even though he should have known better, a sliver of fear coursed through him. But when he looked at Ryder, there was no anger on his face. Actually, his lips twitched and his eyes danced.
He wouldn’t have been amused if … No, Jax, don’t go there. He doesn’t exist in this moment.
“Would you touch me, please?” Jax whispered. His cheeks heated because he couldn’t voice what he actually wanted.
Ryder beamed. That was the only way to describe it. Sometimes he didn’t feel deserving of the look of awe he saw in his mate’s eyes. But each time Ryder looked at him like that, Jax believed himself worthy a little more.
Ryder bent his head and kissed him, and it felt like coming home. His fingers rubbed gentle circles into Jax’s skin as he moved his hands slowly down his chest. He broke the kiss and moved down slowly, Ryder’s mouth teasing every inch of Jax’s chest before his fingers settled on his hip.
