“Go and have a shower first,” I say, pushing Jeremy away. If we’re lucky there’ll be some warm water at the beginning. “Then you can stay under the duvet while I take a shower.”
“Another five minutes,” he says, looking up at me with those puppy eyes that make me laugh every single time.
“Okay,” I agree, because we’re not in a real hurry. We’ll be working after five p.m., but the real work won’t be before seven this evening. My uneasiness comes from the fear of Dick coming to get the money before it’s time and not caring that we still have a week to go before it’s due.
My blood becomes as cold as frozen water at the thought of what he’ll do to me, because I won’t allow him to touch Jeremy.
I met Jeremy when we both ended up in this life. I never had a choice and neither did Jeremy. He’s always looked so fragile to me, so much so that my instinct to protect him was activated the moment I saw Dick hitting him.
The way he tried to escape only enraged the bigger man more, until Jeremy was just a broken doll lying on the pavement unable to stand, whimpering and sobs filling the otherwise silent room. I learnt that day that I couldn’t escape, but I also learnt that I’m stronger than what I thought I could be.
Dick never touched Jeremy again, and things will stay that way until we’re both free.
I can’t protect him when we’re both working, but the rest of the time I can, and I will, even if it means I’ll be the broken one.
“Jerr, come on. It’s time to start getting ready, or we won’t be able to get any food.”
“I’m going, I’m going,” he says, and his head peeks out of the covers. He shivers when he gets out of bed and even more when he places his feet on the icy floor. “I wish we were in a better place.” He doesn’t wait for me to reply, and rushes over to the bathroom.
I wish that too, with all my being.
I’d take a ramshackle flat, or a shitty dump place if it was a safe place for Jerr and me. However, the extra cash I have is going towards breakfast. We need some good things in our lives once in a while.
If it weren’t for how unsafe this place is, it wouldn’t be that bad. It’s old, and everything has probably lived two or three lives too many, but it doesn’t rain inside, and we have water and electricity. Sure, a huge chunk of our well-earned money goes towards it, though, and we are only left with enough money not to die of hunger.
From the bed I hear him cursing the cold room, the shower starting, and then his sigh of pleasure when the warm water hits his body. Another curse when the warmth is gone. The thud of the shower and then the sound of Jeremy’s steps fill theotherwise silent room, and then his body covers mine under the sheets.
“Move, move… cooold.” His teeth clench together making it nearly impossible to understand what he’s saying.
I put my arms around him, and I try to warm him up by quickly rubbing my hands on his back until he stops shaking.
“Thanks.”
“Let me up,” I say, landing a kiss on the back of his head, like I would have done with my little brother.Don’t go there!I close my eyes hard and push my mind out of those muddy waters. “Get ready, so we can go. I’m starving.”
I leave him wrapped up in the covers and rush to the bathroom. My shower is an extremely fast one, because the water is coming from the Arctic, and by the time I’m out I’m nearly frozen and my skin is more bluish than pink.
I smack Jeremy’s foot when I’m back in the room to remind him that we’re in a hurry.
It takes me ten minutes to get ready and then we’re out and on our way. We walk side by side, Jeremy plastered against me while flinching away from the people around us. When you’re touched against your will every single day, you’re bound to avoid even brushing against people.
I make my body look bigger, even if I’m just slightly taller than Jeremy and just as skinny, hoping people will brush against me instead. Someone once told me that it’s all in how you appear to others. I use this technique all the time, and it has worked as no one, at least until now, has ever approached us. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because of me trying to scare people away, or because everyone can read on our skin the job we do and they prefer to stay away…
It’s different when we’re in an alley. In that dark place we’re prey, and we don’t make the rules.
We devour our sandwiches, without even talking in between bites. And we smile at each other when we finish and pat our tummies in appreciation of the food we just scoffed down.
I glance at my watch and that happiness evaporates, as does my smile. In less than an hour we’ll be at work. How I wish we could run away and disappear, but with only a couple of quid in my pocket that’s nothing but a stupid dream.
The sky’s darker when we leave Greggs, and black as the night when we arrive at the bar.
I take a deep breath and open the door, hating the ding of the bell when I do, because it’ll bring Ed here too soon.And as if I called a dog, here he is.
“Hey, boys,” he says, while his rancid breath washes over my lips.
He’s that fucking close that his dirty pores are the only thing in my vision.
He slaps one of my arse cheeks, while he does the same with Jeremy. And then, because he’s probably not happy enough, he squeezes it on the softest part, hard enough that I have to crush my teeth together so as not to cry out in pain.
