“My family disowned me after I joined the Marines.” I didn’t say it to make her feel bad; it just felt like a moment for me to let a little out into the universe as well.
“I’m sorry, Killian,” she sniffed out.
“Didn’t tell ya to make you feel bad. You aired a piece of your soul. Figured I would, too.” Easy explanation, despite it not being the whole truth. Livia was burying herself inside me, and I didn’t want to truly acknowledge it. Denial at its finest. Ever since Joel had asked if I was going to marry her in Vegas, I realized I was developing feelings for her. I wouldn’t go as far asmarryingher. We were leaving Vegas tomorrow morning after grabbing another set of cars, so no little white wedding by Elvis. But I could admit I cared about her, and now that I’ve held her body against mine, and tasted her lips on mine, there was no forgetting that.
Still not sure I wanted to officially break that dam, I thought back to being at the club with her, to hearing her gasp at my touch. My mind had gone blank; I couldn’t think of anything other than having her as mine for the night. But when she started to feel sick, everything cleared up some. I still wanted her, but what would have happened if we went back to the truck, or got a hotel room, and fucked till dawn, and then had to do business as usual? I still felt like I didn’t have anything to give to anyone, and wanting her didn’t change that reality.
She could want more from me, and then I would end up being another item on her list of worries. That, I couldn’t do. We only had three more weeks left. I couldn’t fuck it up. My job, and her fragile spirit, was on the line. One month was the deal, and then we’d part ways, hopefully not more fucked up than before.
“Thank you for letting me in a bit.” She was calming down, and her breathing was evening out. I kept holding her until her soft breaths told me she was asleep. No doubt those snores of hers would be showing up soon, but that didn’t stop me from continuing to hold onto her for as long as I could.
My alarm startled me when it started ringing, telling me it was time to wake up. I didn’t even remember falling asleep. My head was reeling from having actually slept a normal amount last night. Then all the memories came back to me in an instant. Kissing Livia, dancing with her, telling her I’d dry fuck her against a wall until she screamed my name. Then she got sick, and I told her a bit of my secrets.
Her body was snuggled against me, still asleep. She was breathtaking. Having her in my arms like this, feeling so right, scared the shit out of me. Without waking her up, I untangled myself and slipped out the door to get some fresh air.
My fingers ran through my hair in panic. Fuck. This girl was doing things to me, and I was not a fan of change. I stood in the cool breeze, trying to figure out what I was going to do. The only decision I could get on board with was, even though it would sting a little for her, I had to move on. She would think I didn’t want her and would go back to just being my passenger for the rest of the trip. We’d get along. I’d answer her questions, and neither of us would dig deeper. I had these thoughts before going to bed, and I felt it was the only way she and I were going to get out of this without serious trouble. Stick with the plan.
I went back into the truck and grunted as usual to her about getting up, doing her thing, and then we were going to head off. Long drive to Montana, and we were going to be doing a straight shot, with just a thirty-minute break here and there. Thankfully we picked her up thicker pants and a jacket in San Diego, so the snow we were bound to hit wouldn’t bother her. Montana in January was pretty brutal sometimes.
She yawned, but rolled out of bed. Fucking adorable.
Her ass was right in my face as she leaned over to grab her bag to go to the restroom, and I had the extreme craving to nip at it. Not giving in to my urges to fuck her into oblivion was going to be harder to resist now that I’ve tasted her. But I had to fight it. For both of us.
We walked together to the bathrooms and then separated to take care of business. I was done before she was, so I waited by the map of Vegas for her to come back out. Vegas was shady, and I didn’t want anyone thinking she was a lot lizard again. That indignity I could protect her from, for damn sure.
When she emerged from the restroom, she was still in her sweat clothes, but looked like she was exhausted. She really must not drink a lot, if she felt this horrible after only one glass of beer and three shots.
“I think I’m just going to lie down and read, or watch a movie, on this drive.” She yawned and I nodded. She looked at me, opened her mouth, then turned back to face the truck as we approached the doors.
I knew she wanted to talk about last night, but my disinterest was keeping her quiet. Maybe she was regretting her choice to make out with the “grumpy driver,” as she called me. Maybe she was the one that was actually disinterested. She had been drunk, maybe not quite realizing what she was doing. The thought immediately took me from faking a bad mood, to an actual bad mood. I took advantage of her being intoxicated. I was a fucking bastard, probably no better than her dick ex.
I started the truck as soon as we were settled, her, lying on my bunk with her Kindle in her hands, and me in my seat, brooding. I logged in my start time, and programmed the address in my GPS. We picked up the cars with ease, and then we took off towards Montana without any issues. She remained quiet.
She didn’t talk to me for a few hours. She nibbled on some bread, and finally spoke up when she had to pee. We stopped to take a short break and stretch, which this time she opted out of, then went back to the highway. She was off, and I was still in a shit mood, so the cab was very quiet. She fell asleep after maybe another hour and I just pushed on through, driving until she woke up again.
She slept for four hours. We were making good time, and only had about seven and a half more to go. Once she was up, we stopped for a late lunch.
“Sorry if I snored,” she mumbled after taking a bite of her sandwich. We chose turkey avocado sandwiches for our trip. It was a good choice.
“You didn’t.” She looked at me and then back to her sandwich, sullenly.
“What’s your favorite state?” I could tell she didn’t want to be quiet anymore. This was an easy question that I could ask.
“Florida.” She tilted her head to the side.
“Interesting.”
My turn, back to asking her the same thing. She rolled her eyes, knowing what I was doing, but answered anyway.
“I love Florida, too. Although California was nice. Maybe after the month is over I’ll live somewhere different.” She seemed to be picturing it in her head. My first thought was her, in a purple bikini, lying out in the sun on my dock back home. The image was unexpected, but sadly, not unwelcomed. Sighing, I finished off my sandwich and decided to get out and walk off my frustration. So I did.
“Hey, Killian! Wait up!” she called after me. I turned to see her running my way, with a look in her eyes that said she was finally going to say something about last night.
Chapter Fifteen
Livia
He was avoiding me. Ever since he woke up this morning, he had been quiet. And while that was a normal thing for him, this type of quiet was a darker kind. He was upset, and turning into himself. Maybe he was mad at me for getting sick and ruining the moment last night? Maybe he really just didn’t want me; I was just a woman grinding on him. Or maybe he just changed his mind? I was tired of those thoughts, and more, going through my head today. I just wanted to talk about it. If it was all a mistake, then fine, it would sting, but I’d move on eventually. He looked at me jogging toward him without showing any emotions. Shocker.
