“Look, I’m sorry if I enticed you last night, making you want female company. I haven’t had alcohol in years. You don’t need to beat yourself up about anything; it was all my fault. I get it. My pride may be stung a little, but I’ll be all right.” I watched his face for anything, any sign of what he was thinking, but got nothing. Just that stubborn piece of hair that fell into his eye.
“We’re good.” That’s all he said before he turned to walk away. I wasn’t sure what else I could say. I could tell him I was developing feelings for him, or that I wanted to continue what we started last night. I really wanted to do that, but I was scared. Not just of being with him, but of how badly it was going to hurt when our month was over. I still had no idea what I was going to do with myself at the end of the month, let alone try to figure out how to work another person into the equation. But I couldn’t help wanting him. I missed his arms around me, and it had only been just this morning that I woke up with them holding me, surrounding me in a warm bubble of safety. I felt completely at peace with him. He didn’t know I was awake when he fled the bunk earlier, but I was. It just felt too good, and too right, to be cuddled by him. I didn’t want to move. But obviously he did.
Feeling that sting in my pride, I bundled into my thick jacket —it was freezing outside and the wind blowing—and walked to the bathroom. Killian was standing outside the truck when I came back to it. He didn’t say anything as he hopped up into the truck, and I sighed. We were back to square one. I should just leave things the way they were. Less complicated.
I went back to his bunk and found solace in my books. In books you could be anyone, live thousands of lives without leaving your home. In that moment, I realized, I could do whatever I wanted. This whole crazy plan was a way to figure my shit out. Well, maybe I should continue to live more, and step out of the comfort zones I put myself in, and do that. Figure out who I am, and what I want to do with my life. I only had three weeks left, and dammit, I was going to make the most of my time going around the country.
Whenever we got to where we were staying in Montana, I was going to do what I wanted, and live in the moment, like I wanted. When Killian asked me my theme song, I told him “Living in The Moment” was my song. It was time for me to truly take that to heart.
First objective was going to be pushing him, once and for all. Either he wanted me and was holding back, or he truly was not interested. Getting him to his breaking point and giving me some sort of emotion was priority one. I couldn’t fail. My mind and body were tired of watching him without being able to touch him. I was addicted to the fire he created inside me, needing more until I was satisfied. My eyes roamed to him as he chewed on a Twizzler, watching the road without knowing I was plotting against him.
“What’s your theme song?” I asked, because I knew he would ask me the same question afterwards, and somehow I knew he would be completely honest with this question, even if he didn’t want to.
“?Way Down We Go’ by Kaleo.” That was not at all what I expected to come out of his mouth. I’d fallen in love with that band a few months ago. The song was so raw and deep. Most people saying it made them sad hearing it, but it had the opposite effect on me. The singer’s voice was so raw that I wanted to throw my panties at him. Maybe I was into tortured men. Killian was definitely punishing himself for something. But what?
Just like I knew he would he asked me the same question, this time I was going to shake him a little.
“?Hot Blooded’ by Foreigner.” How about them apples? I watched his fingers grip the steering wheel, and knew I wasn’t too far from getting him to the edge. I needed this to happen.
We arrived at a large log cabin, after what seemed like hours driving down a long driveway. Killian said the guy was a friend and millionaire who retired to the woods of Montana. He owned about two thousand acres. I wasn’t struggling financially, especially since I sold my business, but I could never imagine having that much. Honestly, I don’t think I’d want a house that big. Too much to clean and take care of. I’d be happy with a small little cabin, but not this gigantic thing before us. A man in a jacket came out. He was older, with a white beard cut close to his chin. Even in the darkness of the night, I could tell he was a nice looking older guy. Aged well. With the owner’s help, Killian backed the truck to a large warehouse, and they unloaded the trailer. I stayed in the heat of the truck until they were done. It was in the teens out there, with snow covering the ground. While I was in awe of it, having never seen snow in person, I wasn’t ready to leave the cozy cab yet.
Killian climbed back in and parked in a spot that seemed to have been made for his truck. Some of these people must use him a lot to transport cars for them, if he had his own parking spot and everything.
“Grab your stuff, and put your jacket and boots on.” He was brisk with his words, and then threw some clothes in a bag. I may or may not have intentionally brushed my breast against him, and bent down to grab things low with my ass in the air to make him look at it. When I didn’t hear any sharp intake of breath of anything, I tried not to let it get to me. Wasn’t willing to give up yet. I was going to get to him!
With my bag ready to go, I opened the door and hopped down into the snow. Thankfully without falling.
“Holy shit, it’s cold. Why would people live in this?” My nose felt like it was starting to turn into a Popsicle.
“Never been in the cold?” Killian asked with his bag over his shoulder, leading us towards the front door of the elaborate cabin.
“Nope, never left Florida until last week.” Something in my answer actually made him stop walking and look at me. I wish I knew what he was thinking right now; whatever it was, the look on his face made me think he was looking at a unicorn with the awe in his eyes. Stupid, grumpy, untalkative man.
He recovered himself and started walking again. I couldn’t help the sigh that came from my lips. I longed to hear him speak. Read me a book or something.
The door opened up and the old man was there, waiting.
“Get that girl out of the cold!” He waved us in and I automatically smiled. The man could probably be my grandpa. He looked like he worked a lot in his day, had sweet, smile wrinkles around his eyes, and a grin that was very welcoming.
“Lucas Lonsello. Pleasure to meet you, Belle.” He had a French accent. I wondered what he said.
“Livia Jones. Thanks for letting me in.” I shook his hand and then he pulled me in for a hug. I was caught off guard by it, but then hugged him back. I was a hugger.
“I know you both must be famished from the drive. I made lasagna and garlic bread. Please, come eat.” He smiled and gestured for us to leave our bags by the door and come eat. I was pretty hungry so I followed like a puppy, salivating mouth and all.
Chapter Sixteen
Livia
My stomach was so stuffed with food I thought I would burst open. I yawned as I held onto Killian’s torso while he drove us via snowmobile to another cabin we were going to be staying in. Yep. Another cabin, that Killian wanted to stay in, versus being in the larger cabin with Mr. Lonsello. Though the man had all his family coming in the next day, so I was grateful that Killian opted for the quieter choice. We plowed through the snow for five minutes until we reached a way smaller cabin than the one behind us. This one was probably more a studio-like cabin. It was perfect!!
Killian parked the snowmobile right by the porch and waited for me to climb off first before getting off himself, except I slipped on the patch of ice that I didn’t see, and started to plummet towards the snow face first.
His strong arms reached out and snatched me back before I touched the ground, thus putting me right in his lap. Not sure he thought that one through. Our faces were inches apart, and the magnetism between our lips was alluring. My eyes met with his, and you could see him fighting it. Excitement soared inside me, seeing that in his stormy eyes, he wasn’t as disinterested as he was trying to seem. I knew it!
His hands gripped me tighter and anticipation of what he was going to do next was making me bite my lip from waiting.
Then he picked me up and set me on the ground, dashing my hopes.
