I never thought I’d actually enjoy being carefree and going with the flow. But it was so easy to lean on Wayne, even when I wasn’t sure I could count on him to be there. God, I feel pathetic for admitting that, even to myself.
Today, I’ve spent hours aimlessly moping around my guest bedroom and wondering what kind of life I’ll be able to give to this child inside me when, out of nowhere, I hear a swell of laughter from downstairs. That isn’t super unusual — my parents, to their credit, are still obsessed with each other, and their smiles and laughter often brighten my spirits — but this laugh sounded different. Somebody is visiting. And for some reason—maybe just boredom and sadness, if nothing else—I decide to go see who it is.
The laughter continues. I smile to myself. The love of my parents, wonderful as it is, feels like something I’ll never find. Asmuch as I daydreamed that I might have that with Wayne, that chance is gone. If it ever really existed.
I shake those thoughts from my head and pad my way down the hallway, my footsteps soft on the well-worn wood flooring. My fingertips drag idly over the light blue paint on the walls, and I smile when it shifts to yellow to mark the entrance to the kitchen. Mom always wanted a yellow kitchen.
I turn the corner and stop dead in my tracks, my skin breaking out in goosebumps.
As I suspected, Mom and Dad aren’t alone in the kitchen. My eyes narrow in on a set of familiar broad shoulders, neat brown hair that I’ve run my fingers through countless times, sturdy legs crossed at the ankle.
Wayne leans against the island, grinning widely at my parents.
Wayne isin my kitchen.
The cheerful chatter falls away as soon as I step forward, all eyes turning to me. It feels like one of those moments where I should have something snarky to say, but my mind is completely blank. I’m utterly speechless, tempted to pinch myself to make sure this is real. I don’t even know if Iwantit to be real.
How the hell is Wayne here, in Tampa, joking with my parents in their kitchen?Whyis he here?
“Well, if it isn’t the lady of the hour!” My mom’s warm voice buzzes in my ears, and I can barely process what the words even mean. “Why don’t we give these two some time alone?”
My eyes don’t leave Wayne as my parents brush past me to give us some privacy. I shiver when my mom squeezes my shoulder supportingly as she passes. If I can feel her hand, that means this is real.
I kind of want to cry. “What’s going on?” I sputter out, stepping back.
Wayne winces at the rough, brittle quality of my voice, but the warmth in his dark gaze doesn’t falter. He looks over me like he’s drinking in the sight, eyes tracing every line of my face. It feels like he’s trying to memorize me, like he’s scared this will be the last he sees of me.
“Katie…” he breathes out. “Hi.”
He sounds unspeakably relieved and simultaneously so anxious that he’s about to burst at the seams. I’m still struggling to convince myself he’s actuallyhere.
I don’t say anything, my mind a whirlwind of too many thoughts to even try to form words.
He takes a deep breath before opening his mouth, but as soon as he starts speaking, it’s like he can’t stop. “I have been the biggest, most useless asshole in the entire world, and I have no idea where to even begin to apologize to you. Saying I’m sorry doesn’t feel like enough, but I am. I’m so sorry for making you feel like you had to deal with any of this alone, for not paying enough attention to know that you needed help and were too scared to ask for it. I’m sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t rely on me, and I’m sorry for not taking any of this as seriously as I should have.”
I stare at him in shock, not expecting a litany of apologies to be the first thing out of his mouth. I certainly didn’t expect them to sound sohonest.
He fidgets as he speaks, picking at his nailbeds and shifting his weight, obviously uncomfortable but forcing himself through this. That thought breaks through some of the surprise, and a tentative thread of warmth blooms in my gut.
“I’ve always been careless and casual…” He pauses, staring down sadly. “And I never realized how different it felt to be serious about something.” Now, he squares his shoulders and meets my eyes, almost challengingly. “It took losing you for me to realize how much I’m truly in love with you, and that I don’twant to spend a single day of my life without you. And I’m sorry it took until then for me to realize what I needed to do”
The words punch right through my chest and out the other side, stealing my breath and every thought with it. I gape at him, having no clue what else to do.
What am I supposed to say? He’s not stepping forward, not trying to kiss me or making pretty promises. He’s just… saying things so honestly that I can hardly fathom the depths of their meaning. His words are blunt and to the point, but his face is a mask of anxiety and hope.
Has he been as scared of losing me as I was of losing him?
“You’ve probably noticed the case was dropped,” he says.
I nod feebly.
He smiles. “I got your notes admitted to evidence, and Chase dropped the suit. I don’t know if you had your mail forwarded, but I want you to know that you don’t have to worry about that, at least.” His eyes shine with hope, but there’s nothing in his words seeking appreciation. He really just wants me to know that burden has been lifted, whether I thank him for it or not. He wants my life to be easier. “I talked to Dr. Sarah, too, and she said she’d be happy to bring you back after you give birth. I know it’s not a job for right now, but I can take care of you. Even if you don’t ever want to work again, I can take care of you.”
His gaze drops, a blush blooming over his face. It’s not all embarrassment, there’s a hint of pride shining in his bashful smile. He’s thought about this. About all of it.
He’s not just asking for me back, he’s giving me something to come back to. Something real.
“I’m starting a practice in town, just helping out locals with contracts and that kind of thing, maybe some teleconference stuff if I need some extra cash. And I… I know it’s presumptuous, but I found us a potential house. It has a big backyard, andthere’s a room right next to the master bedroom that would be perfect for a nursery?—”
