I burst into tears.
It’s all I can do, so overwhelmed by the thought of any of it that something breaks in me. Maybe it’s fear, or hope, or something in between, but I can do nothing but sob as Wayne stares at me. His own eyes are wet, that soft smile still on his face, and my heart aches.
“You’re insane,” I choke out.
He huffs out a soft, apologetic laugh. “Yeah.”
I shake my head, yearning and heartbreak rioting against each other in my lungs. What he’s saying is so much, and Iwantit.
“You had your chance.” My voice shatters over the syllables, and Wayne’s smile turns a touch sad around the corners, but it doesn’t waver. “You didn’t want me. I gave you everything I could, and you gave menothing, Wayne.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” His words are hardly more than a whisper. “I was blind, and a stupid kid. I hurt you. I don’t want to do that again. Iwon’tdo that again.”
“So, what? You magically became an adult over the span of a month?” I ask.
I mean for the words to come out accusing and caustic, but they sound almost hopeful. Wayne winces anyway, and his nervous laugh holds a tinge of shame.
“I won’t pretend that I don’t still have plenty of growing to do,” he admits. “But I finally realized it, at least. And I don’t intend to turn a blind eye to it. I’m going to step up and be what you need, Katie. If you give me a shot, I swear I won’t make you regret it. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I can be worthy of you if that’s what it takes, and I’ll be grateful for every second of it.”
I feel like I’m at war with myself, the cautious part of my brain so terrified to trust him that I can barely hear the way my heart screams for me to at least try. How am I supposed to trust him after everything? Do I just pretend it didn’t happen and fall into his arms, take what I can get and find a way to be happy with it?
I’d never forgive myself if I wound up trapped in a loveless life with a child suffering because of an impulsive, rash decision.
I know, just as surely, that I’ll never forgive myself if I don’ttry.
Tears slip free and roll down my cheeks once again, and I stumble forward, closing the distance between us. Wayne stiffens when I collapse forward into his chest, but he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around me and hold me close, careful not to put pressure on my heavy stomach.
I’ve always been ruled by logic. Passion has been something I dreamed of, but never experienced—until Wayne reentered my life. And right now, the only thing driving me is my heart.
“You’re an asshole,” I sob into Wayne’s shoulder. “I hate you.”
I pull him impossibly closer as he laughs and rubs gently over my lower back. He peppers kisses over the crown of my head, and I can feel how wide he’s smiling.
“That’s okay, beautiful,” he soothes me. “I love you enough for both of us.”
“Dumbass.”
I pull back enough to catch his lips in a frantic kiss. It tastes like salt and desperation, and I can’t get enough of it. Wayne wraps one hand around my neck and drops the other to cup my round stomach, and he makes a soft, adoring noise that slips so sweetly over my tongue.
“I love you, too,” I whisper, barely pulling back far enough to get the words out.
He kisses me like he’s trying to taste the words, murmuring broken syllables of his own love into my mouth as he holds me close.
“I won’t ever leave your side again, baby. I’ll be right here through it all, I swear.”
“You better be,” I say with a breathless laugh.
“I promise.”
This time, it doesn’t feel like empty words. This time, it feels like he means it. He means it so much that I can damn near see the house he found us, our baby taking their first steps in the backyard, homemade meals in a sprawling kitchen. There will be no resentment in the walls of that house, no past sins or mistakes thrown in each other’s faces. I can see Christmases and lazy mornings and hundreds of framed photos on the walls. It feels warm. It feels right.
This time, it feels real.
EPILOGUE
Wayne
Holy shit.Fuck. Jesus Christ — Code Blue! Wait,notCode Blue, that one’s bad. Code Red? Fuck, I’m not a doctor, I don’t know the code for childbirth. Is there a code?
