“Well.” I clear my throat. “I found a house that I think would be good for us.” It feels weird to talk to him about this, a little too close to normal for it to be comfortable yet. Maybe that’s changing, though. I want it to. “My credit’s good, and I could put a pretty solid down payment on it. I’m waiting to hear back from the agent, but I could see us there, y’know? As a family, I mean. With nice curtains and matching coffee cups and everything.”
My dad laughs, but it’s not the cold, hollow laughter I’ve grown used to these last few months. It’s not accusing, not harsh.
He soundshappyagain. Like I remember from when I was a kid.
“The enthusiasm is good, son, but I find it’s always a good idea to include the missus in decisions on decor.”
My breath hitches in my chest at hearing him call mesonand not sound regretful. He and Mary share a playful look, and I’m taken aback by how natural it all seems. A mess of a family, sure, but we’re doing our best.
Mary laughs. “If you take after your father in terms of taste, you shoulddefinitelyget Katie’s opinion before you start decorating.”
I laugh along with them, but guilt twinges in my chest. This feels like the day she left all over again, but now I don’t know where to go to knock her door down and demand answers.
“She’s not exactly talking to me.” I curl my hand around the nape of my neck, anxiety and shame eating away at me. “I can see she reads my texts, but she hasn’t said anything, and she doesn’t pick up when I call. I don’t know what to do short of hiring someone to find her, but that seems kind of… invasive.”
The face Mary makes at the suggestion is enough to confirm that would definitely be a bad idea. The only issue is that I’m runningoutof ideas, bad or otherwise.
Dad shuffles in place, just a shift of his weight so subtle that I almost miss it.
I don’t miss the glance he shoots in Mary’s direction.
It’s the same look he used to give Mom when we were kids, checking if he was allowed to spoil a surprise. He was always the one to break first and tell us about vacations and Christmas presents, but he never said anything without getting the okay from Mom. Both pain and warmth curl in my gut at the memory, but I push it aside. There are more important things to focus on.
That looks said one thing—Mary knows where Katie is.
“Please.” If ever a word could sum up everything rioting in my head right now… I’d probably make a better case for myself if I could come up with a flowery speech, but there’s no space in my mind for frivolities. “I—look, Iknow. I’m a mess, and an asshole, and I should’ve done all of this before I gave her a reason to leave. I’m not asking you to fix it for me, I’m just asking you to tell me where to go. If I have to scour all of Florida for her, I will, but it’s a big state. I could use a pointer in the right direction.”
I sound scared and overwhelmed, even to myself, but I can’t pretend to be anything else. I have no idea what this is going to get me, other than a trip to the East Coast. If Katie told me to fuck off, I’d deserve it, no matter how much work I put into this.
Mary’s resolve wavers, and she glances between me and my dad before sighing.
“She’s in Tampa. I can text you her address.”
Everything goes hazy for a second when she acquiesces, and I have to take several deep breaths to calm myself down.
“Thank you. Both of you.” I put as much sincerity in my voice as I can muster.
My mind is already darting in a million different directions—flights and what to pack and what tosaywhen I get there—and I’m too out of it to pay any attention to the rest of theconversation. All I know is that I cut it off quickly and rush back to my room to throw a suitcase together. There’s only one thing on my mind now.
I’m going to do everything I can to get my girl back.
It’s time she gets everything she deserves.
KATIE
As much as I love my parents, my day-to-day existence really fucking sucks right now.
To be fair, I got a letter saying that David Chase dropped the lawsuit a few days ago—which is insane, amazing, and definitely made me at least 50 percent less likely to die of a heart attack. But as great as that news is, it doesn’t fix anything else. My life is still in shambles.
I lost the career I built for myself back in Montana, and my heart aches at that loss just as much as it does from giving up on Wayne. The chance to start fresh here is exciting, but the harder I try to find a place to put roots down, the harder everything feels.
I’ve already been here for almost a month, and finding work is proving to be almost impossible. I can’t do surgery while I’m pregnant, and no one seems to be interested in a doctor that has such severe restrictions. Several clinics have asked me to reach out after I give birth, as they only have positions for a surgeon available, which is nice, but it doesn’t help me right now.
My parents live in a 55+ community, and I’m already stretching the limits of the visitor policy set by their HOA. I’ve only got another week before someone comes knocking to makesure I’m not still here. Mom and Dad wouldn’t kick me out, sure, but I’m not going to make life harder for them when I’ve already put them out so much. Besides, the HOA might be willing to overlook a quiet 27-year-old, but they’re not going to be as forgiving of a newborn.
Some days are easier than others on the anxiety front, but mostly, I’m lonely.
Wayne was an ass, an inconsistent one at that, but I can’t deny that he made me feel wanted. WatchingJeopardywith my parents just isn’t the same as having Wayne’s attention, the weight of his gaze and the warmth of his hands. He makes…mademe laugh, like no one else I’ve ever met, and life just felt easier with him around. And I liked myself more when he was around. I spend so much time living my life on a schedule, planning every single thing out to the minute, but I could surrender a bit of that control with him. I didn’t have to plan everything, or even know what was going to happen.
