The next morning, as I sip another of Mary’s coffees and check my emails on my laptop, I realize news of my legal success has spread across the area. Suddenly, my email is flooded with responses to months-old queries for work. Apparently, the people who had been suing Katie were some serious big shots, and getting them to back down before a trial occurred is unheard of.
My old bosses even reach out with an offer to return, contingent on an apology to the clients I offended in the first place.
I go back to Billings in person and offer the clients a heartfelt apology for my immaturity. My old bosses are shocked when I take my leave immediately after.
Maybe it’s stupid to turn down the kind of money I was making, thecareerI was building, but I’ve found something that matters more.
I have new plans for my life, and they don’t involve an expensive, lonely apartment far away from my family. My relationship with Katie isn’t the only thing I want to fix. There are a lot of things in my life that I’ve neglected until now.
Mary finds me working at the kitchen table when I return from Billings that night. I’m nervous about her approach, but I have to admit I’m at this point far more comfortable talking to her than either of the people I’m actually related to in this house.
“Long day?” she asks casually.
I’m sure I look like shit, even in my button down and fitted slacks. There’s an air of exhaustion so thick that even I can see it staring back at me in the mirror these days.
“I officially cut ties in Billings. A lot of goodbyes and a lot of apologies.”
She whistles under her breath and leans back in her chair. There’s a sense that she understands this — and I think maybe she does. I don’t know what brought her to my dad, exactly, but I wonder if she maybe went through something similar. “Hey, I hear that,” she says. “Where to from here, then?”
I knew I wasn’t going back to Billings, but saying it out loud is going to make it real. I built an entire life for myself there. And now I’ve given it all up.
“Nowhere.” I snap the lid of my laptop closed and shift my attention to her. “I’m staying here. Not at the ranch, I mean. I know I’ve worn out my welcome here, but I’m not leaving town. I’m going to start my own practice.”
The floor creaks behind me.
“You haven’t worn out your welcome, kid,” Dad says, entering the room. He clasps my shoulder for a brief moment, and despite myself, I feel tears in my eyes. He hasn’t done that a long, long time.
Too long.
When I whirl to face him, he looks just as weary as I do. There’s a softness about him that I’m not used to, and it throws me a little off center.
“Sure about that?” I say with a grin. “I know I’m a pain in the ass.”
“Sure are.” Dad steps over to Mary’s side and crosses his arms, but there’s a hint of a smile on his face. “And starting up here might be hard,” he continues, “Not the caseload you’re used to, I’d imagine. What’s got you wanting to stay close to home?”
He pulls a chair out next to Mary and slouches down into it. I expect him to look argumentative, accusing,something, but he just seems genuinely curious. There’s an air of wariness about him, like he’s worried this will turn into a fight, but I don’t have the energy for that. It’s past-time for me to forgive him for my own pain. He’s put in the effort to change, and I’m finally doing the same.
“There’s plenty of folks who need counsel. Baby stuff, really, compared to the high-profile cases I was doing before … but I was always good with the basics. And these peoplereallyneed help.” I glance back at my computer, remember the emails. It might be boring to look over contracts and clarify jargon all day, but it’ll be worth it. It’llfeelgood. “And it’s about time I settle down, don’t you think? The party-boy lifestyle is getting old.”
Mary raises a brow at me in reproach, and I immediately flush in shame. Looks like it’s easier to slip into my old habits than I expected, especially when I’m already on edge.
I take a deep breath. I stare at Dad for a second. Then, I let the words spill out. “Katie’s pregnant.”
The words fall into deafening silence, and I stare down at the table, afraid to meet my father’s eyes. He always wanted me to be responsible, and getting a girl pregnant when I’m jobless and have no idea what I’m doing with my life is pretty much the opposite of that. As tension courses through me, my mouthstarts running—as usual.” “I was stupid,” I say, “and I didn’t take things seriously enough. She had a lot going on, and I didn’t step up to help her. I’m trying to make things right. She left, and I want her to have something worth coming back to. I want to prove myself.”
Quiet stretches out between the three of us for long enough that my vision starts to blur with anxiety. I’m released from my panic, finally, when my dad reaches out and squeezes my hand. There’s a gentle, tentative smile on his stubbled face. It makes my heart ache a little, seeing just how raw we both are with each other.
Have we really just been tiptoeing around the fact that we both wanted forgiveness this whole time?
“I’m proud of you, Wayne.” His voice shakes when he says it, and the enormity of the statement steals my breath from my lungs. It’s the first time he’s said that to me since I was a kid. “I’m sorry for being so hard on you all this time. I’ve been a bitter old man, but I wanted so badly for you to do better than I did. You’re making a place for yourself in the world, and you’re taking things with Katie seriously, even if it took some fucking up to make it happen. I remember being a stupid kid, and I remember meeting your mom and how quickly everything changed.” He’s silent for a moment, pensive, and then stares right into my eyes. “I always knew you’d turn out fine, Wayne, and I’m… I can’t say how proud of you I am.”
Tears are running down my cheeks now, but past the blur, I can see the shine of my dad’s eyes, too. I lean heavily into the hand on my shoulder, a million things said in the simple gesture that I doubt I’ll ever be able to put into words.
“Thanks, Dad,” I choke out.
We sit together in the quiet for a while, the oppressive tension fading away to something that feels a whole hell of a lot like family.
I didn’t think I’d ever share that feeling with my dad again.
