It wasn’t until morning that she realized he’d slept on the other side of the tent, far away from her.
May,1300
The interior of the cottage was cold and dark. It lay on the outskirts of Glen Arrin, far away from the others. The faint scent of dried herbs lingered and she saw her mother Rós’s abandoned drop spindle. Laren traced her fingers over the wooden walls, remembering how she’d huddled on the pallet with her younger sisters for warmth.
Some nights, when her father had managed to catch a trout from the loch, they’d feasted together, sharing the succulent fish. She remembered the way he’d told stories, exaggerating the adventure he’d had when trying to secure their meal.
Closing her eyes, she tried to will back the hurt. He’d never been good at farming or fighting, but he’d done his best at both. And he’d been a kind man.
“Laren?” came a male voice.
She turned and saw Alex standing in the doorway. Her breath caught, and she had to push back the urge to fly into his arms.
“I thought I might find you here,” he said. “Father Nolan told me your mother and sisters went to St Anne’s.”
She nodded. Not by their choice, but by his mother’s hand. Grizel MacKinloch had suspected their courtship, and she’d done everything possible to separate them.
“I shouldn’t be here,” she whispered. “It was wrong of me to come back.”
“Why?” His hands moved around her waist, pulling her into a light embrace. “I haven’t seen you in two moons, and you behave as though it’s been two years.”
“You’re thetánaistenow.“ She knew what that meant, even if he was unwilling to acknowledge it. The future leader needed a woman of his own status, someone who could govern the clan.
“I won’t be chief for many years yet,” he said. “It’s a title and nothing else.”
“You have to wed a woman of status. It’s expected of you.”
“I’ll wed a woman of my choice and no one else.” There was a hard edge to his voice and she wondered what had happened during the weeks she’d left Glen Arrin.
Gently, she touched his face. He didn’t see her as low-born, and something inside her blossomed, knowing that her poverty meant nothing at all to him. He’d never known what it was to go hungry when her father was too proud to ask for food. The other clan members hardly spoke to her at all, pretending as though her family didn’t exist. If she were to wed Alex and he became chief, she could only imagine their outrage. Why should a beggar deserve such a position?
Alex took the edges of his cloak and drew the wool around her, his body heat warming her. She could feel his body responding to her and wanted to lean in against him, letting him know how much she’d missed him.
But this wasn’t only about her desires. It was about responsibility to her family. She’d seen Rós’s happiness among the other nuns. No doubt her mother would seek to be a part of the religious community. Her sisters were too young to be married, but Grizel had promised to provide dowries for them, if their family stayed away.
“Come with me,” he urged. “To our stone circle.”
She wanted to tell him no, for even a single step would bring her closer to surrendering her innocence. And it would be that much harder to let him go.
He kissed her and the warmth of his mouth pulled at her, reaching past her inhibitions and fears, until she could deny him no longer.
She followed him into the woods, even knowing she would regret it on the morrow. But her heart belonged to him. If she would no longer see him again, at least she could have this time.
He shared his cloak with her, his hand holding hers as they walked. But when she saw the circle of torches and the priest waiting, she understood his intent and stopped walking.
“Alex, we can’t.” She kept her voice low, not wanting Father Nolan to hear. “You can’t wed me.”
“I can. I swear to you, I’ll not let you leave until you’re my wife.” His strong arms trapped her in place and he led her over to one of the standing stones. He held up a hand to the priest, silently bidding the man to wait. “What is it you’re afraid of?”
She expelled a breath, staring at the wooded darkness. “You’re going to be the chief one day.”
“Years from now, perhaps.” He turned her chin to face him. “Before that, I intend to be a husband. Perhaps a father.”
She didn’t smile. “If I wed you, my mother and sisters will suffer.”
She explained that Grizel had ordered her family sent away, offering dowries for her sisters in return. Alex’s face darkened with fury. “Do you believe I’d allow my mother to harm your family?”
He let his hands fall away, struggling to grasp at the edges of his temper. “I have possessions of my own, Laren. I can sell them and provide for your family.”
