With respect,
forever loving you, Bay."
And that’s when I lose the fight with my tears. They start falling again, and moments later I’m sobbing, pressing the phone to my chest.
Bay… even after our breakup he’s still taking care of me, wanting to make sure I’m safe… and that’s the man I lost?
My love, my protector, my other half…
I’m sobbing loudly now, desperately, completely forgetting about Jared.
He trembles as though my crying shakes him.
"What happened? What did you read?"
I struggle to speak, my throat tight.
"Nothing bad, just another reminder of how amazing Bay is. He just offered to support me financially throughout college and told me I can keep living in this house… even though he’s the one who bought it."
"Bay?"
"Bay Nolan. My husband."
"I think I know him. Isn’t he that YouTuber who does those cool covers?"
"Yes, that’s him."
"Wow. He’s really hot!"
I clench my teeth. "Sorry, Jared, but I need to go see my dad now. Your room will be the one upstairs. There’s a small bathroom there too, you can use it."
Jared stares at me, then suddenly reaches out and shyly squeezes my hand.
"I’m really sorry you’re going through so much. I wouldn’t have come here if I’d known…"
"Who knows, maybe you saved my life," I whisper, letting my head drop to my chest.
For a brief moment, there is silence while our hands remain joined.
At least now I know there are still people I might be able to help, that need me. Or maybe they’re the ones who will help me… stay alive?
???
A few hours later, after eating something and regaining a bit of strength, I take an Uber to the hospital. Jared insists on coming with me.
Dad is here in the oncology ward. Stage four cancer.
Jared stays in the hallway while I step inside, shaking all over. Stress, grief, shame crash into me at once. I had no idea my dad was dying, that he was suffering…
I walk into the single room.
Dad is lying in the bed, pale as paper, unmoving. His eyes look empty and distant, as if they’re already seeing another world.
"Hi, Dad…" I whisper weakly as I sit, reaching for his hand. It’s cold, thin.
I feel terrible for being distant for so long and essentially eliminating him from my life.
"Hello," he answers, his voice trembling.
