And I wanted to die in peace.
To leave this horrible world!
The world that is just a bad, cruel place.
I rub my temples and shake my head.
"Oh my Fate, Jared, I’m so sorry. You should’ve come straight here. You should’ve come right away! Damn, those bastards…"
I try to stand, to pull him into a hug, but I sway and drop back onto the step. My strength still hasn’t returned.
I reach my hand toward him anyway, wanting him close, but he recoils.
"You don’t have to… you know… you don’t have to hug me," he blurts through clenched teeth.
"But I want to. I just… fuck, I haven’t eaten in three days because I was trying to die, and I’m so damn sorry. I know someone who went through something similar and…" I cut myself off. That’s not a story he needs to hear.
I stubbornly extend my hand until Jared finally takes it, and then I pull him toward me and wrap my arms around his tall, slim body.
"You can stay here, Jared. I don’t know how it’ll look, because I just broke up with my boyfriend or actually… my husband. And I don’t want to live anymore. He was everything to me."
Jared pulls back and studies my face. He’s beautiful, but the bruises give him this painful, dramatic look.
"How selfish of me," he murmurs. "Talking only about myself. What about you? Is that why you were starving yourself?"
I sigh as the weight crashes onto me again. There’s no escaping it, no conversation that can lift it.
"Yes. It turns out my husband and I are incompatible. Our glands matured almost at the same time and… oh Fate…" I squeeze my eyes shut. "He was everything to me, and now everything’s shattered," I say, rubbing my face, almost trying to push the tears back inside before they spill.
Jared’s head is hanging down, his eyes dejected.
"This life is so damn messed up. I lost Bay, my dad’s in the hospital, and now this with you. I think I’m losing my mind, I’m losing it!"
Jared blinks and suddenly turns away, as if not wanting to impose.
"Sorry… I’m sorry… I’ll go. I don’t want to be a problem or a burden."
"No, no, no!" I grab his hands, "Don’t you dare! No way. You’re staying here. I’m being all over the place because I lost my love. But even if the world falls apart, you stay with me, okay?"
"I don’t know if—"
My phone gives a soft ping, the alert for an incoming email.
Since my spam filter is excellent, I know that anything landing in my inbox is something I should read, so I ignore Jared’s surprised look, take out my phone, and check the message.
Bay Nolan
…that’s the header.
Fuck.
Bay…
I start reading, feeling my pulse jump crazy.
"Dear Alex,
I’m writing this email to settle everything that still lies between us. Even though it turned out we’re incompatible, my feelings for you remain unchanged and will stay that way for the rest of my life. That’s why I want you to know that your well-being will be secured. You can live in this house, I won’t claim any rights to it. Every month I will transfer the money you need for your living expenses, your bills, and whatever you require as long as you’re in college. Please don’t feel guilty about any of this. We are still a married couple and will be until you decide to file for divorce, so legally you are entitled to partof my income. The YouTube payment just came in, so I already sent the first installment today, which should cover your costs for the next few months. Don’t hesitate to write to me about anything, any worry or concern. Even though we can’t be together, it doesn’t mean we can’t support each other or remain friends.
