We sit in silence for a long time, and then he suddenly says,
"I got the diagnosis a few days before you decided to move out."
Silence again.
"You probably thought I was a mean parent who threw you out at the first disagreement, but I didn’t want you to suffer knowing I was sick. You had your life, your love."
I don’t know what to say because I’m out of tears. It feels like all I do lately is cry and cry, and the world ignores it while everything around me collapses. I can’t stop the destruction. It’s ever-present.
"I didn’t want to stain your happiness with the ugliness of my illness, Alex. And I hoped the experimental, expensivetreatments would help me recover, get better, but unfortunately they didn’t work."
"What… what does that mean, Dad?"
"I have a few weeks left."
To say the ground disappears under my feet would be an understatement, because it already vanished when Bay left. Now I’m just falling faster through the void.
"Oh my gosh, Dad… I’m sorry…"
His pale face tightens with pain.
"The most important thing is that you’re happy and that you have Bay. That comforts me…"
"No, I don’t have him anymore…" I whisper and tell him the truth.
With every word I speak, the strength seems to drain from him. I’m trembling too, shivering.
"I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to you these last days, but… my world stopped existing, Dad. I loved him so much, I still love him. He wants to support me financially, but what does that matter if I don’t have him? I’m devastated, and now this… you… in the hospital… I’m sorry. I was a bad son."
"Don’t apologize, son. I know how you must feel. I feel guilty that my treatments drained so much money, and the house we live in is mortgaged. I won’t be able to leave you much or help you. So hearing that he wants to support you brings me relief. But also… I want you to know that a few weeks ago I reached out to your biological father."
My whole body jolts.
Wait, what did he say?
"Really? You always said he didn’t know."
A quiet breath escapes him. His pale eyes focus on me.
"I couldn’t take that truth to my grave. It wouldn’t have been fair to you or to him."
"What did he say…" I whisper, something breaking tight inside my throat.
"I told you he has a family and children, and that he’s a public figure. I was afraid he wouldn’t want the scandal—"
"A public figure?"
Dad goes silent for a moment, gathering strength. His pale lips tremble.
"Yes. But he surprised me. He told me that if you ever find yourself in financial trouble, you can reach out to him and he’ll help. He can’t promise to bring you into his life or reveal you to the world, but he won’t refuse support if you need it. He criticized me for keeping it from him. He’s a good man, but considering who he is, I understand his reasons very well… especially since I’d lied to him too."
"I don’t understand…"
A long silence. His eyes are closed. I think he’s asleep, but suddenly he speaks.
"That night in the hotel… the thought crossed my mind, you know, that something might come out of that sex, that maybe I could have a child, and with someone from such a talented and gifted family…"
"I… I still don’t understand."
