“Please,” he says. “Please, you just have to let me explain.” Rainer runs a hand through his hair. He takes another step toward me. I take one back.
“I can’t believe this,” I say. “I can’t—”
“Paige…” His voice is pleading.
“I trusted you,” I say. “I built a life around you. Ichoseyou.”
At this Rainer throws his hands up. “Jesus, does everything have to be about Jordan?”
“Jordan?” I look at him, incredulous. “Do you even care? Did youevercare? Or was that all part of the stunt? Act like the jilted boyfriend…” I trail off. My fists are clenched by my sides. “After everything we’ve been through. Did you ever even—”
“Love you? Yes, of course I love you.”
There it is again: love. It makes me stop. It makes him stop, too. We look at each other over a divide that all at once seems impossibly long and equally short. And I know we’re both thinking the same thing, both aware of it hanging between us—whether it’s going to hammer us in or split us apart.
Rainer goes to sit down on the couch. He puts his head in his hands. “Sit down,” he says. I do.
He pauses, and then he begins. “I liked you immediately,” he says softly. “You were warm and unaware and so naïve. You were so pure, and I wanted—I wanted to be your friend. But then—” He exhales. “Then my dad told me it would be great for the franchise if we were dating. He said to get to know you, that’s all, and see how I felt.”
I don’t move. It feels like my whole body has turned to lead.
“But then I did and—” He clears his throat. “I fell in love with you.”
“Rainer…”
“It’strue, Paige. When I asked you on Maui to be mine, I meant it. I wasn’t pretending. Think about everything that has happened. Do you really think it was all a lie?”
“I don’t know what to think.” Nothing is real. Nothing is the way it seems. These last few months, it has felt like I’ve been struggling to not just be an amalgamation of the stories written about me. But it turns out, I didn’t even know the truth at the center of my own life.
Rainer was the one grounding thing I had. The one person I could count on through all of this. He was the only thing that felt, really and truly,real. And now I know all we were doing was playing pretend, just like our characters. In love, in front of the world. “I have to go,” I say. I stand up.
“Stop.” He reaches for me. “Stay. Let’s talk about this.”
“I don’t want to talk,” I say, moving toward the door. “I just want to be alone.”
I suddenly remember I don’t have a car here. I stand in the doorway, Rainer behind me. “I have to call a cab,” I say.
I spin to look at Rainer. I expect him to launch into another pleading speech, but he must read something on my face, because instead he goes to the bowl on the counter and plucks the Range Rover keys. “Here,” he says. “Take the car. I’ll have Sandy pick it up tomorrow.”
I take them from him wordlessly.
“Paige, I’m so sorry,” he says. “Whatever I can do to make this right, I will. Please just tell me.”
I look at him. His beautiful face is tear-streaked. “I don’t know,” I say. “That’s the problem.”
I drive home in a daze. I park in the back, go in through the courtyard, and unlock the door. I plop down on the couch, my head in my hands. My thoughts are spinning too fast to keep up. I’m just about to head upstairs when I hear a knock at the window. I look through the glass and see Jordan waving from the other side.
I pull open the door.
“Alexis asked me to drop this off for her.” He holds up a bag. I take a step toward him and pluck it out of his hands. It’s the Do Something T-shirt and an iPhone. For Instagramming, right. “Also, your courtyard lock is kind of lame. You may want to look into that.” He gives me a small lopsided smile.
“Well, thanks,” I say. “I could have picked it up.”
Jordan shrugs. “You know Alexis; patience isn’t really her strong suit.”
“Yeah.”
“Anyway, I’ll just… Are you okay?” He’s looking at my face, and I see his train of thought veer off into concern.
